L
loopylou
Learn to fly
- Jan 11, 2021
- 884
As many of you know I tried to ctb two weekends ago. I sat in front of a family member with my benzos and my sn & water. He didn't know it was SN. I cried as i don't want to leave behind people I care about but it's got to the point I'm doing more harm than good trying to stay afloat. So I told him I want to die and I can't take it anymore and he yelled at me
' if you was going to commit suicide you would just do it'
so I drank the SN and sent him away.
fast forward two weeks later... his best friend commits suicide. There's been the usual bullshit on Facebook. But a message my family member sent really cut a nerve with me and I'm struggling to contain my emotions due to bpd and I really don't want to be insensitive and make it about me but his message said
'I wish he reached out and told me he felt like that'
I'm bpd livid. I know I'm getting better at controlling it as before I would of just lashed out immediately after reading the message. It just sucks to feel like my life is worth less than someone else's.
:(
' if you was going to commit suicide you would just do it'
so I drank the SN and sent him away.
fast forward two weeks later... his best friend commits suicide. There's been the usual bullshit on Facebook. But a message my family member sent really cut a nerve with me and I'm struggling to contain my emotions due to bpd and I really don't want to be insensitive and make it about me but his message said
'I wish he reached out and told me he felt like that'
I'm bpd livid. I know I'm getting better at controlling it as before I would of just lashed out immediately after reading the message. It just sucks to feel like my life is worth less than someone else's.
:(