Before or after vacation

[MisterOGBongWater]

Going on a vacation with some friends in the woods first week of August. Part of me doesn't want to even go, it's gonna hurt too bad because me and my ex were supposed to go together. And now everyone's gonna be there with their person but me. I'm just gonnna go and get drunk, I could do that by myself in my room without the physical reminder that I ruined my life and pushed away the only person who thought I was worth while.

I don't want to go. I don't want to look at happy couples. I don't want to be reminded she was supposed to be there with me

I also don't want to ruin everyone's vibe. Bold to assume I'd even matter that much, but I don't wanna be selfish. I know I probably won't. And it would be ridiculous to not just go and do it after. At least I can have a fun time with my friends one last time before I go but, I really just don't want to go and be reminded of everything being fucked.

Maybe one last time with them is what I need before I go. I think it'll help me make peace

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

It might help, you never know. You might have fun! And you'll get to say goodbye

 

[MisterOGBongWater]

It might help, you never know. You might have fun! And you'll get to say goodbye

True. They won't know it's a goodbye but I guess if I can make peace with myself then that's all that really matters.

I'm sure it'll be fun. Overall they're my people and they invited me. So I'm sure it'll be a fun time. But it's tainted now unfortunately. It still serves as a nice get together before I go, whether they realize it or not. So I can be grateful for that. At least I won't die completely alone. Well physically I will, but at least I had one last hurrah. Can't say I'll miss anyone though. This chronic mental anguish isn't worth preventing grief. I would be full of myself to even assume

Whatever. You're right. At least I can say goodbye