Venting Being neurodivergent is a death sentence. I hate my life.

[Spite]

I have spent countless hours daydreaming about what my life would be like had I have been born neurotypical. Maybe I'd be happy. Maybe I'd have friends. Maybe life would be worth it. Life as an autistic, anxiety-riddled, friendless loser outcast is not worth it. I'm tired of the endless suffering. I've been through so much. I was tormented, bullied and harassed by almost everyone all throughout my school years and I still live with that trauma to this day. I've gone through almost my entire life without a single friend. My social anxiety is horrific and it makes me unable to socialise with others. Almost nobody understands me, and most people don't care. My father hated me from the moment I was born because I'm autistic, and he eventually disowned me. He wanted a 'normal' child, and I wasn't that. I'm sorry I was born a cripplingly autistic fuck-up.

I hardly relate to anyone and I truly feel like I was never meant to be here. I am a punching bag for this world and my life is a joke. People don't take me seriously, people laugh at me, people shun and ignore me and make me feel so invisible and worthless, people are freaked out by me, people like to hurl insults at me, people look down upon me as if I am inferior scum. This world has mistreated me for as long as I have existed in it. Being neurodivergent has destroyed my life, and I hate everyone who has ever mocked me, excluded me, and made me feel worthless just for being myself.

I hate my life.

I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die

 

[darksouls]

society is a vile abomination

 

[thelostautistic]

I'm so sorry for the way you've been treated. It's not fair and you deserve better. Please know you're not alone in this struggle. I'm autistic as well and it sucks

 

[refractiongirl]

don't really have anything too of substance to say, but i resonate with this a lot, being autistic in this society has always left me feeling like a circus animal for people to gawk at my oddities, i truly wish you the best

 

[meiherasayuri]

I understand, the same thing happens to me....

 

[Endisclose]

I can relate to almost every single thing you've said. Life just feels like a sick joke at this point. It feels as though the world is a jungle where the more autistic one is, the lower one finds oneself in the food chain. Its just brutal, excruciatingly painful and feels like one is being eaten alive, hoping and praying that the lights would go out ASAP.