Discussion Are you scared to fail your attempt ?

[charlieee]

I have been planning for just a few days now and idk, slowly I am realizing that there is always a chance for you to fail, and that though chills me.
How do you deal with it ?

 

[Forveleth]

I have failed twice. Did not bother me a bit other than the irritation of waking up still alive.

 

[CarbonBased]

I have failed twice. Did not bother me a bit other than the irritation of waking up still alive.

I think the OPs concerns are about surviving, but getting a disability as a result of the attempt, or being found out and having to deal with all the things that that might entail, or something of that kind. The experience of surviving an attempt even without any physical pain or damage could still be traumatic psychologically, but I don't think it's anyone's main concern

 

[charlieee]

I have failed twice. Did not bother me a bit other than the irritation of waking up still alive.

Well that made me feel better.
I am just scared of the reaction of my family and friends. Don't have a lot of important people around but I luckily have some.
If I were alone I feel like it wouldn't bother me a bit.
Being a failure, even in death, in their eyes would really be the worst part.

 

[CarbonBased]

I have been planning for just a few days now and idk, slowly I am realizing that there is always a chance for you to fail, and that though chills me.
How do you deal with it ?

I'm not really sure why, but I don't really feel anxious about what might happen. Somehow, I feel disconnected enough from that hypothetical future me to be able to disregard their suffering. I also like to think that on a cosmic scale whether I live a 100 years of pure euphoria or pure torture doesn't really matter. We are all nothing in the face of the universe. I won't be surprised if you don't really find this helpful, but who knows

 

[charlieee]

I'm not really sure why, but I don't really feel anxious about what might happen. Somehow, I feel disconnected enough from that hypothetical future me to be able to disregard their suffering. I also like to think that on a cosmic scale whether I live a 100 years of pure euphoria or pure torture doesn't really matter. We are all nothing in the face of the universe. I won't be surprised if you don't really find this helpful, but who knows

It is helpful, thank you :)

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

By having a backup method ready to go if I'm in any way able to use it.

 

[charlieee]

By having a backup method ready to go if I'm in any way able to use it.

Wait that's actually a good idea

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Wait that's actually a good idea

Yup. Failure isn't an option for me, so I'll be going one way or the other.

 

[LXR515]

i have a huge of fear of ending up worse if I attempt and it doesn't work, so both of my methods are extremely overkill once I have them

 

[LilGhost]

I have been planning for just a few days now and idk, slowly I am realizing that there is always a chance for you to fail, and that though chills me.
How do you deal with it ?

Most definetly. Failed.... Like 3 times. One time with pills (was 15 and stupid. Didnt know aspirin cant rlly kill you. Ended going through big pain for days and was throwing up a lot). Two times with a rope. First time gave me a ghost feeling of a rope around my neck (like, id get to feel not enough air, like im choking and shit for months), second terrible migarines for like weeks, as well as headaches, neck stiff and shit like that (Almost failed finals due to that lovely fact)

Tried partial hanging few days ago, but I dont rlly consider it as an attempt as I am ctbing soon anyway and that one was just impulsive "practise"
I am planning on using plan B-bridge if i fail to find a sweet spot again.

It does give me chills as it could actually leave me vegetable or severly disabled.
Answering how do I deal with it: i go "fuck it and go". 99% of gamblers quit right before winning big. I try to avoid jumping as it has highest (out of all my accessible variants) chance of leaving me paralyzed. Also... Just the longer I live, more blunt the world feels. I just want some peace. And... just at this point numbness wins and my legs are slowly giving up anyway and considering I barely have a way out, if i fail to get out soon, it will worth a shot

 

[isthisthingon]

i have a huge of fear of ending up worse if I attempt and it doesn't work, so both of my methods are extremely overkill once I have them

Which methods?

 

[LXR515]

Either firearm or jumping (gonna travel to Grand Canyon if my gun application gets debied)

 

[charlieee]

Most definetly. Failed.... Like 3 times. One time with pills (was 15 and stupid. Didnt know aspirin cant rlly kill you. Ended going through big pain for days and was throwing up a lot). Two times with a rope. First time gave me a ghost feeling of a rope around my neck (like, id get to feel not enough air, like im choking and shit for months), second terrible migarines for like weeks, as well as headaches, neck stiff and shit like that (Almost failed finals due to that lovely fact)

Tried partial hanging few days ago, but I dont rlly consider it as an attempt as I am ctbing soon anyway and that one was just impulsive "practise"
I am planning on using plan B-bridge if i fail to find a sweet spot again.

It does give me chills as it could actually leave me vegetable or severly disabled.
Answering how do I deal with it: i go "fuck it and go". 99% of gamblers quit right before winning big. I try to avoid jumping as it has highest (out of all my accessible variants) chance of leaving me paralyzed. Also... Just the longer I live, more blunt the world feels. I just want some peace. And... just at this point numbness wins and my legs are slowly giving up anyway and considering I barely have a way out, if i fail to get out soon, it will worth a shot

Well first I am sorry for your failed attempts. I admire your dedication honesty.
I wish you good luck in your next attempt or in whatever you decide to do next.

 

[CarbonBased]

By having a backup method ready to go if I'm in any way able to use it.

joke + trigger warning
I was thinking of taking SN, getting a Black Mamba to bite me, then slitting my wrists, tying a bag over my head, then jumping off of a building right into a pit of fire all while having an explosive vest around me with a timer set to a few seconds. Surely, one of these methods is ought to work

 

[isthisthingon]

For me the the thought of failure is the highest realm of my survival instinct. It always end on the "what if we survive?" Back to the ward again? Pushes me even farther into isolation? My SI knows exactly what to say. He's a bitch.

 

[SomewhereNew]

I would say so because that means I lose my job and then everything after that. Then what I am homeless and also suicidal

 

[burninghill]

I'm scared of failing but in the sense of backing out. It's sort of hard to fail train decapitation unless you somehow do something horrifically wrong.

 

[peacebenow]

Failure Is not an option for me which makes it that much more necessary for precision. Trying figure out how not to get caught too early currently.

 

[charlieee]

For me the the thought of failure is the highest realm of my survival instinct. It always end on the "what if we survive?" Back to the ward again? Pushes me even farther into isolation? My SI knows exactly what to say. He's a bitch.

Same I hate that mf with every ounce of my being

I would say so because that means I lose my job and then everything after that. Then what I am homeless and also suicidal

Damn well I hope you will succeed, anyway there is various ways to ctb that have a pretty decent success rate. From the replies, having backup plans, finding a spot where you won't be found to soon and trying methods beforehand are the keys to ensure all odds are on your side.
Wishing you the best of luck <3

 

[Ilfryth]

Other than still being alive and having to deal with people around me finding out, I wouldn't care at all. At the point where I am getting brain damage or a disability won't make things much worse. The only downside is maybe not being able to try again

 

[Oiled Sandwich]

The Euphoria from finally being able to rest has surpassed my fear of not succeeding. At least, at the moment it has. This WILL happen one way or another.

 

[franos666]

I am not afraid. I think my plan is highly effective

 

[DeadManLiving]

No.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I really would be, I find it horrific how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse torture and suffering as a result in this torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

The fact that humans make it illegal to die painlessly with no more pain and no more suffering is just so evil to me, all that anti-suicide people want is for others to be tortured in this terrible, dreadful existence for as much and as long as possible, I always suffer so much from existing in this horrific prison world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

 

[nitrogenous]

I am scared to be left in agonising physical pain and left at a vegetative state where my abusers can legally just choose what they want to do about me and my treatment, so yes.

 

[yukisopathetic]

yes that terrifies me. like the thought of being alive but a vegetable or disabled. or being left in a worse state and unable to try again.