Anyone else in a similar situation?

[PyolaR]

I'll try make this as brief and clear as I can. I've been riddled with akathisia since November 2022. Got put on Baclofen which rid me of it instantly. 4 months after starting baclofen it started to creep back in but was very bearable. 3 ½ years later, now when I get severe bouts of it, every bout is progressively getting worse. No known trigger, no drugs, no smoking/vaping, no drinking absolutely T total on everything apart from pharmaceuticals (Mirtazapine 45mg x1/day, Baclofen 10mg x3/day & Pregabalin 50mg X2/day).

There are 0 words that will ever exist to explain the trauma & debilitating suffering this condition causes. I'm that severely unwell with it and lacking energy that I've used AI to come up write me a suicide note for my family as I don't have the capacity to do it myself which hurts so bad considering how much I want to tailor it in my own way so people know it's from me and worded like me. I am terrified of suffering while CTB but one of these days soon I will have the courage, I can feel the courage gradually building up in me.

I'm trying to find the part of this site that lists the methods etc but I'm suffering that bad I don't have the peace to focus and find it. Can someone please direct me.

Thank you.

 

[Le temps perdu]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

I'm not sure whether sending this link directly counts as "help," but I hope your situation can improve. Whatever decision you ultimately make, I hope you think it through carefully and find a sense of inner peace.

 

[2muchpain2]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Most of us are dealing with this sort of thing, at varying degrees. We do have threads in here that talk about methods, and non methods you just have to look for them. Members aren't really supposed to "help" others with suicide. I want you to know that I too am struggling the same way you are and I'm desperate to get out. Hugs to you.

 

[Abandoned Character]

If we could enter a domain of play for a moment:

If you allowed this condition to "do its worse," what would happen?

I may sound esoteric here, but your condition reminds me of this

 

[volo]

That's terrible to hear, I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering so much. I had it for some time, medicine induced- and it's Soo bad…. Maybe try again to adjust your meds. MIrtazapine is more calming at lowest doses, I use that to sleep. Maybe switch to benzos. Try, try anything! But that is god awful, I'm so sorry you're going through it, it's truly is unbearable.

 

[telekon]

I'll try make this as brief and clear as I can. I've been riddled with akathisia since November 2022. Got put on Baclofen which rid me of it instantly. 4 months after starting baclofen it started to creep back in but was very bearable. 3 ½ years later, now when I get severe bouts of it, every bout is progressively getting worse. No known trigger, no drugs, no smoking/vaping, no drinking absolutely T total on everything apart from pharmaceuticals (Mirtazapine 45mg x1/day, Baclofen 10mg x3/day & Pregabalin 50mg X2/day).

There are 0 words that will ever exist to explain the trauma & debilitating suffering this condition causes. I'm that severely unwell with it and lacking energy that I've used AI to come up write me a suicide note for my family as I don't have the capacity to do it myself which hurts so bad considering how much I want to tailor it in my own way so people know it's from me and worded like me. I am terrified of suffering while CTB but one of these days soon I will have the courage, I can feel the courage gradually building up in me.

I'm trying to find the part of this site that lists the methods etc but I'm suffering that bad I don't have the peace to focus and find it. Can someone please direct me.

Thank you.

It's the mirtazapine. You need to stop taking it immediately and get on a special diet and it will go away. You can dm me and I will give you the contact of someone who might be able to help you or I can just give you the diet.

Mirtazapine Induced Akathisia: Understanding a Complex Mechanism - PMC

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[volo]

It's the mirtazapine. You need to stop taking it immediately and get on a special diet and it will go away. You can dm me and I will give you the contact of someone who might be able to help you or I can just give you the diet.

Mirtazapine Induced Akathisia: Understanding a Complex Mechanism - PMC

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Can they quit mirtazapine just cold turkey or do they need to taper it?
Definitely a great idea, TY for trying to help them…

 

[telekon]

Can they quit mirtazapine just cold turkey or do they need to taper it?
Definitely a great idea, TY for trying to help them…

Normally no but the diets are neurotransmitter-heavy diets that mimic the effects of antidepressants/antipsychotics etc. to counteract whatever withdrawal you might have. It's more than just a diet though.

I think the withdrawal is mostly cold sweat/insomnia/nightmares but suicide and akathisia should be the priority here.

 

[volo]

Normally no but the diets are neurotransmitter-heavy diets that mimic the effects of antidepressants/antipsychotics etc. to counteract whatever withdrawal you might have. It's more than just a diet though.

I think the withdrawal is mostly cold sweat/insomnia/nightmares but suicide and akathisia should be the priority here.

Right, definitely. I think i saw on here that people w akathisa are known to ctb due to it. Not sure if it's true.

 

[inpainnosleep]

I'll try make this as brief and clear as I can. I've been riddled with akathisia since November 2022. Got put on Baclofen which rid me of it instantly. 4 months after starting baclofen it started to creep back in but was very bearable. 3 ½ years later, now when I get severe bouts of it, every bout is progressively getting worse. No known trigger, no drugs, no smoking/vaping, no drinking absolutely T total on everything apart from pharmaceuticals (Mirtazapine 45mg x1/day, Baclofen 10mg x3/day & Pregabalin 50mg X2/day).

There are 0 words that will ever exist to explain the trauma & debilitating suffering this condition causes. I'm that severely unwell with it and lacking energy that I've used AI to come up write me a suicide note for my family as I don't have the capacity to do it myself which hurts so bad considering how much I want to tailor it in my own way so people know it's from me and worded like me. I am terrified of suffering while CTB but one of these days soon I will have the courage, I can feel the courage gradually building up in me.

I'm trying to find the part of this site that lists the methods etc but I'm suffering that bad I don't have the peace to focus and find it. Can someone please direct me.

Thank you.

Yes, with the aka, and very importantly other "benign" and "non-progressive" neurological issues that I won't die from but will probably end up committing CBT from. It's incredible how much I have been dismissed and gaslit by my doctors also. Constantly getting sent from neurology to psychiatry and from psychiatry to neurology. And my PCP keeps blocking any attempts from trying to seek a second opinion because I already have specialists who are "helping" me. I have been angry at doctors for a long time, but this has been on a whole other level. Like one of my neuro conditions won't let me transition into sleep (myoclonus.) My body jerks me awake every time my brain tries to make a transition. It's really rare for it to be as bad as it is for me. So doctors give zero fucks if it lets me get zero sleep. I am sorry for what you are going through.

 

[telekon]

Yes, with the aka, and very importantly other "benign" and "non-progressive" neurological issues that I won't die from but will probably end up committing CBT from. It's incredible how much I have been dismissed and gaslit by my doctors also. Constantly getting sent from neurology to psychiatry and from psychiatry to neurology. And my PCP keeps blocking any attempts from trying to seek a second opinion because I already have specialists who are "helping" me. I have been angry at doctors for a long time, but this has been on a whole other level. Like one of my neuro conditions won't let me transition into sleep (myoclonus.) My body jerks me awake every time my brain tries to make a transition. It's really rare for it to be as bad as it is for me. So doctors give zero fucks if it lets me get zero sleep. I am sorry for what you are going through.

I want people to know that pharmaceutical industry as a whole gives zero fucks about you. Doctors too are just pawns in their game and they're not all bad, but they are all ignorant.

 

[inpainnosleep]

I want people to know that pharmaceutical industry as a whole gives zero fucks about you. Doctors too are just pawns in their game and they're not all bad, but they are all ignorant.

Hard agree about the pharmasutical industry, but I have had really bad experiences with doctors also. If doctors think that you have mental health issues, even when you have very legetimite physical issues, they will dismiss you and send you to psychiatry. Also, if you have government insurance, they will recommend completely unnecessary procedures, or do everything in their power to milk the insurance. As somebody who has a conscience and feels guilty easily, I know that I never would have been able to be a doctor.