Anyone else not care if its painful anymore?

[PapaYeehaw]

I've tried hanging plenty of times and failed so I'm at a point where I just wanna wrap my whole face and then wrists with duct tape, even if it means suffering, because I want to die so badly. Anyone else feel this way? I know I'll probably be too scared to ever do it, but I'm hoping if I get drunk enough I'll be able to overcome that fear.

 

[KillingPain267]

Even being drunk does not help me overcome SI and fear of pain

 

[hopemeetshopeless]

its kind of funny for me. I'm pretty much as much of an atheist as you can be, but I was raised Christian (adopted by a preacher). I haven't believed in god since I was a kid, but recently things have gotten so bad that I literally pray to a god that I don't believe in every night as I fall asleep that I won't wake up the next day. IDC how painful or terrible a way. Russia could drop a nuke, I could have an aneurism or heart attack, get hit by a truck I really don't care anymore. I just need to be dead

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

For me the worst it gets the less I care about how I go.

 

[Timothy7dff]

Yeah....pretty funny to hear people commenting on the taste of SN. That's not even in my top 100 list of concerns. I feel VERY lucky to have SN & CO.

Jumping from heights is very, very difficult. For people that didn't grow up with guns, a firearm is also very difficult.

I can't imagine feeling like this (or worse) forever.

 

[Iva]

Well yeah if you want to CTB there is a threshold of pain you MUST push through before you can make it there. Why be afraid of it? Older people get diseases and their physical body is slowly crushed and destroyed by sicknesses and injuries. A normal death from old age is just that same amount of pain but stretched out over months or years. You are strong enough now to endure the pain of asphyxiation, but later on in life you may not be strong enough to endure the pain of your body slowly crumbling apart.

 

[PapaYeehaw]

Well yeah if you want to CTB there is a threshold of pain you MUST push through before you can make it there. Why be afraid of it? Older people get diseases and their physical body is slowly crushed and destroyed by sicknesses and injuries. A normal death from old age is just that same amount of pain but stretched out over months or years. You are strong enough now to endure the pain of asphyxiation, but later on in life you may not be strong enough to endure the pain of your body slowly crumbling apart.

So true. I'd much rather take it into my own hands in a way that is faster and won't leave my family in crippling medical debt.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yeah i need to be Dead and not existent forever soon, very soon. I want non-existence and to escape this evil hell prison nightmare of a world and evil life.

hopefully i can shoot myself with this shotgun soon :

 

[sevennn]

Well yeah if you want to CTB there is a threshold of pain you MUST push through before you can make it there. Why be afraid of it? Older people get diseases and their physical body is slowly crushed and destroyed by sicknesses and injuries. A normal death from old age is just that same amount of pain but stretched out over months or years. You are strong enough now to endure the pain of asphyxiation, but later on in life you may not be strong enough to endure the pain of your body slowly crumbling apart.

that is a good thing to tell myself. i'm afraid of a little SN due to acid issues. but vomiting for a little while, a bad stomachache..? is worth never being here again. there is much greater pain around the corner. i can always drink another glass. and another. until i'm done here

 

[d4isy]

yeah i've been thinking about waterboarding as a method. i don't even care if it hurts. i'm so done with life.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I've tried hanging plenty of times and failed so I'm at a point where I just wanna wrap my whole face and then wrists with duct tape, even if it means suffering, because I want to die so badly. Anyone else feel this way? I know I'll probably be too scared to ever do it, but I'm hoping if I get drunk enough I'll be able to overcome that fear.

Pain is less important to me then risk of injuries if it fails, ability to pull it off, and I've felt God's punishment for me will be seeing what my life would be like if I didn't. If my life doesn't ever change and just gets worse which is an incredibly real and probably most likely possibly. How can your life get better without support, family, friends, or opportunities. I'm pretty sure it is impossible. But I don't want it to be shown I would have lived a good life if I had just waited and I just needed to go through a little more hell. Then again I don't want to keep going through hell for more hell. A large part of me feels like I am just here to suffer because that's all I am doing is suffering and I don't want that either. When do you decide all your good moments or gone and it's time to end it? It's a difficult call to make. That said I've said this before and I meant it then as I do now. I am so so sick of suffering for nothing. I have so little and I am suffering so much. I just want it to be over. And if good things don't happen soon God will have to beg my forgiveness.

 

[Chaosire]

I feel like it's because of my previous attempts, which were rather painful, that I want to go without much pain now.
I have a high pain limit and I've done painful attempts in the past. It's just harder to take the step to ctb again, as I have a hard time making the decision to put myself through that again.

Unless it's a very impulsive attempt, it's going to be inert gas or euthanasia for me. Or SN, if I can get my hands on it, tho even that one sounds a bit sketchy to me

 

[IM3DUS4]

the method i chose is also very very painfull (kcl injection) but from what i read, it is effective. and the pain starts after it is too late, so i can't stop myself anymore.
it was also the easiest thing to get for me so these are the reasons i choose this. idc about the pain, as long as it is a first try succes

 

[lawlietsph]

Yes I feel the same. To be honest, the pain I feel in my soul and in my brain is so much worse than any physical pain I've experienced before.
But I'm the same, still not having the strength to ctb, and I don't know why.
I wish someone would come and shoot me in the head or something.

 

[Chex]

Even being drunk does not help me overcome SI and fear of pain

True, thought I'd have the ability to hang myself piss drunk but the survival instinct or some shit was still there for me.

 

[IkaXo]

Getting hold of SN or other more intricate method is near impossible for me so I have no choice but to endure pain. I'm considering later this year to jump, my IQ is very low I'm really dumb and stupid for my age so if that doesn't kill me, another one of my bad decisions would.

 

[AllTheseQuestions]

It's not so much that I don't care about pain but that I think I deserve it.

I have thought about getting a Jerry can full of petrol and dousing my car in it, then racing down a stretch of road and crashing into something. I know of a road not too far from me that is pretty much straight and is very quiet in the early hours.

I think I just want my body to be incinerated, as if I never existed.

Can't believe I'm typing this stuff out but here we are.

 

[Sadgirl121]

Well yeah if you want to CTB there is a threshold of pain you MUST push through before you can make it there. Why be afraid of it? Older people get diseases and their physical body is slowly crushed and destroyed by sicknesses and injuries. A normal death from old age is just that same amount of pain but stretched out over months or years. You are strong enough now to endure the pain of asphyxiation, but later on in life you may not be strong enough to endure the pain of your body slowly crumbling apart.

This resonates so well with me, while I haven't made an attempt Ive been doing my research, and trying to figure out the best way to go when I want to, I don't want to go old and in pain, I want to go in my terms.

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Personally I've never been worried about the prospect of physical pain. It's the SI that terrifies me. Have had death anxiety from an attempt before and it was extremely unpleasant.

 

[maynoname]

I'm not afraid of SN, the taste, vomiting, whatever… Only afraid of failure. This is really my only fear.

 

[TAW122]

I will say that I do care about pain because it could affect how I execute my method or my stupid biological instinct, called the SI will kick in and make things worse or complicated for me. Ultimately, I want it to either be painless and quick (firearm) or painless but comfortable (poisons like SN, or inert gases like CO, N2, etc.).

Also I concur with @Iva that old age is just drawn out suffering through the years of disease and illnesses, thus I'd prefer to die younger than later.