Are you the friend in constant crisis?

[Pryras]

It's been a constant crisis for me for the past 8 years. It's hard to make friends when your existence and life experience makes people uncomfortable. I find it hard to relate to others and be lighthearted when my life is so chaotic and depressing. I've tried faking a smile and pretending I'm ok but it feels so meaningless and makes me more depressed.

 

[Grumpy Frog]

I don't have any friends because of it. I am always in crisis it seems.

I tried having a friend again after I had none and it was not good. I mean she was a high school friend who I didn't talk to again until I met her in the back of an ambulance from an episode. She reached out to me and we tried hanging out a few times. It was just awkward. I had nothing to talk about except my decling mental state and recent hospital visits so I was mostly silent. Also she was laughing saying she wanted to take a picture of my medical chart because something in it was funny. I don't want my mental health laughed about, I don't want that part seen ever again by new people because when it was fully exposed it was "funny".

I can't have friends when I am like this, unless someone was here from the beginning they won't accept/understand me unless I was better.

 

[metothemoon]

Sad but true My friend said: "you are the definition of crisis". I find it hard to open up, because I do not want to bother anyone.. But are longing for a chat now and then.
I just try and pretend to be okay(ish) and hang out with friends. Doesn't solve my feelings though..