my preferred method to ctb would be to od, however i attempted before and was too scared to go high enough in dose
i have a few different substances i can easily access. i want to combine xanax gabapentin and dxm. maybe alcohol too, maybe kratom? i dont want to throw up or be in pain or panic or have a 'bad trip' while dying. i just want to peacefully disappear into void. so im thinking of taking all my xannies and gabbies and just a lower amount of dex like 2nd plat, maybe a little alcohol but not too much bc im a lightweight. that would maximize sedation and probably kill any anxiety right? can that combo kill me if i dose high enough? if i dont have enough or it doesnt work then maybe i'll just keep fucking around with getting high and gambling on the chance that i 'accidentally' od and die. thats what ive been doing, but im getting tired of it and i feel guilty doing it since i made a promise to be clean. techically i made a promise to live too and not hurt myself, but i cant keep those promises anymore, im sorry
i have a few different substances i can easily access. i want to combine xanax gabapentin and dxm. maybe alcohol too, maybe kratom? i dont want to throw up or be in pain or panic or have a 'bad trip' while dying. i just want to peacefully disappear into void. so im thinking of taking all my xannies and gabbies and just a lower amount of dex like 2nd plat, maybe a little alcohol but not too much bc im a lightweight. that would maximize sedation and probably kill any anxiety right? can that combo kill me if i dose high enough? if i dont have enough or it doesnt work then maybe i'll just keep fucking around with getting high and gambling on the chance that i 'accidentally' od and die. thats what ive been doing, but im getting tired of it and i feel guilty doing it since i made a promise to be clean. techically i made a promise to live too and not hurt myself, but i cant keep those promises anymore, im sorry
