Anyone else no longer care if their death hurts other people?

[woofwag]

It's my life and my misery. I'm tired of being guilt tripped to live by people who say "people care about you." Ok and? They're also going to die someday. If my death hurts them, that's their deal, not mine. I've been hurting enough trying to appease their feelings. It's my turn to be at peace now.

 

[aufrechtm7]

Everyone who's ever told me that turned out to be incredibly shallow and mostly self interested. Sure loss hurts, but most people learn that lesson at a young age and should be pretty well equipped to move forward in time.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I wouldn't say I don't care.

But I feel like being a bit selfish/ruthless on something like this, is actually perfectly understandable considering we are the ones that have to endure our lives and bare the burden. But I do find it difficult to completely turn off my feelings/emotions tbh. Sometimes I wish I could, but I know it's not realy possible for me.

 

[lawlietsph]

Yes, almost. I will always care because i'm the biggest empath of the planet, but to be honest they've hurt me so goddamn much that I am not able to keep their emotions in consideration anymore.
I've been asking for help many times in many different ways, and i've only met with ignorance, anger, or even more hurt.

They will be better off without me. I'm confident that my death is going to be a shock for 2-3 days, then all the people are going to move on and quickly forget about me. I was never important enough, mostly just used especially by my family. They like me because they can ask me to do anything and i will do it, and i listen to everyone's problems, but that's all. I'm not important, never was, and never will be.

 

[pax420]

Yes, almost. I will always care because i'm the biggest empath of the planet, but to be honest they've hurt me so goddamn much that I am not able to keep their emotions in consideration anymore.
I've been asking for help many times in many different ways, and i've only met with ignorance, anger, or even more hurt.

They will be better off without me. I'm confident that my death is going to be a shock for 2-3 days, then all the people are going to move on and quickly forget about me. I was never important enough, mostly just used especially by my family. They like me because they can ask me to do anything and i will do it, and i listen to everyone's problems, but that's all. I'm not important, never was, and never will be.

Everyone of us is important!

 

[metfan647]

I'll put myself in that category.

 

[pax420]

The only one who I cared enough to worry about not hurting died two years ago. The rest of my family doesn't know if I'm alive or dead now anyway. The few friends I have left know me and know what I go thru every day and wouldn't blame me for ctb. I guess that's everybody. So I guess no, I don't care!

 

[worthIess]

never did care. we were all involuntarily thrust into existence

 

[kopebaldy]

I would say half half, I care about people's feelings, just not enough to affect my decision on whether to CTB.

 

[dhk96]

Everyone who's ever told me that turned out to be incredibly shallow and mostly self interested. Sure loss hurts, but most people learn that lesson at a young age and should be pretty well equipped to move forward in time.

I understand the point of your post and agree that the reasoning is very shallow, but I can only imagine a health professional obnoxiously flipping the script and using that last part against someone who never became well equipped to move forward and wants to CTB because they never wanted to experience loss

"Think about the people who care about you."

"Aw, shucks! Well, death is inevitable and they've lived long enough to grow accustomed to it so they can suck it."

"Uno reverse card. Why can't you accept that death is a natural part of life then? It's normal to be afraid but you shouldn't let the fear consumer you. Let's go learn some CBT skills instead of thinking about how to CTB! "

 

[impossible_victory]

Yeah i never cared but i live alove

 

[Arvayn]

Never cared, honestly. Whenever I consider the prospect of dying and tell myself "But your friends would be so sad!", it just gets countered right back with "You'll be too dead to care or be affected by it.".

 

[jbleakness]

We are forgotten about so quickly it really won't matter in the end.

 

[idkwatimdoinghere]

I always think about my little brother and say "im gonna live for him because he wont understand" but i find myself exhibiting thrill seeking behaviours that endanger myself. So i know on the inside that idgaf and only use that as an excuse to not actually commit because of fear

It's my life and my misery. I'm tired of being guilt tripped to live by people who say "people care about you." Ok and? They're also going to die someday. If my death hurts them, that's their deal, not mine. I've been hurting enough trying to appease their feelings. It's my turn to be at peace now.

 

[ThePollinator]

I hate to say this, but they'll get over it, and if they don't they can also ctb. God, I feel so evil saying that. I'm just too tired to care anymore, I need to get out of here

 

[CenturiesEnd]

I don't think it'll hurt anyone. For the few people in my life, it'll be like a weight taken off their shoulders. At least I can be grateful for that…

 

[whitherrvbound]

The last 1 or 2 years ive been trying to come in peace with that sometimes i wish my family disowned me so i could get through with it easily. But at the same time i tried to keep pushing by blackmailing myself visioning the aftermath of my death how their lives gonna shatter i fucking shattered myself even more with the thought of that it worked for a while but yeah its been a long time coming and they know it. I was transparent as much as i can the whole time so my only hope that they would be emphatetic cause all these fucking years man they corrode you even further its a sunk cost fallacy to keep going and time only solidified this thesis at least for me

 

[aufrechtm7]

I understand the point of your post and agree that the reasoning is very shallow, but I can only imagine a health professional obnoxiously flipping the script and using that last part against someone who never became well equipped to move forward and wants to CTB because they never wanted to experience loss

"Think about the people who care about you."

"Aw, shucks! Well, death is inevitable and they've lived long enough to grow accustomed to it so they can suck it."

"Uno reverse card. Why can't you accept that death is a natural part of life then? It's normal to be afraid but you shouldn't let the fear consumer you. Let's go learn some CBT skills instead of thinking about how to CTB! "

Totally fair response! That response would probably call for some kind of morality debate which is a whole other can of worms.

 

[hitagi-crab]

This is a horrible thing but I think a part of me hopes that it does hurt some people. Not even just the people who abused me, but people who forgot about me or discarded me or just didn't care about me as much as I cared about them. But I have a cruel streak I think, so that's just me.

 

[Fakethyself]

Yeah, it's almost tiring.

Been called selfish and being guilty tripped for not taking my close one's feelings.


But I just want to be done with everyone and everything.

Life truly is tiring

 

[Macedonian1987]

My parents are so cold, non-comforting and so ignorant of my suffering. I stayed alive for so long because of them. I'm 38 now, if it weren't for them I would have ctb 10-12 years ago.

I cannot take it any more. I will probably ctb this summer.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Not anymore.

The majority of people in broader society are strangers, and it is likely that they either do not know us or just do not care about us, so why should we (or I) care about them? This may sound harsh, but given that I am worn out after years of trying to be loyal, and being rejected, I have started to care less and less. My close or old friends (those who I would not want to upset) are no longer around, and have probably forgotten about me which is totally fine. There are only three people who I see regularly, and who are also family members, but I have never felt too much of a connection to two of them - they do not even know me.

 

[joey2424]

I have a 2 year old niece. She won't understand right now. But her mom will go through a period of intense grief. I do feel terribly that I might affect their happy family. My sister doesn't deserve to be hurt this way, but I know she will recover eventually. It definitely factors into the equation.

 

[aisakataiga]

Dont care if they will get hurt emotionally,but I'll feel bad for the people who will clean up after i do it or be put in danger because of it

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Here's something that may help you set apart the trash from the decent: The fact that people try to steer suicidal people off of it is a clear display of dependency, either emotional or otherwise. It shows how many people are leeching off you the moment you risk severing that link. Take that opportunity to think about which of those people actually give back what they take away from you. That's how you differentiate genuine human connections to scummy leeches disguising as people.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I love my family, but living a whole life is a big ask. I just want the pain to stop.