April has ended how do you feel?

[grungy自殺]

It's not much for me say about my April since it was an incredibly boring month for me, I've never made much progress. (though my own inevitability of me leaving this city existence won't be coming by until two years) And literally I've been so stacked against with shitty debt and been working at an airport with a crappy job that I've applied to as I've been desperate to have a job that pays me decently (because you know in this day and age getting a job takes the same effort as trying to ace an entrance exam in America). I've since landed it and I hardly don't regret as much since I used to work at a warehouse that requires me to drive over 20 miles because there's barely any jobs in my local area that will ever accept me so I just had to work there for well over months and just recently this month (or April I should say) I quit and I allocated most of my time to be at the airport (I actually overlapped it with my warehouse job at the beginning of this year for three months and I honestly just couldn't really stand working getting up so early just to head to a job that inconsistently pays me by hour since it was part time, and and just barely heading to the airport to waste most of my energy for eight hours straight.) so I basically said they worked there for six months and quit (they'll probably I might've got fired since I've been constantly absent with multiple no call no shows as I hardly could ever get up to finish up my notice period) and I was glad to because I was able to finally get the proper rest that I needed and I was able to finally be on time to head out and keep on working at the international airport without problems (though I do say I still wake up real lazily as I always sleep late asf and Hardly keep up with my Circadian rhythm )
Anyway

Is anyone's April fine or just downright mediocre as mine? (however, you want to put it)

 

[rest2love]

I feel like absolute hell. My brother just died from suicide, and he didn't even fucking call me. I'm so fucking pissed off and sad.

 

[SASU-KE]

I feel like I MAY ctb

 

[Pluto]

 

[Proceed]

I didn't even realize that until I read this post.

 

[FuneralCry]

Every month is just another one of suffering in this torturous, dreadful existence that I just always saw as the most terrible mistake and it's just so terrible and dreadful how I had to suffer at all, to suffer in this existence truly is the most cruel, painful abomination, this existence should never be imposed and it's so horrible how it was.

I always find it torture to exist and as long as I exist I'll only hope for true permanent peace, I just want non-existence to solve everything for me in this terrible, dreadful existence that just tortures existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and there's just so much evil in existing. I always suffer so much from being trapped in this horrific world where humans have made it illegal to cease existing painlessly, it truly is such a terrible crime to me how we exist in this reality where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, non-existence is just all I could ever see as positive no matter what.