ctbcat
Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday & Everyday Is Stupid
- Jul 14, 2023
- 240
... so i got really sick these past two days. this is extremely rare for me - the last time i projectile puked the same way, i literally overdosed, and that was two years ago...
my suicide date is only in just over a week.
i was thinking about how elliot rodger delayed his 'day of retribution' due to a bad cold he got, by a month. i wondered about superstition like that... i'm probably still going to try to ctb anyways - this is only a bug, it should be gone before i have to carry out all the prep. but... ah, it doesn't make anything feel more certain. i thought i'd finally be able to cut things short.
i don't like elliot rodger, duh. i'm just a bit of a true crime fanatic's all (due to autism) so i got reminded of that fact of the case.
everything seems to be going wrong... you could be superstitious, say that means maybe i need to live, et cetera, but i'm so... tired, so hopeless, so everything, and none of these feelings are new. i just want to die. i just want to pass on, not have to deal with all the lifely worries i have, be a spirit or nothing at all. i need to go. i want to cry.
my suicide date is only in just over a week.
i was thinking about how elliot rodger delayed his 'day of retribution' due to a bad cold he got, by a month. i wondered about superstition like that... i'm probably still going to try to ctb anyways - this is only a bug, it should be gone before i have to carry out all the prep. but... ah, it doesn't make anything feel more certain. i thought i'd finally be able to cut things short.
i don't like elliot rodger, duh. i'm just a bit of a true crime fanatic's all (due to autism) so i got reminded of that fact of the case.
everything seems to be going wrong... you could be superstitious, say that means maybe i need to live, et cetera, but i'm so... tired, so hopeless, so everything, and none of these feelings are new. i just want to die. i just want to pass on, not have to deal with all the lifely worries i have, be a spirit or nothing at all. i need to go. i want to cry.
