Discussion Ask a mortician.

[mehdone]

Keep those questions coming, folks.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Keep those questions coming, folks.

Hello, first of all, thank you for helping us.

My question is related to the general protocol with the body/corpse after someone identifies it. Hope you can help elucidating this technical/protocol side. I'm trying to make sure the CTB event will be as smothly as posible to my family.

1- if my body is found dead in the hotel room on a Wednesday at noon (checkout time), what path will my body take until my family is called; and 2- what time aprox. will the police or morgue or hospital call my family? Will my family be contacted on wednesday evening or much later?

3-In fact, who would make this call, would it be the coroner? The police? anyone else?

My plan is to take N and leave a letter to my family, a Living Will, a letter to the coroner (i will state that it was suicide and I will also leave the evidence that would be the bottles of N), my prepaid funeral arrengements contacts,my ID and my mother contact number all next to my body.

4- also i'd like to know if all those letters and documents mentionated above will be delivered to my family?

5- im also planning to send an schedulled email to my family, with all documents and letters mentionated above. Do think this option is valid? If positive, for what time and day do you think i should schedule this mail in order to delivery the message at apropriate time, which i guess is right after someone (police/morgue) call my family?


Sorry if those questions are dumb or out of your reach.
Many thanks!

 

[mehdone]

Hello, first of all, thank you for helping us.

My question is related to the general protocol with the body/corpse after someone identifies it. Hope you can help elucidating this technical/protocol side. I'm trying to make sure the CTB event will be as smothly as posible to my family.

1- if my body is found dead in the hotel room on a Wednesday at noon (checkout time), what path will my body take until my family is called; and 2- what time aprox. will the police or morgue or hospital call my family? Will my family be contacted on wednesday evening or much later?

3-In fact, who would make this call, would it be the coroner? The police? anyone else?

My plan is to take N and leave a letter to my family, a Living Will, a letter to the coroner (i will state that it was suicide and I will also leave the evidence that would be the bottles of N), my prepaid funeral arrengements contacts,my ID and my mother contact number all next to my body.

4- also i'd like to know if all those letters and documents mentionated above will be delivered to my family?

5- im also planning to send an schedulled email to my family, with all documents and letters mentionated above. Do think this option is valid? If positive, for what time and day do you think i should schedule this mail in order to delivery the message at apropriate time, which i guess is right after someone (police/morgue) call my family?


Sorry if those questions are dumb or out of your reach.
Many thanks!

First of all- a body does not typically need to be identified by a family member if identification can be clearly established. In other words, if I were to ctb- I would make sure my identification was on my person.

1. If a body was found dead in a hotel room at noon, emergency services would be called. Once they determined that the person was dead, an investigation would start. Photos, etc. Depending on how busy the coroner was, one could expect an hour or so before they arrive. Once documentation is done, the body would be transported to the local coroner's office.

2. If immediate next of kin can be identified, they would likely be contacted same day (late evening after the body has been transported and identified), or potentially, the following day.

3. In my location, it would be the coroner making the call to the next of kin.

4. Letters and documents- they will not be given to those you specify. Good on you for having those plans in place- but beyond the immediate next of kin- you will be dependent on them for distribution of letters.

5. If I were to schedule emails to go out to my loved ones, I would schedule them for the day after I expected to be found. That way I would not be disturbed, and those that loved me would likely already have been notified by the time they get my delayed goodbye.

There are no dumb questions, and I hope I've answered yours.

 

[fantastic_unicorn]

Do you think suicide is ever the answer?

 

[charging station]

Hello. This question is in regards to hanging. From reading this forum, I was under the impression that the idea is that the pressure on the carotid arteries (by rope, etc.) block off the blood supply, which would cause death. Supposedly in like ~10 secs.
However, when researching info on "celebrity" hanging suicides, it seems like the coroner's report states that the death was due to asphyxia. Wouldn't the "cutting off the blood flow" scenario cause a different cause of death?

This one is more for the event if someone gets rescued in their attempt. How common would it be to have structures in the neck collapsing from the full body weight pressuring it (by the hanging). Sorry, tried to look up the names, such as thyroid cartilage, larynx or the trachea?

 

[mehdone]

Do you think suicide is ever the answer?

I think for those that are truly suffering, it may be the answer.
The same goes for avoiding suffering- if I, for example, was diagnosed with something like Alzheimer's, suicide would absolutely be the answer for me, as I don't want to go through that suffering- and I want to die with my memories intact.

Whether or not suicide is the answer for someone is an intensely personal question, and only that person can decide if it is.

 

[mehdone]

Hello. This question is in regards to hanging. From reading this forum, I was under the impression that the idea is that the pressure on the carotid arteries (by rope, etc.) block off the blood supply, which would cause death. Supposedly in like ~10 secs.
However, when researching info on "celebrity" hanging suicides, it seems like the coroner's report states that the death was due to asphyxia. Wouldn't the "cutting off the blood flow" scenario cause a different cause of death?

This one is more for the event if someone gets rescued in their attempt. How common would it be to have structures in the neck collapsing from the full body weight pressuring it (by the hanging). Sorry, tried to look up the names, such as thyroid cartilage, larynx or the trachea?

Keep in mind that I'm not a coroner- but hanging is a restriction of blood flow and oxygen.

According to this:

Hanging Injuries and Strangulation: Practice Essentials

With its relatively small diameter, lack of bony shielding, and close association of the airway, spinal cord, and major vessels, the human neck is uniquely vulnerable to life-threatening injuries. Throughout recorded history, various methods of strangulation (ie, disruption of normal blood and...

emedicine.medscape.com

"In a study of 622 hanging deaths by Tugaleva et al, hyoid and larynx fractures were present in 46 cases (7.3%), with the most common being isolated hyoid fractures. The incidence of cricoid fractures was 0.5%, and the incidence of cervical spine injuries was 1.1%."

My apologies that I can't clearly answer your questions, I am a mortician, and handle the body after death- not a coroner who investigates deaths.

 

[JesiBel]

I'm so grateful for all the information. It will take me some time to read all the pages on the topic, but it's worth it; I've learned a lot. Thank you so much.

 

[death_by_life]

I'm also incredibly grateful for this thread, especially the information about the perils of donating one's body to "science," which was absolutely going to be my choice until I read about it. It's really disappointing to know that it's not really a useable option, but better to find out now than make things that much more gruesome for the folks left behind. I was hoping not to cost anyone any money (I can't actually afford to pay for my own death), so somewhat ironically I'll have to figure out how to live and work long enough to do so. I can't imagine what that looks like. Any advice on the least expensive way to be disposed of are welcome, though I think you've mostly covered that in previous posts.

@mehdone I hope you're doing well and finding your way. A million thanks for your generosity here.

 

[mehdone]

I'm also incredibly grateful for this thread, especially the information about the perils of donating one's body to "science," which was absolutely going to be my choice until I read about it. It's really disappointing to know that it's not really a useable option, but better to find out now than make things that much more gruesome for the folks left behind. I was hoping not to cost anyone any money (I can't actually afford to pay for my own death), so somewhat ironically I'll have to figure out how to live and work long enough to do so. I can't imagine what that looks like. Any advice on the least expensive way to be disposed of are welcome, though I think you've mostly covered that in previous posts.

@mehdone I hope you're doing well and finding your way. A million thanks for your generosity here.

Direct cremation is always going to be the cheapest option. Typically, that will be under $1000.

 

[death_by_life]

Direct cremation is always going to be the cheapest option. Typically, that will be under $1000.

My friend's father and her step father both passed away this year, and their expenses were $4000+ each for cremation and no funeral service. Is there a difference in regional prices, or are there other parts of the process (from the hospital, coroner, ME, etc.) that I'm missing? Thank you!

 

[mehdone]

My friend's father and her step father both passed away this year, and their expenses were $4000+ each for cremation and no funeral service. Is there a difference in regional prices, or are there other parts of the process (from the hospital, coroner, ME, etc.) that I'm missing? Thank you!

There is absolutely no reason cremation with no services should cost that much.

If price, rather than level of service is a concern- I would advise folks to shop around. I know that with a death of a loved one there may not be the energy to do that during the grieving process- in that case I would ask a friend to call around for you.

For one's self, you have the luxury of pre-planning. I've gone over this in other posts in this thread, but essentially- picking your own mortuary, your own arrangements, and prepaying for them.

 

[timechained]

What's your story?

 

[death_by_life]

There is absolutely no reason cremation with no services should cost that much.

If price, rather than level of service is a concern- I would advise folks to shop around. I know that with a death of a loved one there may not be the energy to do that during the grieving process- in that case I would ask a friend to call around for you.

For one's self, you have the luxury of pre-planning. I've gone over this in other posts in this thread, but essentially- picking your own mortuary, your own arrangements, and prepaying for them.

Okay, thank you. I really appreciate your response!

 

[always_sad]

I don't really have any questions to ask. However thank you for your work.

 

[scientificmethid]

If you go out with an exit bag (nitrogen) will your face be disfigured like CO poisoning? Of just look like you fell asleep? @mehdone thanks so much for your input on these.

 

[mehdone]

And somehow, I am still alive- I persist.
Despite the suicide attempts.
Despite the choosing to live and then (and now) fighting cancer.
I am so very tired.
But I am still here, so keep those questions coming.

 

[scientificmethid]

And somehow, I am still alive- I persist.
Despite the suicide attempts.
Despite the choosing to live and then (and now) fighting cancer.
I am so very tired.
But I am still here, so keep those questions coming.

If you go out with an exit bag (nitrogen) will your face be disfigured like CO poisoning? Of just look like you fell asleep? @mehdone thanks so much for your input on these.

 

[mehdone]

If you go out with an exit bag (nitrogen) will your face be disfigured like CO poisoning? Of just look like you fell asleep? @mehdone thanks so much for your input on these.

In theory, it should just present as asphyxiation.

Please keep in mind that I am a mortician, not a coroner.

 

[Carrot]

Did you encounter anybody that died from SN? Anything interesting, special about it?

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Hi,
Apologies if this has been asked, I'm too time poor to read every page.
This will probably sound weird or vain or both.
I'm an atheist that mostly has no regard to what happens to my body afterwards.
Buuttttt, also, a lifelong eating disorder, combined with the fact there will most likely be a viewing of me.
I am female, planned method SN.
I want to choose the clothes for the viewing.
Will my body shrink or swell?
Particularly breasts & stomach.
So if I had to breathe in now to do up pants, are they ruled out?
With breasts, do you yoink them into position?
Should I choose what is easy to put on before death?
Or allow more space because of bloating?
Are zips good or bad?
Anything to do with clothing & body shape before versus after is of real interest.
This is my one weird vanity thing - I don't care in the slightest about hair or makeup, or about how I look at all, except for how it's tied up in the trauma of weight obsession. And I don't trust anyone else to choose clothes for me, & I know how difficult it is to do as well.
I am too sensitive / weak to google anything on the subject of death, in any way.
And I've seen dead people, but only at time of passing & thereabouts - noone I know has done open casket, & I wouldn't have been able to look if they had. I won't have open casket but I expect that people will see me at the funeral home. I can't believe that weight is still a big deal to me in death, but that's trauma for you, it doesn't need to make sense, I guess.
I hope you can help, I'd really thoroughly appreciate it.
Thanks

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

What is the protocol for those that adhere to religious groups that are against autopsy? Orthodox Jews, some sects of Islam etc.

Is there any type of pre-death legal documentation a person can set up to prevent autopsy even in the event of a suspicious death/suicide?

If a person left a suicide note that said "do not autopsy under threat of the curse of the mummy" would that discourage the coroner?

 

[Carrot]

What is the protocol for those that adhere to religious groups that are against autopsy? Orthodox Jews, some sects of Islam etc.

Is there any type of pre-death legal documentation a person can set up to prevent autopsy even in the event of a suspicious death/suicide?

If a person left a suicide note that said "do not autopsy under threat of the curse of the mummy" would that discourage the coroner?

Not OP, I don't know, interesting question.

Theoretically you could murder somebody and leave a note like that, making it harder to discover. I don't know the laws.

 

[mehdone]

Did you encounter anybody that died from SN? Anything interesting, special about it?

Yes. Please see my earlier replies to this thread regarding SN. Discoloration is the main concern.

Will my body shrink or swell?

Visually, both are possible. Swelling is a concern depending on manner of death and time before being found, etc.
Your body will not shrink, however, muscles relax and this can distort your natural look.

Particularly breasts & stomach.
So if I had to breathe in now to do up pants, are they ruled out?

They are not ruled out. If necessary? We can always make a small cut with scissors at the back of the pants. We are used to altering or adjusting clothing to make someone look their best.

With breasts, do you yoink them into position?

If one is being embalmed, they may be taped or strapped into position during the embalming process.

Should I choose what is easy to put on before death?
Or allow more space because of bloating?
Are zips good or bad?

I would suggest choosing whatever you want to be buried or cremated in, with no thought towards what is easy to put on, or what may be too small or large due to circumstances. We will make it work. Zippers are neither good nor bad, although, they are easier to do up than trying to do buttons with gloves on.

Anything to do with clothing & body shape before versus after is of real interest.

Keep in mind that in the case of suicide, a decedent will go to the coroner first, for an autopsy. The coroner may simply cut the clothes the decedent was wearing at the time of death. The clothing worn at the time of death will likely be soiled.

When you arrive at the funeral home, you will typically be naked. We will then dress you.

What is the protocol for those that adhere to religious groups that are against autopsy? Orthodox Jews, some sects of Islam etc.

Is there any type of pre-death legal documentation a person can set up to prevent autopsy even in the event of a suspicious death/suicide?

If a person left a suicide note that said "do not autopsy under threat of the curse of the mummy" would that discourage the coroner?

No. In the event of a suspicious or unexpected death, there is typically a legal obligation to do an autopsy in most jurisdictions.

 

[Kadaver]

Hello! I've read most this thread but I was wondering about the autopsy. I really don't want to be cut open at all. Is that something I could put into a legally binding will?

You mentioned dealing with suicides; I'm a failure at life and a disappointment to my family. Have you ever had a case where someone seemed to be going through that as well? How did the families react in that case?

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

Thank you so much, that was so very helpful.
Eating disordered brains, trauma brains, it's not always about the rational, it's about the damage. My mother has been dead for many years, but it is for her that I am choosing the outfit. I might provide 2 options & let the morticians pick what's easiest. The points about gloves & buttons hadn't occurred to me, or cutting the clothing. I've always put such obsessive care into providing clothing to funeral homes, when I could have maybe been more relaxed. It is very strange to me to write that I am choosing outfits to please or impress someone who has been dead for so long - part of my brain ridicules it for being ridiculous, the other sees it as inevitable - I fought for her approval in life & did not get it, yet still trying.
Imagine if healthcare provided access to all the cutting edge therapies that can fix all that - not the talk therapy stuff - but trauma specific, brain rewiring stuff. I wonder who I would be without trauma but can't picture it.
I really appreciate your time. Thank you.

 

[Britney Spears]

I hope you can answer my question. I'm very afraid of autopsies. My method is SN, and I'm afraid, since there have been few cases, but they have happened in my country, Spain. I'm afraid that I'm not completely dead and that they declare a false or apparent death, or that I'm in a state of catalepsy with NS. I think you know what it's about, since I don't know how NS will affect my body and that they might perform an autopsy while I'm still alive in that state, or that they might declare me dead by mistake. It terrifies me. I'm very afraid. Also, NS has a time limit for it to take effect, but it depends on each person. I know they check your vital signs before sending you to the morgue, but they should do an EEG and EKG before declaring me dead, right?.
I know they often don't and just assume they're dead when they might not be. Here in Spain, doctors are very clumsy, and the few cases where someone has been declared dead by mistake and woken up in the morgue before being opened alive have happened here. That's why l'm so afraid of what could happen to me with SN.
Also, in catalepsy, if they did an autopsy, there wouldn't be any signs, since l'd be practically dead, but l'd feel all the pain. I'm terrified.
I don't know what to think. Could this happen to me with SN? Could they leave me in catalepsy or something like that?
Could they send me to the morgue presumed dead, but still alive?
Also, in my situation, I wouldn't have much time, only a maximum of 4 or 5 hours with SN.
Could I add a note so that when they find out, they'll do an electrocardiogram and an electroencephalogram? Or would the doctors just assume I'm dead and skip it?

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I've come back with another question, because you were so helpful. I had a solid plan for who to find me & where & when, but things are changing & now I'm not so sure.
When people die, how long is it normally before the body is found?
And how bad a state is the body?
I guess that's one way of getting out of open casket. Obviously, temperature is a factor, but I don't know if my bus is coming in summer or winter & unsure of being in control of thermostat, with these unforeseen new changes.
Could be 9 degrees, could be 39 degrees, most likely somewhere in the middle, just unsure.
How long til people would complain? Or bugs infest?
My old plan was solid & I'm really affected by that now being out of reach - I need to lock down a new plan to feel more in control. I do still have a plan on not having a civilian find me, that has stayed a priority & within my control & I am grateful for that.