Venting “At least you’re still eating enough”

[willitpass]

I tried talking to my therapist today about how much I'm struggling with my eating disorder right now and how I feel like it's unmanageable. Her response was "well if it's where you aren't necessarily the most happy with your body maybe we can just accept it as it is since you're still eating enough to be healthy. I mean, it could be where you're completely restricting". I want to restrict so fucking bad after hearing that. I've been begging and begging for the last couple of weeks for help with my relapse. I keep getting non-answers and some bullshit like "well you should just know how to use your coping skills". No one is listening to me. I feel like the only way to get help is to straight up stop eating at this point. It's like if I'm eating enough to not drop dead no one wants to help me.

I don't even know what I want anymore. It's not like I want to live. I would rather die. But I can't die while I'm here. I guess the best option is to pretend it's all fine and dandy so I can leave and CTB. I just can't live in a head where everything is against me all the time. I'm dying inside. And the mental healthcare system is a sham.

 

[theboy]

You have the right to change therapists.
Unfortunately people pay attention when you are on the verge of dying.
Your therapist mentions "coping skills", in what sense? coping with what exactly?

 

[sanction]

Personally I've never been to therapy, nor will I ever go

I feel for the most part, it is not effective. It may help for people with MINOR life problems and stress. So can use them for a little boost, to uplift the mood

But if you've reached the stage that you already opened your eyes in this world, and realize how bullshit life is, or have struggles that are beyond "minor", basically the best a therapist can do is just give you some sugar coated supportive "words", which in actual reality, does nothing at all, because they are just "words"

With the internet nowadays, we can probably already find unlimited sugar coated supportive "words" and content to listen to

I feel that at best, a therapist can make you feel better for 24 hours, a few days, or maybe a week, before you naturally resume your actual situation, which is to deal with this meaningless existence that we're stuck in, which we simply can't hide from

In the end, it is still up to us to deal with 99% of our life's problems. They can at most help with 1%, which is to share supportive "words" to hopefully uplift your mood for a temporary period

They are not any real or effective "solution". Just a temporary "mood boosting" service, in return for a paid fee

 

[whyDoesItHurtSoMuch]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're really hurting and trying to ask for help and no one is listening.

I wish I could make things better for you. Please know that even tho I can't fix things, I see you and I hear you and I acknowledge your suffering.

But if you've reached the stage that you already opened your eyes in this world, and realize how bullshit life is, or have struggles that are beyond "minor", basically the best a therapist can do is just give you some sugar coated supportive "words", which in actual reality, does nothing at all, because they are just "words"

I relate to this so much. It's like once the veil is lifted, there's no going back and therapy is not enough.

 

[onthefence]

My therapy is so triggering lately that I lost 90 minutes after the last session and came to in a different place… I want to quit but if I quit I'm probably gonna leave. And leave someone in a very rough spot. They tried having me track food for my ED and I started losing more weight.

 

[sanction]

I relate to this so much. It's like once the veil is lifted, there's no going back and therapy is not enough.

Exactly. In the end, we all come here just to work our asses off and stress about money and survival for many decades, just to get old and decline, and eventually die, after all this invested effort

On top of this, there are endless other stress and things to deal with, in order to maintain our daily lives. For most people, it is 80-90% stress, and only 10-20% of something maybe a little more positive

But even the "positive", isn't even anything that special at all. For example, taking a 30 minute break, while you are working 8 hours at a job. Is that "break", really that special in the end??

For this example, basically if it was a therapist, they would suggest you to focus on the beauty of that "30 minute break", and learn to appreciate it. Which is bullshit

To be honest, probably some "therapist" are struggling themselves too LOL. They are just human. This whole therapy thing is simply just their job and career to make money only. Its not as special as they advertise it to be

But of course is understandable as well, if you may want to give them a try. We're all just stuck on this planet, constantly trying to find answers to this meaningless existence, lol

 

[whyDoesItHurtSoMuch]

Exactly. In the end, we all come here just to work our asses off and stress about money and survival for many decades, just to get old and decline, and eventually die, after all this invested effort

On top of this, there are endless other stress and things to deal with, in order to maintain our daily lives. For most people, it is 80-90% stress and headache stretched over many decades, and only 10-20% of something maybe a little more positive

But even the "positive", isn't even anything that special at all. For example, taking a 30 minute break, while you are working 8 hours at a job. Is that "break", really that special and positive??

For this example, basically if it was a therapist, they would suggest you to focus on the beauty of that "30 minute break", and learn to appreciate it, which in the end is bullshit

To be honest, behind the scenes, probably some "therapist" are struggling themselves too LOL. They are just human. This whole therapy thing is simply just their job and career to make money only. Its not as special as they advertise it to be

But of course is understandable as well, if you may want to give them a try. We're all just stuck on this planet, trying to find answers to this meaningless existence, lol

You're not wrong.

Fortunately, I have seen a movement within the practice of therapy that challenges conventional approaches to therapy. These movements focus more on the context of depression and ideation, removing the onus from the individual and acknowledging that we live in a system that is really screwed up. It deconstructs our notions of what "sane" is and questions who gets to define what is "normal." However, therapists like this are rare and tend to not take insurance, so it's not easy to get an appointment and the appointments are not cheap.