Postscript: Night, friend!
People, fucking people, motherfuckers, i despise everyone of them. Each of those fuckers, especially the judgmental ones that try to step in other people's businesses. I had stopped training but nah man these fuckers deserve a fucking punch till my hand is all soaked in blood. No one's getting good, humanity's just filled with animals who covert their true intentions with morals merely to attain some other pleasure they believe in. It's all about self interests, I say go vigilante and fucking pay them ( incomplete sentence ).
I apologize if it comes off as rude or evil but i am honestly just trying to vent on how miserable people make you feel some of the times.
Man i just want a way out but do not want to just end it i suppose, i am over those thoughts now but the environment i am in, the situations i am in just keep messing up with my headspace making things worse. It's like i live on a leash of a sort, I can live, but on the terms of other people. I have been harboring a lot of hate too lately, i get annoyed easily, i feel afraid and anxious most of the time and i am too deep in my addictions to even try something different. What's worse is i have been feeling lonely, but i shrug that feeling off by reminding myself how i chose to be lonely? Although it's most likely i wasn't the one making the decision, the other people were, since i am very very undeserving of care and support. I don't even know how to survive in this society anymore and my brain has like stopped growing ( this is something i always say, so it's not a new thing ).
Anyways, "This too shall pass?" - PAST REFERENCE ( NOTE TO SELF )
Edit: I am scared that things will never be perfect again, so i don't even bother trying. The Embarrassment of failure sort of precedes other things, but each day that passes makes matters worse for me. Gap year makes me feel very inadequate, and that is because i am inadequate.
People, fucking people, motherfuckers, i despise everyone of them. Each of those fuckers, especially the judgmental ones that try to step in other people's businesses. I had stopped training but nah man these fuckers deserve a fucking punch till my hand is all soaked in blood. No one's getting good, humanity's just filled with animals who covert their true intentions with morals merely to attain some other pleasure they believe in. It's all about self interests, I say go vigilante and fucking pay them ( incomplete sentence ).
I apologize if it comes off as rude or evil but i am honestly just trying to vent on how miserable people make you feel some of the times.
Man i just want a way out but do not want to just end it i suppose, i am over those thoughts now but the environment i am in, the situations i am in just keep messing up with my headspace making things worse. It's like i live on a leash of a sort, I can live, but on the terms of other people. I have been harboring a lot of hate too lately, i get annoyed easily, i feel afraid and anxious most of the time and i am too deep in my addictions to even try something different. What's worse is i have been feeling lonely, but i shrug that feeling off by reminding myself how i chose to be lonely? Although it's most likely i wasn't the one making the decision, the other people were, since i am very very undeserving of care and support. I don't even know how to survive in this society anymore and my brain has like stopped growing ( this is something i always say, so it's not a new thing ).
Anyways, "This too shall pass?" - PAST REFERENCE ( NOTE TO SELF )
Edit: I am scared that things will never be perfect again, so i don't even bother trying. The Embarrassment of failure sort of precedes other things, but each day that passes makes matters worse for me. Gap year makes me feel very inadequate, and that is because i am inadequate.
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