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ForeverLonely82

ForeverLonely82

Experienced
Dec 22, 2021
209
As a married man, mine isn't worth living either. Single or married. this time line is hell as people are demons, no one gives a damn about the lonely or depressed. expect to go through it alone and never experience the joy or happiness the lucky get to achieve. Those people reach out and get the help needed. the rest of us are in our heads too much just wishing for the mercy to be erased from this hell hole of a existence.
 
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C

ConstantPain

Sorry but cats are so much better than people
Jun 9, 2022
286
I'm not sure if I can help with this or not but as someone who gave up a long term positive relationship in order to become a hermit, completely isolated from everyone, my view of loneliness is somewhat different. I'm not sure if I will remain alone forever or not, but I know that I only want to change it if the relationship is better than the alternative of being alone, and I don't believe most relationships I've seen are. The fantasy version is really not far off what I had. But she wanted kids and I didn't. Where can it go from there? Most relationships I know, they're fighting constantly. I'd definitely rather be alone than that. I don't really know many relationships like the fairy tales.
I wish I had the strength and energy to turn into a hermit. I'm still married to an alcoholic and the things he says and does make me wish to be single. Today he stood me up on our anniversary to go get hammered instead. At least we've always agreed to not having children! But, being in a relationship isn't always what's best for a person. I loved living by myself and if I could afford to I would. Other than death, it would be the most peacefulness I could have in this world.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
701
I'm not sure if I can help with this or not but as someone who gave up a long term positive relationship in order to become a hermit, completely isolated from everyone, my view of loneliness is somewhat different. I'm not sure if I will remain alone forever or not, but I know that I only want to change it if the relationship is better than the alternative of being alone, and I don't believe most relationships I've seen are. The fantasy version is really not far off what I had. But she wanted kids and I didn't. Where can it go from there? Most relationships I know, they're fighting constantly. I'd definitely rather be alone than that. I don't really know many relationships like the fairy tales.
Completely understand this. It resonates with me so much. Most of my relationships ended because I don't want kids and the people around me are in far far different relationships than what fairy tales like to portray
 
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vitbar

vitbar

Escaped Lunatic
Jun 4, 2023
493
ironically you won't find the solid match of you don't date meaning you'd have to be in a relationship to find out.
I should have explained better. Previously I'd take more risks and hope for the best when getting into romantic entanglements. I'd have to be more certain of potential now.

Experience has made me choosier, and realise I'd rather be single than in a bad/mediocre pairing.
 
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usernamesarehard

usernamesarehard

Life sucks and then you die
Dec 22, 2021
156
As a woman I completely understand you. I just got broken up with. I'm trying to get out there and find a guy I like. I'm on tinder and have a ton of matches, but barely talk to anyone. I think my plan will be to ctb when I'm 28 if things don't change. I've lived most of my life friendless and now dealing with the want for a partner is too much. I'm tired. Just woke up from a dream about my ex. I've also had a dream about a girl I was in 'love' with due to limerence.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,878
As a woman I completely understand you. I just got broken up with. I'm trying to get out there and find a guy I like. I'm on tinder and have a ton of matches, but barely talk to anyone. I think my plan will be to ctb when I'm 28 if things don't change. I've lived most of my life friendless and now dealing with the want for a partner is too much. I'm tired. Just woke up from a dream about my ex. I've also had a dream about a girl I was in 'love' with due to limerence.
@usernamesarehard Enoronmous Virtual hug. Being single gets so much harder as you get older. Ageing parents, and people you grew up with getting married and building their own families.

There is no support for single people government policies are always targeted for couples and people with kids. When I read advice online to cope with being single its so unhelpful with NO practical coping strategies whereas advice for couples is always helpful because majority can relete to couples problems and can give better advice and solutions.

I dont want to deal with this for another 10 years. For me at 28 being single all my life feels like a lifetime.
Completely understand this. It resonates with me so much. Most of my relationships ended because I don't want kids and the people around me are in far far different relationships than what fairy tales like to portray
@davidtorez I am on the antinatalist spectrum because I do believe bringing children into this world is exposing a generation to future suffering. The only way suffering can end is everyone stops reproducing. Realistically that will never happen.

Child free people do have it hard with dating.
I wish I had the strength and energy to turn into a hermit. I'm still married to an alcoholic and the things he says and does make me wish to be single. Today he stood me up on our anniversary to go get hammered instead. At least we've always agreed to not having children! But, being in a relationship isn't always what's best for a person. I loved living by myself and if I could afford to I would. Other than death, it would be the most peacefulness I could have in this world.
@ConstantPain Virtual hug 🫂 You deserved so much better. Living with a monster is not living.
As a married man, mine isn't worth living either. Single or married. this time line is hell as people are demons, no one gives a damn about the lonely or depressed. expect to go through it alone and never experience the joy or happiness the lucky get to achieve. Those people reach out and get the help needed. the rest of us are in our heads too much just wishing for the mercy to be erased from this hell hole of a existence.
@ForeverLonely82 Society tells you to reach out when you are depressed but the minute you do everyone treats you like an inconvenience to their normal lives.
people underestimate just how much the mental torture of being alone can put one person through. i relate, a lot. everything nice and fun feels hollow because im the only person enjoying it. it's meaningless. all of it. there's no joy for me if i can't share it with someone i deeply care about. having a real connection means the world to me but im no position to seek it out anymore or sustain it.
@encore I have had life experiences most people never get to have in their lifetimes.

At 25 years old in January 2023 I saw the most beautiful sunrise during a flight. I woke up to go to the toliet and I saw the most beautiful sunset from the plane window. I looked on the screen on the plane seat and the plane was flying through Khartoum which is captial of Sudan.

At 27 years old last year I was in Malta and spent my afternoon swimming in the Mediterranean sea during a day trip to Cumo Bay. So much more I have seen and done.

Still I crave for a man to love me and want me. I go out to places and travel but nowadays none of it gives me pleasure because I want a relationship now more than anything. Its left an enormous hole which can no longer be filled.
Holy crap did I write this myself? I am too a single woman. My mother and aunt are my ROCKS and the only people I am living for. Once they are gone I will honestly have nothing. No one to text me "good morning sweetie" or "good night love you xoxo" every single day. I text them constantly and idk wtf I will do when they are gone. I think I will finally have the courage to CTB when one of them passes. Right now I just can't bear to hurt them.

I am older than you and have only been on 1 date in my entire life and never had a boyfriend. It stems from self hatred as I feel I am not pretty enough or good enough for a guy to ever actually be interested in me. I always hoped I'd find someone who would be my best friend and have the unconditional love that I have with my family with but I've given up on that. As morbid as it sounds I wish I could convince my mom or aunt to CTB with me and all 3 of us go out together.

All in all, I am so sorry you feel this way but just know you are not alone. I completely understand what you mean.

@anonymousperson People tell me my time is coming it no longer feels that way anymore. At 18 I thought I would be in a relationship like everyone else it didn't happen for me. When I was doing my undergraduate university I thought I would be in a relationship like everyone else it didn't happen for me now as a postgraduate I am still experiencing being unsuccessful with guys at university.

At 28 I have no man still. 30s and 40s will not be any different because its harder.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,238
I feel you
Loneliness embraces. It submerges you like a fish in water. Keep swimming like a lonely shark
People come and go like waves of the sea
 
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gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
461
I'm a 28 y/o woman too, and I know how lonely this age can feel, especially when the life you imagined hasn't quite come together the way you'd hoped.
I truly believe that loneliness isn't always about needing someone else. It took me a long time to realise that learning to love and show up for myself, the way I wish someone else would, is often the first step. That doesn't mean giving up on love or pretending you don't want connection. It means recognising your own worth even when others fail to see it.

And I know how bitter it can feel to always be the one giving...giving your time, your care, your kindness and getting hurt or overlooked in return. It can twist your heart into thinking that something's wrong with you. But rejection isn't proof of your unlovability. Sometimes it's just proof that those people weren't capable of loving in the way you deserve.

Something that helped me in the past was getting a companion! A pet. It sounds small, but their love is so sincere, and they remind you that you are needed and capable of nurturing love every day. It doesn't replace the kind of intimacy you're longing for, but it does offer a connection that's real and comforting. It also taught me to take better care of myself.

I know you've probably heard all this shit before. Regardless, I wish you the best.
 
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gottacheckout

gottacheckout

Specialist
May 20, 2025
301
I have a friend that I camp with and will take the ex wife once a year or so. But my constant companion is the Lunatic, what would you expect a COB to name his dog, Luna for short. She loves to camp, she loves to hike, she loves her sxs, she loves her motorcycle, and most of all she loves me. She never complains, is content with one s'more, and snuggles in to sleep at night.
 
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usernamesarehard

usernamesarehard

Life sucks and then you die
Dec 22, 2021
156
Enoronmous Virtual hug. Being single gets so much harder as you get older. Ageing parents, and people you grew up with getting married and building their own families.

There is no support for single people government policies are always targeted for couples and people with kids. When I read advice online to cope with being single its so unhelpful with NO practical coping strategies whereas advice for couples is always helpful because majority can relete to couples problems and can give better advice and solutions.

I dont want to deal with this for another 10 years. For me at 28 being single all my life feels like a lifetime.
Thank you! Hugs to you too!

I guess the 2 things I'm worried about are not being able to afford a house and being completely alone. I have a friend and I'm planning on going out to make more in the hopes of fixing my social anxiety, but even if I have tons of friends and I hangout with someone every day, nothing is as good as knowing you have someone to go home to and cuddle with.

I'm mostly choosing 28 because most good guys are taken in their 20s. That's not to say no good men exist in their 30s, but I think most good guys in their 30s who are single have already been divorced or went through a really bad break up, so they're choosing to stay single.

Also yeah, there isn't really any good coping strategies. I think part of it is normal people are able to get relationships whenever they want, so the idea that there are people who want a relationship, but can't have one is a foreign concept to them. And part of it is people have become so antisocial and independent that they don't want relationships and have found happiness without a partner and so they try to push that on other people.

I'm not saying a partner will/should make you happy, but not having one can definitely make you sad.
I have had life experiences most people never get to have in their lifetimes.
At 25 years old in January 2023 I saw the most beautiful sunrise during a flight. I woke up to go to the toliet and I saw the most beautiful sunset from the plane window. I looked on the screen on the plane seat and the plane was flying through Khartoum which is captial of Sudan.

At 27 years old last year I was in Malta and spent my afternoon swimming in the Mediterranean sea during a day trip to Cumo Bay. So much more I have seen and done.

Still I crave for a man to love me and want me. I go out to places and travel but nowadays none of it gives me pleasure because I want a relationship now more than anything. Its left an enormous hole which can no longer be filled.
This is another reason I want to force myself to ctb by 28. I know I can go out and do things and have fun experiences. I can travel the country or even the world, but no matter whag that unhappiness from not having a partner WILL come back.

Good luck with everything. Until last year when I met my ex I was hopelessly depressed that I might never get a partner and constantly felt like I was an ugly monster because no one was interested. Being single not because you want to be but because you're forced to be is hell.
 
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