Back on the site and thinking of ctb again

[hunter_lewis]

Hi,
I was off of this site, because my chronic pain was better, but now I am in worse pain than ever. I am constantly thinking of ctb. I am now desperate because my insurance won't pay for much needed surgery (I live in a socialist country in Europe) and this makes me miserable. Whenever I am on facebook I see happy people getting married, people getting 100k plus per year jobs, or travelling somehwere. I am stuck at home and feel like a loser, I am also a burden on my family.
Is there anyone here who feels the same way? I have no social life left, have gained a ton of weight and am now in daily chronic pain. I cannot live like this.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry you're suffering so.
Looking at facebook isn't a great idea, except for animal-rescue stories and uplifting things like that.
Is it back pain, or ... ? Is being overweight part of what makes it worse? (((Hugs)))

 

[FF777]

facebook doesn't make people feel better.. People post things on there when they are at their best and doing fun things, almost as if to brag to every one else "look what i'm doing!"..

Do you know what caused your chronic pain to worsen?.. I wish there could be a way to mitigate the pain down to the levels it used to be at..

And personally I wouldn't worry about how much of a loser or a burden you are to your family, because you are in enough pain to where you should be thinking of your self first.. You need to take care of your own problems first before you start using your energy to try to worry about other people's lives..

Is there some kind of appeal claim you can make to keep trying to get your insurance to pay for surgery?.. Or is there an option where you can just have the surgery any way and just not pay it afterwards? (not sure how much trouble you would get in, but in some countries I think all they do is keep calling you to try to collect debts)..

And as far as social life, I really don't have any friends in real life, so I use the internet for my socialness.. You could find different types of forums on the internet to post on.. Or for me, I talk to people on real-time chat rooms like Discord or Riot (riot is like an open-source version of discord), although both of those have a lot of young people on them, and not sure what age you are, so the people on there might be too young for you..
Or there are also sites like meetup.com where you find groups of real-life people locally to hang out with (they have tons of different groups you can look at and find groups to join in real life that share interests that you have)..

If nothing else seems to help you though, you can always ctb if you really need to.. I believe if one is suffering with no end in sight, they shouldn't feel ashamed to try to quell their own sufferings..

Either way I hope you can find happiness and peace to some degree and in some form..
Love and light