Discussion Anyone else visualizing CTB to calm themselves/overcome SI?

[Backwood_tilt]

I'm going to go by exit bag method. Lately, when i've started to feel the stress of my life really eat at my core, i have been imagining taking my last breaths before i pull the exit bag over my head.

Deep, full exhale. Bag comes down. Deep full inhale.

This has been really helpful and soothing, and will hopefully make me more prepared for when the moment finally comes.

I know many folks have talked about finding relief juts in having their SN with them. Anyone else doing something similar as they prepare to CTB?

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I think about suicide everyday 24/7.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

It's pretty well known that completions have practiced and/or scouted out the site and/or heavily visualized things if access to the site is going to be a one time thing.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

It's pretty well known that completions have practiced and/or scouted out the site and/or heavily visualized things if access to the site is going to be a one time thing.

Yup, (imaginary) practice makes perfect. When i first came on this site i don't think i picked up quickly enough about this, but like everything else in life visualization and practice is everything.

 

[seho_j]

Thinking about suicide is pretty much a habit for me now, but not sure it really helps with SI for me. It can be soothing at times, though!

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Yup, (imaginary) practice makes perfect. When i first came on this site i don't think i picked up quickly enough about this, but like everything else in life visualization and practice is everything.

Yeah, from practice I'm pretty down for [REDACTED: method 1] but [REDACTED: method 2] is still terrifying even with visualization. That said, life is even scarier ...

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I've recently read a bit about suicide and theres a theory called "interpersonal theory of suicide", which lists three main factors which, if all come together at a given time, make a person kill themselves. They are:

1. perceived loneliness (aloneness/alienation)
2. perceived burdensomeness
3. acquired capability

Acquired capability is: one, having the materials and knowledge and, importantly, two, the gradual desensitization to pain and self injury (through actual self injury, affective blunting through trauma, fantasy, etc...).

I thought this might be interesting to you since this last point seems to be what stops most people from going through with it and what you seem to try to do by playing it through in your head again and again.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Your post

Joiner theory

Preventing loneliness is the main preventive factor

 

[BPD Barbie]

For me, when stuff goes wrong, it's like, 'well I'll be dead soon anyway'.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

For me, when stuff goes wrong, it's like, 'well I'll be dead soon anyway'.

Man, I tell myself "the pain will end soon" constantly

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Joiner theory

Preventing loneliness is the main preventive factor

Exactly! Totally overlooked your post.

Okay, I stand corrected. Seems only logical that loneliness is the worst out of the three since being a burden to people while still being accepted by them isn't as bad as being lonely without being a burden on anyone (which also means there's no one you could be a burden to anyway).

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Exactly! Totally overlooked your post.

Okay, I stand corrected. Seems only logical that loneliness is the worst out of the three since being a burden to people while still being accepted by them isn't as bad as being lonely without being a burden on anyone (which also means there's no one you could be a burden to anyway).

Wasn't trying to slam you. Interventions are primarily aimed at making people feel included in society, since acclimation to violence is not addressable and the feeling of burden is a more tricky issue.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Makes sense. Especially bad for people whose sense of loneliness is irrational and persistent, like BPD sufferers.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I've recently read a bit about suicide and theres a theory called "interpersonal theory of suicide", which lists three main factors which, if all come together at a given time, make a person kill themselves. They are:

1. perceived loneliness (aloneness/alienation)
2. perceived burdensomeness
3. acquired capability

Acquired capability is: one, having the materials and knowledge and, importantly, two, the gradual desensitization to pain and self injury (through actual self injury, affective blunting through trauma, fantasy, etc...).

I thought this might be interesting to you since this last point seems to be what stops most people from going through with it and what you seem to try to do by playing it through in your head again and again.

you posted that FSU article, right? I read that and was linking that to others in this forum cause i found it so helpful

 

[DepressedAngel]

I used to do this a lot. Just knowing that I was able to find the right spot for partial suspension and knew how to set everything up helped me get through the day. Whenever something went wrong I would think, I could try and fix this, or, I could ctb. And then I would think about partial suspension and SN even though I don't have anything for the SN method haha. I don't do it as much anymore since I am trying to recover, but I definitely know how it feels to, and I know how much it made me spiral but also helped me get through my day.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

you posted that FSU article, right? I read that and was linking that to others in this forum cause i found it so helpful

Nope can't remember posting any articles ^^

 

[porfin1234]

I now think about it constantly. I can't stop. I don't feel like I will make it past 33 even if I know that doing it will be extremely hard... I just do not see me continuing this path I've taken. I even fantasize about the after math, me finally being gone, and get almost a sort of peace from it. It's disturbing... but it feels right.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

All the time....