being told you’re ‘too young to ctb’

[bunny_brownie9]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's insensitive when people do that. I wish pro-life people could learn to mind their own business as suicide is a personal decision, not something for other people to decide. Those people cannot experience existence in the same way so I don't know what makes them think it's their decision to make. Just because they want to stay here shouldn't mean that others should have to continue suffering, we never consented to this existence and aren't obligated to continue.

 

[donsie]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

When I was in my 20s it was "you're too young" now in my 40s it's "you have time left" . Almost 30 years and more suicide attempts than my age. If I was in my 20s knowing what I know now, I would tell myself to finish the job, this life is misery. When they discuss your age, they are trying to implant hope into you. Your thoughts are not invalid and your life is your choice.

 

[rozeske]

Living the life i have lived am no prolife by any means but everyone has a different mentality, some are too mature for their age and some are too immature for their age. Usually people in young ages don't have clear view of their life and the things around them. They tend to make rush decision and they take a permanent solution for temporary problems. But only that person knows their capacity and what they are going through and only they can make that final decision.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, it doesn't seem terribly fair. I've had ideation since I was 10. I'm not so convinced my thinking was so different aged 18, 20, 25, 30 as it is now- in my 40's.

Things can change- of course. They can get better. They can also stay the same or get worse! That's true of any age though. Plus- just because it works out for one person, doesn't mean it will for another and vice versa. The most important thing though I feel is the want to try. If that's gone- these people should at least concede that they are forcing people to stay against their own will- which to my mind is going to be less effective than really listening to what that person wants and more importantly- why!

They are going to have reasons they want to end it! At least go about it practically and find out what those reasons are... Maybe there are things they haven't considered and maybe they will be willing to try them. That to my mind sounds reasonable to just suggest them. We can all become kind of blinkered and pessimistic in life.

Still- they may just as well have thought of those things themselves, tried them or simply thought- they don't want to try them! So again- if that's the case- pro-lifers out there- admit to yourselves what you're doing! You're forcing an adult to do something they've chosen not to do because you think you know them better than they know themselves. Maybe you'll be right in the long run and I guess that's what this sentiment is based on- if we can 'save' just one person...You have to wonder just how realistic it is though. Can someone who doesn't want to be saved be saved?

In any respect- belittling them with the- 'You're too young to know shit' tactic I'd say wasn't the way to go! Nothing like belittling and insulting the person you are claiming to want to understand and help.

Of course- there is the argument that our brains haven't fully developed until we are 24-25 or whatever. Even still- remember you at that age. At that age, I was living fairly independently and doing my degree. I wouldn't appeciate some priggish adult telling me my brain was a tadpole effectively. Even if it is true- preaching to people like that is going to rub them up the wrong way!

 

[BlackMoon]

Of course- there is the argument that our brains haven't fully developed until we are 24-25 or whatever.

I hate this argument because it's false, or more precisely a misinterpretation of truth.
At 6 your brain already has 95% of its adult size. What most people call "fully developed" is the moment the brain stop making new wires more than it lose between neurons and start to age and (very slowly) reduce in size. It's also around 25 that you start losing slowly in terms of capacity to plan or recall events, for example.

Sorry for kinda venting I guess, I just wanted to use your evocation of this old argument to debunk it a little because it's about the topic: people judging over your age to know if you should have the right to die or not manipulate facts to make reality suits their narrative.

 

[dinosavr]

Imo death is death. I don't consider ctb much of a choice. Given that so many people never had to make that "choice", because their minds have never created suicidal thoughts. It's not our fault that ours have.
And people die from the age 0 to +100 so I guess everyone should be free to go anytime.

 

[Worndown]

Only you know when it is time to go.

 

[bishopxowiki]

I think it's amazing you're in your early twenties and can say you've done all that you wanted to, actually

 

[Angel of Spades]

That's what I feel as well — like if I've had inklings of wanting to die since I was 11 years old, I feel like that should be a decent indicator (and its unchanging state, too! I've never NOT wanted to die) that it's not going to get any better and that I've clearly thought this through long enough.

Haven't I suffered enough? Why do I have to keep fighting for something I never asked for?

 

[caninecomposer]

I'm in the same boat. There's nothing left on my bucket list, but according to some people, I'm supposed to sit in unbearable suffering for between 10,000 – 20,000 more days before I should have the right to a peaceful end. Everyone's life is different, so naturally some will have a much faster progression, and genuinely be done living in 1/3 of the time as others.

 

[SecretDissociation]

I've also experienced this. Most people say it because they look forward to life and truly see things that they would like to do. But for us/me I feel like I have lived life. Good and bad. I've done many hobbies and you know it would be great to do other things but at the end of the day when you die you're gone and nothing would have mattered anyway. Maybe they don't understand that thought. To them everything is endless, and that may as well be true to us, but even the endless can have finite thought i.e I can travel the world and keep meeting people but then these just become memories and many people would strive to do this again and again. Alas I digress haha

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Adults - according to law - should have the power of their own live s no matter what. Best protection is SI anyway.

 

[Annon100]

I've been told that a lot especially when I was 16 and rlly rlly struggling with ctb thoughts I'd get told "you're just a kid you don't know what you feel" or "there's no way you wanna die you've barely lived" that was kinda the point lol I don't wanna live

 

[DazaiKinnie]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

Yeah, a lot. People almost physically forced me to live, they took anything I could ctb with away(I am a legal adult). But I am in the same situation as you. I can barely function as a human or hold a job.

 

[bunny_brownie9]

I think it's amazing you're in your early twenties and can say you've done all that you wanted to, actually

haha by that I mean I haven't really done anything but that doesn't bother me at all. There isn't much else (idk events wise or life milestones) that I'd want to do

 

[hopeless08]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

The pain, suffering and trauma people go through has no age. Just because someone hasn't lived for long doesn't mean they don't suffer as much as others..

 

[losing hope]

If you can overcome SI, then your old enough IMO. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, it's your body & your right!!!

 

[DesperateOne]

I hear this almost every time I talk about my thoughts…

I'm early 20s but to me that doesn't matter. I've experienced enough trauma to last me a lifetime leaving me with debilitating ptsd with bipolar on top. I feel that I've done all that I could've and wanted to do in my life so why is my age so significant.

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this too?

I can relate, hit 23 a few months ago. I don't even know where to begin with my trauma, depression, disassociation, lack of socialization etc... I will need several lifetimes to dig and process this shit. If only I had time during my high school days to stay in the present moment and process some of this or make some friends, but nope I chose to isolate myself from everyone and spend majority of my time in front of a PC as a form of escapism.

My parents have a mountain of shit to deal with as well and they are beyond broken deep down. I love them, but I honestly have 0 clue on why they decided to have me at fucking 18? Like what the fuck... At 18 you barely know what the fuck is going on around you and yet you decided to make a child and didn't abort because your religion/culture told you it was wrong. Again, I love them and I deep down I don't hate them, but I think I'm allowed to be pissed. They are super strong (especially my mom), but why oh why did they have me...

 

[LetMeBeSad]

Living the life i have lived am no prolife by any means but everyone has a different mentality, some are too mature for their age and some are too immature for their age. Usually people in young ages don't have clear view of their life and the things around them. They tend to make rush decision and they take a permanent solution for temporary problems. But only that person knows their capacity and what they are going through and only they can make that final decision.

The permanent solution to a temporary problem is not a well thought out argument. First, life is temporary to begin with. So all of life's problems are temporary. Second, you have no clue what the problem might even be. So for you to say what you said is kind of insensitive. Third, who cares if the problem is more temporary than your life. There is another one right around the corner. Fourth, there are usually many problems involved. Not just a single temporary one. Please think about this and try to not be insensitive in the future.
Age is such a dumb thing to hold people up on. I can join the military at 18 and be handed a rifle to go out and murder others in the name of some bullshit tribalism but, god forbid I turn that gun on myself.


Age is such a dumb thing to hold people up on. I can join the military at 18 and be handed a rifle to go out and murder others in the name of some bullshit tribalism but, god forbid I turn that gun on myself.

 

[rozeske]

The permanent solution to a temporary problem is not a well thought out argument. First, life is temporary to begin with. So all of life's problems are temporary. Second, you have no clue what the problem might even be. So for you to say what you said is kind of insensitive. Third, who cares if the problem is more temporary than your life. There is another one right around the corner. Fourth, there are usually many problems involved. Not just a single temporary one. Please think about this and try to not be insensitive in the future.
Age is such a dumb thing to hold people up on. I can join the military at 18 and be handed a rifle to go out and murder others in the name of some bullshit tribalism but, god forbid I turn that gun on myself.


Age is such a dumb thing to hold people up on. I can join the military at 18 and be handed a rifle to go out and murder others in the name of some bullshit tribalism but, god forbid I turn that gun on myself.

I think you got too emotional and skipped to read the last 2 lines

But only that person knows their capacity and what they are going through and only they can make that final decision.

 

[FloopZee]

I'm early 20s as well and have heard this many of times, not only directed at me. I feel it's just another excuse people throw around to make you feel bad about even suggesting ctb as an option. Even in your 30s-40s you'd possibly hear "You haven't even lived half of your life yet". People are selfish and even in regards to someone expressing a want to ctb, they will say and do things for their own benifit.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I think you got too emotional and skipped to read the last 2 lines

No I read it. Doesn't change the fact that permanent solution to temporary problem was used as some kind of argument. Which doesn't make any sense from any standpoint. It's pro-life bologna regardless of what kind of 'but' statement follows it.

 

[rozeske]

No I read it. Doesn't change the fact that permanent solution to temporary problem was used as some kind of argument. Which doesn't make any sense from any standpoint. It's pro-life bologna regardless of what kind of 'but' statement follows it.

It's my personal opinion and what i said is pretty clear and NOT prolife but take it as you like it. No need to argue, over 40k members here with as much different opinions.

 

[Abyssal]

Mental suffering doesn't have a limit. However, the issues I had in childhood were temporary. Everyone deserves to live long enough to have the freedom to try recovery.

 

[rozeske]

Mental suffering doesn't have a limit. However, the issues I had in childhood were temporary. Everyone deserves to live long enough to have the freedom to try recovery.

This

 

[thinvy]

it's fucked up maybe, but every time someone has said that I'm too young to be suicidal I just pop back with "but my dad wasn't too young to get murdered though, huh?" (he was killed when I was young)

but yeah mental illness doesn't know or care how old you are, just like guns, cancer, the like, ya feel? people can get fucked up at any age. sucks to think about how there are little kiddos not even in middle school/secondary who want to die, but that doesn't make it any less true

 

[LetMeBeSad]

It's my personal opinion and what i said is pretty clear and NOT prolife but take it as you like it. No need to argue, over 40k members here with as much different opinions.

You have a right to your personal opinion. But the permanent solution to a temporary problem argument is objectively bad and minimizes people's problems. Which makes it an inconsiderate opinion.

I'm allowed to criticize it. And that doesn't change because there are lots of members with varied opinions. I'm also not arguing. It's easy to tell when I'm emotional and this is not that. I'm trying to tell you that when you tell people that shit, it minimizes their issues. Minimizing people's problems is not a nice way to go about convincing people that they don't need to die.

 

[rozeske]

You have a right to your personal opinion. But the permanent solution to a temporary problem argument is objectively bad and minimizes people's problems. Which makes it an inconsiderate opinion.

I'm allowed to criticize it. And that doesn't change because there are lots of members with varied opinions. I'm also not arguing. It's easy to tell when I'm emotional and this is not that. I'm trying to tell you that when you tell people that shit, it minimizes their issues. Minimizing people's problems is not a nice way to go about convincing people that they don't need to die.

I am not minimizing anyones problems in any way. Everyone has different lives different problems and different mentality. which is why I didn't generaliz it by saying everyone. There are kids who took their lifes at the age of 9, 11,12.....they did what they thought was best to end their suffering. But things could definitely have been done to prevent that. I had problems when i was that age, i definitely don't have those problems now which in my case would make them temporary and It would be true for many others aswell.
Am not saying everyone's young age problems are temporary, one could argue the problems they had at the age of 9 and 12 are still the problems they have now, and that would be their reality. It doesn't make their issues untrue or minimal. We all are different and have different mentalities. That is again why i didn't generalize it in my original comment.

I believe suicide is an irreversible permanent act that needs to be though out well and that would be my opinion. One could argue that it's not permanent and that would be their opinion.

We all never agreed to come to this life to bigin with so I believe everyone should have the choice to say enough when it comes to life. When should that time be would depend on that persons particular situation and maturity. Yes we all deserve to be provided with quick and peaceful methods for when we choose to leave. But I can't in good consciousness give a gun to a 9 year old and tell them their issues can't and won't be temporary and that they may aswell end it now. I believe everyone deserves to be given a support system and a chance to have their mind developed enough to see things clearly and make a sound decision and that is my opinion.One could argue against it and that would be their opinion.

 

[BlackMoon]

Mental suffering doesn't have a limit. However, the issues I had in childhood were temporary. Everyone deserves to live long enough to have the freedom to try recovery.

Everyone can't recover. Not all problems are solvables. I wish I had the right to kill myself at 15.