Discussion Are you happy knowing you gonna go soon?

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm faced with two thoughts that are helping:

1. I had ECT about ten years ago. It worked until a few months ago. The worst part of it was sticking out my arm for the anaesthetic needle (I have a big fear of needles!). What got me through that was knowing that I'm soon be drifting off painlessly... three times a week. That's what I'll be reminding myself soon.

2. I used to work all over the world. I always only researched the cultures as much as I needed and left the rest up to adventure. Hell is my next destination. I know my destiny and I know it won't be pleasant but I'm choosing it and I'm just warped enough to see it like another adventure.

 

[Krash1990]

Not happy by any means... but it feels peaceful to realize that my suffering will be over soon.

 

[ebt88]

To me is sad very sad to end like this. But I feel I must do it I have no choice . I tell myself it's like going to sleep, which is the thing I try to do the most of my time now.

 

[Lethe]

Yes, I'm completely at peace with it at this point.

 

[justanotherperson]

I guess I am happy, but I feel bad about it. Eventually I'll be forgotten whatever way I pass.

 

[rikamonie]

before i wouldve said no because i didnt want to die i just wanted my pain to end, but now after some time ive accepted it, im now looking forward to ending my pain because the pain in my heart has become so much worse and i know for sure it wont go away

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I wouldn't say it makes me happy, but it does provide temporary relief when I'm feeling really anxious or depressed. The knowledge that if things get truly unbearable I can end it has helped me get through some difficult moments.

 

[Eternity04]

Yes and i hope i dont fail

 

[Darksektori]

Not really but I'll be happy after I go

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yup. Lot of relief. I see it like this: You're locked up in a room and there's a closed door. The room is "life" and the door is "suicide". There's a watch on the wall. When you don't want to be in that room you open the door and go to the nothingness. Outside it's all dark.

 

[StillWaiting]

Knowing that I will no longer need to suffer makes me realize it is the only way out for me.
Holding onto this life has been nothing but a terrifying experience

 

[Darksektori]

I would like to believe I won't get a punishment for ending my life due to my constant suffer. Otherwise I don't care.
I think to most people the pure idea of dying is too odd. I don't care what others want for me. I only care what I want for myself. And it is the right to die with dignity, hopefully one day this crazy world will know what that means.

"Crazy world" is an understatement, it will remain ignorant long after we've gone form it, I fear.