Are you desensitized to when a member passes?

[Deleted member 1465]

Just the opposite. For someone who has never had friends, I have made them here. I have experienced here for the first time pain and loss.

That's really sad Jean. Sometimes I get caught in my own tragedy and forget I once had friends. Yes it's so odd to make friends in a place like this knowing you may lose them.
Life really is so unbelievably strange. I've never had faith but sometimes I do wonder if something is fecking with us all.

 

[Jean4]

That's really sad Jean. Sometimes I get caught in my own tragedy and forget I once had friends. Yes it's so odd to make friends in a place like this knowing you may lose them.
Life really is so unbelievably strange. I've never had faith but sometimes I do wonder if something is fecking with us all.

I'm 51. If I met some of these people in the real world, my life may have been different and I wouldn't want to CTB.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Just the opposite. For someone who has never had friends, I have made them here. I have experienced here for the first time pain and loss.

Yes... Jean, you sound like a beautiful person. Don't know how anybody could pass up a friendship with you.

 

[Rachel74]

I feel pain and loss when I lose someone from here, especially someone I've messaged with.

 

[Jean4]

Yes... Jean, you sound like a beautiful person. Don't know how anybody could pass up a friendship with you.

Thanks. I guess some of us were dealt a bad hand. I never understood why a rat bastard can have a good life, but if you try to be nice and follow the rules, you end up on SS lol.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I feel pain and loss when I lose someone from here, especially someone I've messaged with.

Me too, for sure... It's tough.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm 51. If I met some of these people in the real world, my life may have been different and I wouldn't want to CTB.

Yes... Jean, you sound like a beautiful person. Don't know how anybody could pass up a friendship with you.

I concur. Not just saying. I mean it. Love the Deadpool avatar too.

 

[Rachel74]

I'm 51. If I met some of these people in the real world, my life may have been different and I wouldn't want to CTB.

That is so true

I concur. Not just saying. I mean it. Love the Deadpool avatar too.

We have both become great friends on here U

 

[Woodnote]

I'm 51. If I met some of these people in the real world, my life may have been different and I wouldn't want to CTB.

That's so true. I've never had real friends until I made some here. So I've met and lost some of very first friends. I wonder if things would've been different If I had known some of them in real life.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I guess you may find your friends in the oddest of places. It doesn't get much odder than here.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I guess you may find your friends in the oddest of places. It doesn't get much odder than here.

As odd as it may be, we have a true family among the tortured souls of SS.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm generally jealous, as I want to die all day every day, and just enduring life so I don't hurt my family. Even though I am saying goodbye to them of late and saying I might decide to CTB.

If I was not so low myself and hopeless, I'm sure I'd feel sad. But in my state, my main reaction is "how did they do it?"

I hope everyone who has ctb has found more peace.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I'm generally jealous, as I want to die all day every day, and just enduring life so I don't hurt my family. Even though I am saying goodbye to them of late and saying I might decide to CTB.

If I was not so low myself and hopeless, I'm sure I'd feel sad. But in my state, my main reaction is "how did they do it?"

I hope everyone who has ctb has found more peace.

I can understand this completely. So sorry you feel this way. x

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm generally jealous, as I want to die all day every day, and just enduring life so I don't hurt my family. Even though I am saying goodbye to them of late and saying I might decide to CTB.

If I was not so low myself and hopeless, I'm sure I'd feel sad. But in my state, my main reaction is "how did they do it?"

I hope everyone who has ctb has found more peace.

I get that. I've discovered it's possible to feel some very complex and conflicting emotions.

 

[Sweet emotion]

To be honest nothing affects me anymore. Like when actors or musicians died people got all upset. I just couldn't understand because how can you get upset about a person dying that you didn't even know? If people die on here I wouldn't be sad because I'd know that they are out of their misery. Of course I would miss them and feel bad that their life was so awful that it had to come down to this, but I'd be happy their attempt worked and they're in peace.

 

[kkatt]

Being quite close to so many suicides;especially people that have become very close to me;has definitely desensitised me.
It's not that you stop caring at all. I still cry for certain people I was very close to.
But I just have to remind myself;all those people who say suicide is selfish;are they not the selfish ones insisting that life must be lived to the last gasp?

 

[Jean4]

To be honest nothing affects me anymore. Like when actors or musicians died people got all upset. I just couldn't understand because how can you get upset about a person dying that you didn't even know? If people die on here I wouldn't be sad because I'd know that they are out of their misery. Of course I would miss them and feel bad that their life was so awful that it had to come down to this, but I'd be happy their attempt worked and they're in peace.

I understand your feelings. For me, I have never had a friend. I was always an outsider. Never having friends, you are spared the pain if something goes wrong. Some may say it is lucky.

I came to this forum. Nobody judges me. People listen to me, and people talk to me. People actually care that I exist. For the first time, I am experiencing what it feel something besides hatred to another human being. Those feelings may be a normal everyday occurrence but not to me.

Which means for the first time, I will experience loss. @SuicidalSymphonies @Haku and most important you @Stan are my family and friends. I will bring them up and thank them as much as I can. I understand they won't be here some day... and for the first time I will experience the loss of a love one.

You see, for some, like myself, the people on this forum are the only people we have, even if we physically didn't meet. These people who I never met are keeping me alive, because I now how something to look forward to. I now get out of bed to go to my computer to see if my friends are there. Normal for some... not for me.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

To be honest nothing affects me anymore. Like when actors or musicians died people got all upset. I just couldn't understand because how can you get upset about a person dying that you didn't even know? If people die on here I wouldn't be sad because I'd know that they are out of their misery. Of course I would miss them and feel bad that their life was so awful that it had to come down to this, but I'd be happy their attempt worked and they're in peace.

Of course! And I can understand how you feel this way too. I'll be sad when your name crosses out but glad to know you no longer hurt. x

I understand your feelings. For me, I have never had a friend. I was always an outsider. Never having friends, you are spared the pain if something goes wrong. Some may say it is lucky.

I came to this forum. Nobody judges me. People listen to me, and people talk to me. People actually care that I exist. For the first time, I am experiencing what it feel something besides hatred to another human being. Those feelings may be a normal everyday occurrence but not to me.

Which means for the first time, I will experience loss. @SuicidalSymphonies @Haku and most important you @Stan are my family and friends. I will bring them up and thank them as much as I can. I understand they won't be here some day... and for the first time I will experience the loss of a love one.

You see, for some, like myself, the people on this forum are the only people we have, even if we physically didn't meet. These people who I never met are keeping me alive, because I now how something to look forward to. I now get out of bed to go to my computer to see if my friends are there. Normal for some... not for me.

Will break me to see you go if you do before me, Jean. Oh, I'm so soft... Thank you for calling me your friend. xo

 

[Ame]

My tendency is to numb my feelings in the aftermath of loss but even so, I do feel a kind of sadness. Even before registering, when I lurked I could not help but feel for those members who took their leave and "boarded the bus" so to speak. It is not so much that they died (even if a part of me hopes against hope that the attempts and deaths aren't real) but that they had come to a point in their lives - often by no fault of their own - where dying became the only option that made sense. It is not so much wanting to die or needing to die, but eventually suicide feels like the only logical conclusion. I cannot say whether or not that is correct...and while I will always advocate treatment, I also support the right to auto-determination.

It would be selfish for me to say "no, stay here even if you are suffering" because others are not meant to serve as props for my own happiness. Still...as I read about the the experiences of others and their pain, I invariably end up becoming a little attached. I realize that the people I am feeling for are more like characters that I have constructed in my head. I acknowledge that I do not really know anyone here and that I merely fill in the gaps between the the little pieces that members choose to share.

I guess it is more accurate to say that it is difficult.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

My tendency is to numb my feelings in the aftermath of loss but even so, I do feel a kind of sadness. Even before registering, when I lurked I could not help but feel for those members who took their leave and "boarded the bus" so to speak. It is not so much that they died (even if a part of me hopes against hope that the attempts and deaths aren't real) but that they had come to a point in their lives - often by no fault of their own - where dying became the only option that made sense. It is not so much wanting to die or needing to die, but eventually suicide feels like the only logical conclusion. I cannot say whether or not that is correct...and while I will always advocate treatment, I also support the right to auto-determination.

It would be selfish for me to say "no, stay here even if you are suffering" because others are not meant to serve as props for my own happiness. Still...as I read about the the experiences of others and their pain, I invariably end up becoming a little attached. I realize that the people I am feeling for are more like characters that I have constructed in my head. I acknowledge that I do not really know anyone here and that I merely fill in the gaps between the the little pieces that members choose to share.

I guess it is more accurate to say that it is difficult.

It IS difficult. And I understand how you feel. It's like the outside looking in for you in a way.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I understand your feelings. For me, I have never had a friend. I was always an outsider. Never having friends, you are spared the pain if something goes wrong. Some may say it is lucky.

I came to this forum. Nobody judges me. People listen to me, and people talk to me. People actually care that I exist. For the first time, I am experiencing what it feel something besides hatred to another human being. Those feelings may be a normal everyday occurrence but not to me.

Which means for the first time, I will experience loss. @SuicidalSymphonies @Haku and most important you @Stan are my family and friends. I will bring them up and thank them as much as I can. I understand they won't be here some day... and for the first time I will experience the loss of a love one.

You see, for some, like myself, the people on this forum are the only people we have, even if we physically didn't meet. These people who I never met are keeping me alive, because I now how something to look forward to. I now get out of bed to go to my computer to see if my friends are there. Normal for some... not for me.

It's normal for me too. I don't have friends because I'm physically sick. So going on my tablet to see who wrote me and to see if I can help anyone feels like I have people there for me.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It's normal for me too. I don't have friends because I'm physically sick. So going on my tablet to see who wrote me and to see if I can help anyone feels like I have people there for me.

You DO have people here for you. I'll always be here for you until the end and after that. You've been nothing but sweet to me since I joined.

 

[Sweet emotion]

You DO have people here for you. I'll always be here for you until the end and after that. You've been nothing but sweet to me since I joined.

Thank you so much. I'll always be here for you too.

 

[Heart of Ice]

Death is something I expected when I started browsing here. The anonymity of a forum like this also takes away some of the empathy I think.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Death is something I expected when I started browsing here. The anonymity of a forum like this also takes away some of the empathy I think.

Understandable. It makes sense. I'm just a big softy! I knew when I first started browsing and signed up that we'd lose many people, and I still feel sad every time. It's hypocritical because I'm waiting at the stop, myself. But what can I do?

 

[Nem]

It is what it is, it sucks azz
Peace

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It is what it is, it sucks azz
Peace

Couldn't agree more.

 

[Neverod]

I would love to hear everyone's story in person, sharing the pain if the wish to. I don't believe too much in the afterlife, but if there's one, i would love to have a chat with the ones who are there and the ones who will go when i'm there.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I would love to hear everyone's story in person, sharing the pain if the wish to. I don't believe too much in the afterlife, but if there's one, i would love to have a chat with the ones who are there and the ones who will go when i'm there.

I can understand that completely. I want to believe there's an afterlife, though I'd like to be reincarnated with another chance as maybe... A wild cat.

 

[Jean4]

I can understand that completely. I want to believe there's an afterlife, though I'd like to be reincarnated with another chance as maybe... A wild cat.

Nah. You would want to be like my cat. He's my reason for being here, he has me wrapped around his paw, and I am his slave lol.