Help Anyone on the autism spectrum?

[Mm80]

I understand to be honest. My brain gets messed up from what they like to call migraine aura, but it's too often for me to buy that bs. My brain just broke one day. I get transit global aphasia... look it up. It's literal hell. I know how awful it is to not be able to communicate how you intend. Hell, typing this took me 20 min because my brain just won't process what I want to say.

Man, your guys posts give me a hard pill to swallow about society and autism. Doctors love to feed parents like me rainbows about how our children will have a "normal" life. Maybe when covid ends I can look into work with autistic children to help more parents understand, and hopefully help less people hate themself for society's failings.

One thing i would say rosey is that a lot of us are from a different generation and a bit worn down by it.
I think children on the spectrum that have been diagnosed really do have a good chance of a decent life.i hope this is the case for yours.
Understanding is getting better and there is more support out there.

 

[Ghost2211]

One thing i would say rosey is that a lot of us are from a different generation and a bit worn down by it.
I think children on the spectrum that have been diagnosed really do have a good chance of a decent life.i hope this is the case for yours.
Understanding is getting better and there is more support out there.

Thank you for pointing that out.

 

[muffin222]

One thing i would say rosey is that a lot of us are from a different generation and a bit worn down by it.
I think children on the spectrum that have been diagnosed really do have a good chance of a decent life.i hope this is the case for yours.
Understanding is getting better and there is more support out there.

I agree with this. I do think that most cases of autism get detected early on nowadays, so the children get support, understanding, access to resources, and social leeway that was simply not available to many people with late diagnoses. When I was 2 years old, people just weren't thinking about autism or looking for it, especially in little girls. ADHD was the popular diagnosis for "problem children" back then. With proper support and sympathetic caretakers, I do believe most children on the spectrum can grow up to be decently content in life.

 

[nitroautnz]

I agree with this. I do think that most cases of autism get detected early on nowadays, so the children get support, understanding, access to resources, and social leeway that was simply not available to many people with late diagnoses. When I was 2 years old, people just weren't thinking about autism or looking for it, especially in little girls. ADHD was the popular diagnosis for "problem children" back then. With proper support and sympathetic caretakers, I do believe most children on the spectrum can grow up to be decently content in life.

I've never been diagnosed with anything until recently, I always feel and aware that I was different and a misfit but beeing diagnosed is almost worse. Because my family and friends doubt that i have autism because i was very good to develop mechanism for dealing with it, and going under the radar by avoiding any situation that I couldnt deal with. I almost need to justify myself and it's an horrible feeling. Like If I'm appropriating something that i shouldn't. That I just should make effort to be like everyone.
Even my councellor the other day told me "I dont like "label" pretty much saying that I wasnt autist and it was just an excuse for my situation and problems.....
No wonder I want to ctb.

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Whats an allistic ?

Someone who isn't autistic. Autistic vs allistic

 

[Mm80]

I've never been diagnosed with anything until recently, I always feel and aware that I was different and a misfit but beeing diagnosed is almost worse. Because my family and friends doubt that i have autism because i was very good to develop mechanism for dealing with it, and going under the radar by avoiding any situation that I couldnt deal with. I almost need to justify myself and it's an horrible feeling. Like If I'm appropriating something that i shouldn't. That I just should make effort to be like everyone.
Even my councellor the other day told me "I dont like "label" pretty much saying that I wasnt autist and it was just an excuse for my situation and problems.....
No wonder I want to ctb.

Sometimes we need labels. Its ok for some hippie counsellor to say... Hey man lets not label each other.
Well actually dude my brain functions and is shaped differently to most people's. I think it might be worth recognising that as an issue.
Counselling is set up for neuro typical people. Who know their feelings and can express them in a logical predictable way

 

[Mm80]

Someone who isn't autistic. Autistic vs allistic

Where do you get these funky terms from ? Boring old me knew those folks as neurotypical

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Where do you get these funky terms from ? Boring old me knew those folks as neurotypical

Well neurotypical doesn't strictly mean non autistic! For example: someone with ADHD isn't neurotypical, they have a neurodivergency, but they still aren't autistic - so allistic!

 

[Mm80]

Well neurotypical doesn't strictly mean non autistic! For example: someone with ADHD isn't neurotypical, they have a neurodivergency, but they still aren't autistic - so allistic!

True.
Still dont get why its called allistic lol but its only words i suppose. Cats still fed up no matter what anyway x

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

True.
Still dont get why its called allistic lol but its only words i suppose. Cats still fed up no matter what anyway x

Yes that is very true. Just another descriptor word. Glad we cleared stuff up ! :)

 

[Mm80]

Yes that is very true. Just another descriptor word. Glad we cleared stuff up ! :)

I suppose you will be doing something super positive this weekend like climbing Mount snowdon...

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

I suppose you will be doing something super positive this weekend like climbing Mount snowdon...

Yeah I totally am not having a mental health act assessment on monday ! Such positivity

 

[timeisnigh]

Guys y'all were both doing so well. C'mon we're on the same team here. There aren't a lot of people here I like but I don't try to stir the pot either

 

[Mm80]

Well neurotypical doesn't strictly mean non autistic! For example: someone with ADHD isn't neurotypical, they have a neurodivergency, but they still aren't autistic - so allistic!

Yeah I totally am not having a mental health act assessment on monday ! Such positivity

Well you know all the politically correct terminology for things so you should be ok.
Did you know that you can be allistic but have adhd?

 

[CatIsFedUpOfThis]

Well you know all the politically correct terminology for things so you should be ok.
Did you know that you can be allistic but have adhd?

Yep fingers crossed.

 

[Mm80]

Yep fingers crossed.

No its actually a fact.
Allistic just means non autistic

 

[ophiastri]

It's one reason among many why I'm going. In a lot of ways that I can't accurately verbalize, I know I am inherently different, for better or worse.

The outcomes of everything I do are different from everyone. I say things that would never come out of other people, not in a weird way but more like I'm just phase-shifted from everyone. I cannot do things that seem to be automatic knowledge to everyone else, just in a general sense. It seems like people just know what to do in many different scenarios or emergencies and I just don't. I don't know if it stems from autism but my types of affection, love, and empathy do not operate in the same way and people don't understand, so they like to insult me by throwing me under some label. Maybe these days it'd be called "simp?" you're not really allowed to care deeply or with any variety unless you want to be ostracized. There's so much going on in my brain and it's difficult to understand what someone's saying the first time. I always see problems with things like the way the status quo is. I don't like tradition. There are horrible problems with most of the things humans set up in the world but you can't really tell anyone them because you're not supposed to challenge anything.

There's a lot more than I'm listing here. It goes on. I was suicidally idealizing as early as ~8 over many of these reasons. After living with it for almost twenty years beyond that trying to think it can work, I know I'm just fundamentally not compatible anywhere I go with anyone and I'm going to turn out like that 30-something who was on the news that they were ridiculing and laughing at for living at home. I do my best to be a good person and act in a way where I say nothing unusual. I avoid saying negative things in conversation and try to be positive. I think I'm attractive. I have good hygiene. Regardless of those things, without exception, every single person I get close to drifts away. I could write a book on all the things I do to appease people (while still being myself) but it's not enough. In the unlikely event that someone wants to start talking, I immediately begin getting claustrophobic and avoid talking to them even when I'm lonely. I don't think it is possible to unjam myself out of that problem, and given everything else I struggle with it wouldn't be worth it anyway. If I took a pill that cured 50% of the things I'm dealing with, life still wouldn't be worth it.

I snipped the salt and changed stuff. sorry >.<

 

[A Retarded Demon]

Had a conversation with my counselor. She has done all this research on women on the autism spectrum. Apparently autism manifests differently in women than in men, and it is underdiagnosed, often mistaken for other things like BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorders, etc.

She suggested the my problem all these years was misdiagnosis, and that she can help with autism. She's selling this whole scenario as hope, and I'm not sure I can buy it.

Anyone else on the autism spectrum? Is there treatment that actually helps??

I don't know much about the diagnoses on girls but as a guy I was diagnosed with autism and a few other disorders. I do think a large part of misdiagnoses is because therapy based science rarely if ever actually look at the organ they work with whilst all other fields of health related science does.

For example if you break your leg you'll get X rayed to find the extent of the damage.

Whilst therapists GPS and other doctors don't do a brain scan and take wild stabs in the dark based on educated guess work sometimes they are right alot of times they are wrong and that person gets none of the treatment they need.

A good example of bad psychology is the psychopath test which is so incredibly broad and vast that you can prove anyone is a psychopath.

That's as I understand it

 

[NotHuman]

I really don't understand the people putting diagnosis up on a pedestal. Consider how useless "help" has been for people here who are merely depressed or suicidal due to life circumstances. Now consider that people have far less of an understanding of autism than they do depression or suicidality. Autism treatment manages to be even less effective and more contrived than the most dubious depression treatments. ABA is generally considered the best early intervention program, and it was founded on the philosophy of Lovaas who asserted that autistics' behaviors must be shaped through conditioning to conform to societal expectations in order for them to become human - Masking 101.

Early diagnosis gave more weight to my claims for disability accommodations in school for my myriad of other problems and made me eligible for what was essentially day care for broken children. Socializing was consistently one-sided; "friendship" involved doing whatever these other kids wanted such as watching them play their favorite video game by themselves, but I often went along with it because the only alternative was to be alone. Social skills "training" pretty much capped out at "this is a happy face, this is a sad face". Young adult programs were more of the same right down to everyone being treated like babies except with a little more variety such as beginner's cooking and yoga.

All an autism diagnosis ultimately accomplished was to allow me to settle into my low standing early on killing any vestige of hope for me and my family that this was something which might change over time.

 

[Racon]

I really don't understand the people putting diagnosis up on a pedestal.

On the internet a diagnose at least acts like a shoddy fence keeping out the special snowflakes who self-proclaim to be neurodivergent autistics. Demeaning people like those on here who suffered from it so they can get extra attention. Well at least on reddit anyway.
In practice I highly doubt an early diagnose makes a difference. Only as an adult might it provide the benefit of better understanding ones self.

 

[Lostkitten1]

for the OP, and as a male with autism (asperger's syndrome specifically), autism is nearly never diagnosed in females, often being attributed to a myriad of other disorders, or in some cases just ending up as being labelled "odd". THERE IS NO CURE! Autism is life-long, you can't take a drug or have a therapy, or stand upside-down in a barrel of eels eyes under a full moon, to make it go away. I really wish it was possible, but it isn't. If it was, I wouldn't be in the position I am now. On the other hand, I wouldn't be the person I am (was) either. The trick is to make it work for you, not let it define you.

And @Racon, it depends where on the autism spectrum one is diagnosed. On the so-called "high-functioning" end, it doesn't really make much difference to have a diagnosis, although extra support may be provided during school (mostly inconsequential support). On the other end, support is more of a requirement, and then an early diagnosis would help.

 

[Racon]

for the OP, and as a male with autism (asperger's syndrome specifically)

You officially have ASD now.

And @Racon, it depends where on the autism spectrum one is diagnosed. On the so-called "high-functioning" end, it doesn't really make much difference to have a diagnosis, although extra support may be provided during school (mostly inconsequential support). On the other end, support is more of a requirement, and then an early diagnosis would help.

Well, yeah. Care of basic daily needs is required at the lower end.

 

[Lostkitten1]

You officially have ASD now.

Yeah, knew that. Since before the psychs started calling it "Autistic Spectrum Disorder".
Doesn't make much difference what the label is, it's still a part of me. It's still the best and worst thing I could ever have happen to me

 

[Ghost2211]

I must say watching the kids get ABA makes me Viscerally uncomfortable. It's just conditioning in "normal" behavior. It's sad to see how people on the spectrum go though training to meld into society. On the other side I get it. My 6 year old just acts how she feels is appropriate, but to people that see us she is being bad. To her tantrums make sense, or stating " I need more attention" basically non stop. I can see why a lot of love and patience is needed. One of those days ima get stoned and take a nap.

 

[NotHuman]

I must say watching the kids get ABA makes me Viscerally uncomfortable. It's just conditioning in "normal" behavior. It's sad to see how people on the spectrum go though training to meld into society. On the other side I get it. My 6 year old just acts how she feels is appropriate, but to people that see us she is being bad. To her tantrums make sense, or stating " I need more attention" basically non stop. I can see why a lot of love and patience is needed. One of those days ima get stoned and take a nap.

My sister used to do ABA for kids writing out their reinforcement schedules. It's pointless trying to explain this perspective to anyone in the profession; they're completely convinced that what they're doing has nothing to do with conformity despite the entire focus being behavior and the mechanism being operant conditioning. In their minds, it's nothing more than skills training and offering strategies for daily functioning. Point out the alarming philosophy of its founder and they'll distance themselves from him and claim the therapy has long developed since then even though the only difference in approach is that they use positive reinforcement while Lovaas promoted negative reinforcement. Point out the recent study linking ABA to increased rates of PTSD symptoms and they'll dismiss it as being biased and cite old studies reporting favorable results.

Although I've personally never had ABA, I have no doubt that I would've been trumpeted as a success case. I used to have a very marked set of autistic behaviors most of which have since been weeded out through extensive ostracization and bullying. I'm now passable as a human to society, yet ironically I feel like I've lost everything that made me a person. I'm now trapped in a purgatory between being myself and being somebody else. My mind suppresses most of these habits unconsciously. Occasionally some will seep out when I'm not concentrating on myself, but I see no way to return to what I once was. As a result, I'm even more alone than I was before. I don't even have myself.

 

[sufferingalways]

You said you cant imagine a way that being a girl makes autism more bearable but you mentioned in the same post that you can present your symptoms in a more acceptable manner, because you are a girl. This does make having autism more bearable. We all suffer from autism in one way or another. What i am saying is that despite the suffering we all have to endure, girls have some advantages that men simple does not have. You mentioned one but you then said in the same post that you cant imagine one. This is a contradiction.


Being able to present your symptoms in a more acceptable manner came with the negative side effect to get your diagnosis later and you dont like to hide yourself behind a mask but i am sure we all would prefer to not have autism at all. I am not the one that said female autists are completely fine by the way and that is not the point i try to make.

@EternalDarkness

Sorry, but I disagree. There's no contradiction.

I have a brother who's also autistic and he was diagnosed by age 2 because his symptoms presented in a more obvious manner. I envy him in a sense because he's basically lived his entire life with the specialized care and support he needed, whereas I stumbled and suffered in silence for years because I masked better.

It's not a contradiction to me. I don't agree with you that presenting symptoms in a more socially acceptable way makes it more bearable. That's what you appear to miss. I don't feel that way. Perhaps you feel that way, but I don't, after living my life the way I have first-hand. I think it's made my life significantly harder than it needed to be. There's more to the struggle of autism than social interaction.

Masking was tiring and overwhelming; the issues it caused me went beyond my just not liking to hide behind a mask. It took a mental, physical, and emotional toll on me to fake it and try to follow the scripts day in and day out. If I'd known I was autistic earlier, I wouldn't have bothered with masking. I would have just told people up front in the workplace, at school, and in my friendships that I'm autistic and that I may exhibit some peculiar mannerisms and may struggle with social interaction. That would have spared me the mental breakdown and subsequent burnout.

But, because I didn't know I was autistic, I couldn't articulate why I struggled the way I did. I believed it was just a failure on my part of some kind and that the solution was to just "try harder" to act like everyone expected me to act.

I wish I'd had the experience of my brother who was clearly on the spectrum, was diagnosed early, and has been receiving support and resources his entire life.

Of course we would prefer not to have autism at all, but it's the difference between knowing exactly what the problem is vs stumbling in the darkness for years knowing that something is off but never quite knowing what. Both are equally difficult, but one clearly produces far more unnecessary stress than the other.
[/QUOTE]


Hi muffin222 I am sorry to hear that you have had such hard struggles over the years regarding autism/ not knowing that you have it. I suspect I am on the spectrum as well. Wasn't aware of it until a friend with Aspergers told me "you're slightly Aspie" after we had met up. He said "it's probably why we get on so well." I "get" him completely and how he behaves (he didn't stick out among others in my view but maybe that just affirms my similarities with him). He worked in music production, very creative and clever.


My point is that I also feel set apart from what people like to call "the norm" and with regards to my council landlord I feel like they are unhappy with how I am, despite banging on about "we are proud to have a diverse community " on their website. I feel they pick on me for the way I am. All I can say to that is "Bollocks to them!"

 

[oktnn50md]

Autism is in your very brain structure, unless they change your brain in some way they can't fix it. That being said we still don't understand all the positives and the negatives of autism.

 

[Forgotten]

I possibly have aspergers, but it's just my self-diagnosis. My psychiatrist just diagnosed me with social phobia, anxiety disorder, depression and PTSD. To put it simply, I'm mentally screwed but not mentally screwed enough to get disability benefits.

 

[Brokensaddle]

Had a conversation with my counselor. She has done all this research on women on the autism spectrum. Apparently autism manifests differently in women than in men, and it is underdiagnosed, often mistaken for other things like BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorders, etc.

She suggested the my problem all these years was misdiagnosis, and that she can help with autism. She's selling this whole scenario as hope, and I'm not sure I can buy it.

Anyone else on the autism spectrum? Is there treatment that actually helps??

I got diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and my mental health team used it as excuse to not give me free CBT therapy on the nhs. They told me it won't work with me because of my autism and that I should go somewhere else and finding talking therapy but it took them 3 years to reach that decision and it pissed me off so much. People aren't even nicer when I tell them they ether think I'm crazy or baby talk me with your doing so well today.

 

[sufferingalways]

I possibly have aspergers, but it's just my self-diagnosis. My psychiatrist just diagnosed me with social phobia, anxiety disorder, depression and PTSD. To put it simply, I'm mentally screwed but not mentally screwed enough to get disability benefits.

Hi from my basic knowledge of PTSD I would think from what you said there, that you could qualify for disability benefits.
PTSD is serious enough, I can't see why you wouldn't? Are you in the UK?