Help Awesome life that I'm not even living.

[Paradise]

I've been suffering from dissociation and derealization for the past few years.
Things are going stable now, I got a job, have a bf (trouble with that maybe but whatever), friends, travelling opportunities. But I feel just so distance from it all, I feel like I'm wasting the resources. I want to finally feel like I'm really hugging my bf, like I really am in these mountains, like I fucking exist at all.
Any tips for dpdr maybe? I still wanna try at least a bit. It's also an anniversary of my friend's suicide so that might've influenced my thoughts.

 

[MrDarkness]

You might be suffering from severe depression, it's hard to tell since everyone is different, also the death of your friend is affecting you, I'm so sorry you lost a friend, I'm sure they are looking down on you with a smile.