Are borderlines incapable of love?

[bl33ding_heart]

I've seen many people say people with bpd aren't capable of truly loving someone. Because when we fall in love we don't just love the person. We make them the pinnacle of our existence. We cling to them and go to extreme lengths just to keep them in our life and prevent them from leaving us. We depend on them emotionally and feel as if our life is meaningless without them in it. Some people don't consider that as love at all and don't consider it as anything beyond an unhealthy attachment. I do agree that a relationship with all of these feelings wouldn't be healthy at all. But people with bpd aren't mentally healthy because we have a life long personality disorder. Does love have to be seen as not real just because the person feeling it has a mental illness that messes with the way they feel things? The idea of people with bpd not being able to experience genuine love honestly breaks my heart and decreases my will to get better. Because for the majority of us our existence will be centred around a fp. Something I really wanna experience before I die is falling in love with someone that loves me equally as much and marrying them. But I fear if my "love" is nothing besides unhealthy attachments that wouldn't even be worth it at all. I'm envious of people without this disorder and I wish I could fall in love like a normal person and not have my feelings be so controlled by a mental illness that will never go away. But I have never experienced that before and never will.

 

[itsallogrenow]

In my experience, I don't think I've ever experienced "love".

Every person that I thought I liked or loved was just an FP

I do think someone with BPD can fall in love, but only if they get therapy and their symptoms go into remission. That way it's definitely love and not just an FP

EDIT: Speaking about romantic love only. Can't relate to familial love or anything like that.

 

[azsxls]

I've seen many people say people with bpd aren't capable of truly loving someone. Because when we fall in love we don't just love the person. We make them the pinnacle of our existence. We cling to them and go to extreme lengths just to keep them in our life and prevent them from leaving us. We depend on them emotionally and feel as if our life is meaningless without them in it. Some people don't consider that as love at all and don't consider it as anything beyond an unhealthy attachment. I do agree that a relationship with all of these feelings wouldn't be healthy at all. But people with bpd aren't mentally healthy because we have a life long personality disorder. Does love have to be seen as not real just because the person feeling it has a mental illness that messes with the way they feel things? The idea of people with bpd not being able to experience genuine love honestly breaks my heart and decreases my will to get better. Because for the majority of us our existence will be centred around a fp. Something I really wanna experience before I die is falling in love with someone that loves me equally as much and marrying them. But I fear if my "love" is nothing besides unhealthy attachments that wouldn't even be worth it at all. I'm envious of people without this disorder and I wish I could fall in love like a normal person and not have my feelings be so controlled by a mental illness that will never go away. But I have never experienced that before and never will.

It certainly is an unhealthy attachment when you start to accuse random people + your own friends of being your fp on discord

 

[bl33ding_heart]

It certainly is an unhealthy attachment when you start to accuse random people + your own friends of being your fp on discord

The random friend in question having the exact same speech patterns and vocabulary as said fp to a scary extent is more concerning. :p

 

[azsxls]

The random friend in question having the exact same speech patterns and vocabulary as said fp to a scary extent is more concerning. :p

why on earth would your fp who doesnt use discord go on a discord account pretend to be a random person and message you, does that really sound plausible

 

[bl33ding_heart]

why on earth would your fp who doesnt use discord go on a discord account pretend to be a random person and message you, does that really sound plausible

He's done it 10000 times before for years, kek.

 

[azsxls]

He's done it 10000 times before for years, kek.

yet he doesnt use discord? regardless i dont think i and this friend of yours both sound like your fp its just impossible i think its much more likely theres something else to it

 

[bl33ding_heart]

yet he doesnt use discord? regardless i dont think i and this friend of yours both sound like your fp its just impossible i think its much more likely theres something else to it

He does use discord. It's just not his primary source of communication with me. Mr account made 5 days ago.

 

[azsxls]

He does use discord. It's just not his primary source of communication with me. Mr account made 5 days ago

i dont believe thats what you said earlier perhaps you were making it up like you did with a lot of things you told me regardless i still think i or anyone else for that matter does not sound like your fp its could very much be your attachment to them influencing your judgement ill leave it at that since i cant be bothered arguing with brick wall respectfully of course ^^

 

[bl33ding_heart]

i dont think thats what you said earlier perhaps you were making it up like you did with a lot of things you told me regardless i still dont think i or anyone else for that matter sounds like your fp

Literally what are you even talking about. I never lied about anything and you wouldn't even be able to tell if I did because discord is completely anonymous. I'm not the one that conveniently had multiple different account to re add me on. Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day/night. And god bless your soul.

 

[azsxls]

Literally what are you even talking about. I never lied about anything and you wouldn't even be able to tell if I did because discord is completely anonymous. I'm not the one that conveniently had multiple different account to re add me on. Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day/night. And god bless your soul.

well for starters "im leaving discord forever please tell me your ss" was a lie and then proceeding to block and insult me calling me your fp when i say no was definitely a reasonable move on your part clearly you think everyone is stupid and you can say whatever you want and people with believe you but thats not the case not to mention the straight up gaslighting the day before after you told me something along the lines of "I would know what your fp told you" because you thought i was him?? and what exactly are you implying by saying its convenient i have multiple accounts? i hope you have a wonderful night too and god bless your soul too

 

[TeaHealer]

BPD can love someone. Is just that they have to control themselves from implicating their others.

I have a bpd friend who's currently dating their fp, and they're quite stable; honestly, the mom and the dad in the group, but even she has a hard time controlling emotions and does apologize whenever it spikes up, she also had to learn how to easily cut people off so she wouldn't get affected or deepen an argument.

My best advice to you is treat your relationships as a lock and key to slowly open your heart. If they give a lock to you, you have free will to unlock it. Surely, you'll find a way there yourself.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

well for starters "im leaving discord forever please tell me your ss" was a lie and then proceeding to block and insult me calling me your fp when i say no was definitely a reasonable move on your part clearly you think everyone is stupid and you can say whatever you want and people with believe you but thats not the case not to mention the straight up gaslighting the day before after you told me something along the lines of "I would know what your fp told you" because you thought i was him?? and what exactly are you implying by saying its convenient i have multiple accounts? i hope you have a wonderful night too and god bless your soul too

I blocked you on discord before your account on here was even made. That's very telling.

 

[azsxls]

I blocked you on discord before your account on here was even made. That's very telling.

I hope you're not saying that proves im your fp because i really hope for your own sake that you are not that ill

 

[bl33ding_heart]

BPD can love someone. Is just that they have to control themselves from implicating their others.

I have a bpd friend who's currently dating their fp, and they're quite stable; honestly, the mom and the dad in the group, but even she has a hard time controlling emotions and does apologize whenever it spikes up, she also had to learn how to easily cut people off so she wouldn't get affected or deepen an argument.

My best advice to you is treat your relationships as a lock and key to slowly open your heart. If they give a lock to you, you have free will to unlock it. Surely, you'll find a way there yourself.

That's honestly nice to hear and gives me some hope. I'm gonna assume your friend has likely received some form of medication or treatment. I've never been treated for my bpd before so I hope I can be as stable as her with treatment. And thank you for your advice.

Are you saying that proves im your fp because i really hope for your own sake that you arent that ill? or is it something else?

That alone doesn't. But a lot of things do. Anyways I don't want to argue with you anymore. I didn't join this site to argue with people. Good bye!

I hope you're not saying that proves im your fp because i really hope for your own sake that you are not that ill

Also I just remembered. This site is for suicidal people lol. You told me you aren't suicidal. Why are you here?

 

[azsxls]

I hope you are not saying that proves im your fp because i really hope for your own sake that you arent that ill

That's honestly nice to hear and gives me some hope. I'm gonna assume your friend has likely received some form of medication or treatment. I've never been treated for my bpd before so I hope I can be as stable as her with treatment. And thank you for your advice.

That alone doesn't. But a lot of things do. Anyways I don't want to argue with you anymore. I didn't join this site to argue with people. Good bye!

Also I just remembered. This site is for suicidal people lol. You told me you aren't suicidal. Why are you here?

Actually this is a site for pro choice people who wish to discuss suicide mainly and other topics uncensored so you might want to touch up on the information page of the site since you have somehow managed to forget the purpose of the site despite being on here for a year and who knows i might be suicidal but nevertheless its nothing you need to worry about. Also just to be clear you literally just said "That alone doesn't. But a lot of things do" like you cannot seriously be still acting like im your fp undercover, do you have some form of schizophrenia or something? if you dont know it might be best to see if you can get a diagnosis

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Actually this is a site for pro choice people who wish to discuss suicide mainly and other topics uncensored so you might want to touch up on the information page of the site since you have somehow managed to forget the purpose of the site despite being on here for a year and who knows i might be suicidal but nevertheless its nothing you need to worry about. Also just to be clear you literally just said "That alone doesn't. But a lot of things do" like you cannot seriously be still acting like im your fp undercover, do you have some form of schizophrenia or something? if you dont know it might be best to see if you can get a diagnosis

The fact that my fp is known for adding me under fake identities. The speech patterns vocabulary perfectly aligning, you strangely having multiple alts on discord? But im schizophrenic haha. Also, you sent me a friend request and claimed to have added me from this site. Your account on here is made days after I blocked you on discord. Try to make me look schizophrenic all you want but you're the sketch one here. Also, I don't see why you're trying to pick a fight with me under my post rather than simply private messaging me.

Actually this is a site for pro choice people who wish to discuss suicide mainly and other topics uncensored so you might want to touch up on the information page of the site since you have somehow managed to forget the purpose of the site despite being on here for a year and who knows i might be suicidal but nevertheless its nothing you need to worry about. Also just to be clear you literally just said "That alone doesn't. But a lot of things do" like you cannot seriously be still acting like im your fp undercover, do you have some form of schizophrenia or something? if you dont know it might be best to see if you can get a diagnosis

Enjoy your ban!

 

[Pluto]