anyone here have no freinds

[tipsytiger]

I always try to make friends so that I can do many activities, because mostly when I'm alone my depression and anxiety is killing me.

But that's it I don't think I have close enough friends to tell me about my condition, I'm afraid of their response and I don't think they can understand.

I'm usually very chill when i'm outside, people tell me that I don't seems like to have any problem in life. Well I guess they don't know me deep enough

 

[yuzuchan]

introverted but had one friend basically my whole life though we are complete different people. See him once every couple months half a year or text once every few months.

To him I've probably just been some random friend he catchs up to every now and again but to me he's the only friend I've had.

We have nothing in common so making a random conversation via text has always been hard.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

Yes; I truly have no one rn. I've always had someone to talk to or confide in. But that's not the case anymore; have had no one for a few years now. It's really taking a toll on me. Never been this isolated before

 

[Ms.Starr]

I have never had friends. It hurts. I wonder what makes me different than others who do. This life has been very lonely.

 

[4hrs50min]

I've had friends I wish I never had, the good ones l have left have such functioning/happy lives I'm ashamed in their presence.. I'm the fuckup

 

[worst.therapist]

some, but i dont feel they are close to me :(

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

I have had "friends" but not in the true, genuine sense. They were my friends while I served a purpose or while they had nothing better to do but as for a true friend, who had my back or stood by me, never had one of those. Now, I'm isolated and alone, no friends, no family, and depressed and ready to ctb. I've always been the one that I think people "tolerated" for lack of a better word. Looking back I see most of it was my fault. I wasn't a very nice person, negative and just not a good person. I don't know why I was that way either, and God I wish I hadn't been. I wish I could go back and change so many things. I wish I was kind and fun and the kind of person people want to be around. Too late now though.

 

[freedompass]

Actual friends have mostly disappointed, betrayed or ghosted. I actually employed a support worker privately. I pay her £20 an hour for her time. She is as good as a friend as far as I'm concerned. In a way, better, because I suppose I have more control in a sense? The relationship is strictly boundaried. She isn't going to become a problem, exploit or otherwise mistreat me. When I want to meet for a coffee or walk, I meet her and if I just want some space I can skip for as long as I want. She's a retired lady in her 70's but active and friendly, lively and energetic.

In addition to her I went on an app to find 'companions'. Through the app you can book visits with background checked people in your locality who often have experience in caring professions and such. You pay through the app which is administered by a friendly team that you can talk to. It's usually around £15 an hour. I've been meeting with one lady who's like, 48 and is studying and working towards becoming a therapist. We meet for coffee every Saturday afternoon.

You can say 'how sad to have to pay for friendship' but I don't really, I actually prefer it this way as I can pick and choose and am not limited to other mentally ill people (sorry I know that sounds bad but yeah, difficult experiences in the past). I don't have to support the other person or have them depend on me. They are friends/companions without any of the drama. It works for me. I also have a few online friends but no one really close.

We pay for most other things that we value, so why not friendship. Just my 2 pence.

 

[catasia]

I used to have... My boyfriend told me that his friends are mine too.. but I don't feel that. Well.. I have some friends from the university, but no one with whom I can share my feelings and intimities.

 

[dunnowhatelse]

yeah basically lost all my friends and it feels like i don't have anyone to live for

 

[hatehypocrisy]

I hate this! I really don't like to be lonely.

 

[jodes2]

The last time I had a friend was 20 years ago. I'm too fucked up to reconnect with old friends and too anxious to make new ones. Being alone is easier but still painful

 

[SuzeWantsOut]

All alone, everywhere all the time. Like Job Joad I go to movies and concerts alone. I'm of an age where I won't make any new friends.

God, that's me. Gifted front row seats to a very popular show and I went alone, feeling like such an ass.

I'd like to have friends but I have too many secrets. People freak when they hear suicide attempt. Or sex worker. I refuse to lie more than I have to just to get through any given day, so unless I can be completely open, it would not be friendship to me.

I once felt totally humiliated at a grocery store chit chatting with a girl who worked there and was always so friendly. I missed my children so much, so so so much, so I often asked about her baby. One day, completely innocent on her part, she said, "You're always here by yourself! Where's your family?" I felt like a freak. So awful. What? I'm going to tell her my family has designated me as the scapegoat? That they laugh about my suicide attempt? That I earn my living with sex work because I made horrible choices for husbands?

I can't. So I go to concerts alone (not that I could right now, anyway, can't get out of bed). Shop alone. Have Xmas dinner alone. (If I even bother) Always always alone. Unless men want to try to use me, and I'm not going there. I don't give away what I sell for a living. Alone. Always.

Its one of the biggest triggers for suicide: isolation, no support network. Yet I can't make myself step out there. I did try, this past summer, after an outdoor womens exercise group ended. There was another woman there who had been friendly all summer, so I got brave and asked if she would want to get together and exercise togetyerk like we had been for three months. The look on her face. My god, knew it easnt me, because it was such a strong reaction and she had been almost too friendly all smjer. But wow, I felt like such a pariah. I want try that again, no thanks.

 

[The Eeyorish One]

I used to at least try to have friends but I've given that up. When I did try, I'd have like 1-5 friends, all from online spaces related to video games. Eventually they'd grow tired of me or the game and move on. Longest friendship I had was 3 years.

 

[outatime_85]

No friends.

Even in a crowd, I am alone.

I do not have the skills to make bonds or hold together friendships, etc., and so I will most likely never have them.

 

[StolenLife]

I haven't had any for ten years at this point. But it's no suprise as I'm too fucked up at this point and too far gone and I realistically have nothing good to offer.

 

[akirat9]

no friends here.
is ok because i can focus on ファイナルキズメットー more. i ok with being alone, my chronic suicide not come from no friend

 

[Hirokami]

I have acquaintances, sure, but no one I can really call a friend. This is intentional as I'm an extreme introvert. Most of the things I do (single-player gaming, reading, listening to music, and so on) are introverted by nature. Having too many people in my life would get in the way of that and tire me out. Not to mention, I generally don't trust people as they tend to piss me off one way or another.

 

[earshurt]

The closest I ever got to having a close-knit circle of friends IRL was in elementary school, when I had a group I sat with at lunch but almost never talked to. The one time they invited me to a sleepover was the most transcendent social experience of my life.

I basically have only one true IRL friend, that is now exclusively an online friend because our medical conditions keep us both indoors.

The most success I've had making "friends" has been online. However these "friends" either stop talking to me after we're done talking about our mutual interest, or prove to be fake as hell. I had to abandon an online social circle I knew for 10 years because they decided to get all circular firing squad on me. Shit sucks.

 

[JamesUK]

I'm an adult virgin but then I read about those that never kissed a girl. Thats another league. It implies a completely failed life, but only if you let it be that.

I don't think it's necessarily a completely failed life, but definitely 90% or so.

Of course some people end up kissing and dating people they're not into out of desperation, so even kissing and such is still a bit of a failure if there's no chemistry. On the other hand, actual romance where both people live each other just sounds so incredible that it seems especially tragic to miss out on it completely (and not even come close).

I hate thinking how many better a pleasant experience in my day could be if shared with someone special. In fact I expect they'd even make bad experiences seem much less so.

 

[standbyme]

this is the main reason i'm considering ctb. having friends is a necessity and when you don't have that it's very hard to stay sane.

 

[brokenworld]

Totally me. Have never had an actual friend that i feel connected to. just acquantances. and even those don't exist now. i'm 23M if u wanna be friends (or see what we have in common).

 

[makethepainstop]

Just like you 0 friends, it sux!

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I have had friends before, but they didn't stick around. They were weak-willed and flighty people.

This video comes to mind when I think of them.

Halleluyer!!!