Anyone else gonna CTB because of PTSD

[puzlewillburn]

Grew up with undiagnosed psychosis and suffered without anti-psychotics for 15 years which left me broken and traumatized. This is leaving me with CTB as my only way out of a life full of terror where i relive my past psychosis experiences everyday. Anyone suffering from something similar?

 

[divinemistress87]

Havent been through psychosis but yes ptsd is a big reason I want to ctb

 

[hopeless-believer]

Not with the psychosis, albeit I have had episodes of psychotic symptoms due to being given antipsychotics on and off when I have complex PTSD instead.

It's not easy reliving things, or struggling with rumination, overthinking one's own past can really halt forward progression, and keep one stuck.

Have you been able to speak to anyone who specialises in trauma, a trauma therapist maybe, who could help you process these things. Know that your feelings are valid, you are not alone. And there's no shame in your past, struggling with mental health makes us each do or not do things we wish we could take away.

 

[Santana Idaho]

I have CPTSD. I never had a chance. I don't think I should feel too worthless about it. People like me have come and gone since time immemorial. Sucks to be one of them, but everyone has their place.

 

[ramon]

I don't know if I have PTSD or C-PTSD.

All I know is that any pleasant day can be interrupted by horrible vivid memories from the past (mentally/psychologically abuse done by/to me) accompanied by their respective faithful horrible feelings (fear, anger, sadness, or guilt).

These memories will torment me throughout the day and the feelings associated to such memories will ruin any present moment/event for me. I will engage in SH that causes enough pain that will make me forget such unwanted thoughts and make the emotions associated to such events go away (for a while).

These memories can be easily triggered by (accidental) exposure to smells, sounds, words, images or situations that resemble those of such past events.

No success with medication and counseling from psychiatrists.

I will (hopefully) see you at the bus stop.

 

[CantTurnBack]

During my intake with the psychiatrist I was told my anxiety is likely stemming from PTSD.

Sure, a lifetime of trauma could make you wish you never existed.

 

[puzlewillburn]

Not with the psychosis, albeit I have had episodes of psychotic symptoms due to being given antipsychotics on and off when I have complex PTSD instead.

It's not easy reliving things, or struggling with rumination, overthinking one's own past can really halt forward progression, and keep one stuck.

Have you been able to speak to anyone who specialises in trauma, a trauma therapist maybe, who could help you process these things. Know that your feelings are valid, you are not alone. And there's no shame in your past, struggling with mental health makes us each do or not do things we wish we could take away.

Yea i have seen trauma therapists but most tell me they cannot start working on my trauma with things like EMDR until my functionality improves and have better coping strategies. They say I will get retraumatized if i try EMDR now. Kinda frustrating cuz the terror i feel everyday makes it hard to do anything.

I don't know if I have PTSD or C-PTSD.

All I know is that any pleasant day can be interrupted by horrible vivid memories from the past (mentally/psychologically abuse done by/to me) accompanied by their respective faithful horrible feelings (fear, anger, sadness, or guilt).

These memories will torment me throughout the day and the feelings associated to such memories will ruin any present moment/event for me. I will engage in SH that causes enough pain that will make me forget such unwanted thoughts and make the emotions associated to such events go away (for a while).

These memories can be easily triggered by (accidental) exposure to smells, sounds, words, images or situations that resemble those of such past events.

No success with medication and counseling from psychiatrists.

I will (hopefully) see you at the bus stop.

Yea counseling and psychiatrists are a big joke. Been seeing them since I was 10 and didn't get properly diagnosed till 6 months ago. And their bullshit medication doesn't work even with the right diagnosis. I will hopefully see you at the bus stop as well my friend.

 

[divinemistress87]

Yea i have seen trauma therapists but most tell me they cannot start working on my trauma with things like EMDR until my functionality improves and have better coping strategies. They say I will get retraumatized if i try EMDR now. Kinda frustrating cuz the terror i feel everyday makes it hard to do anything.

Yea counseling and psychiatrists are a big joke. Been seeing them since I was 10 and didn't get properly diagnosed till 6 months ago. And their bullshit medication doesn't work even with the right diagnosis. I will hopefully see you at the bus stop as well my friend.

Im having the same problem therapists wouldnt start emdr until I had better coping strategies its fustrating since I hear emdr is the only thing that helps .

 

[badatparties]

Yeah i think i have CPTSD. I can never forget stuff that happened to me and i can't forgive myself for some stuff that i did. Then you add in the shitty behavior of humanity in general and i've just developed a misanthropy that seems almost impossible to cure.

Our track record as a species is disgusting and we do horrible shit to each other everyday. I don't really know how anyone feels comfortable in a society like this.

I'm constantly paranoid and afraid others will eventually hurt me or something bad will happen. I think hyper vigilance is definitely a sign of PTSD.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

My previous therapist said I probably have developed complex trauma after my second girlfriend did to me the same thing as my first girlfriend: immediately replace me for another man.

I'm done. I buried everything about my first ex, erased her from my memory, scorched earth. I promised myself I'd never do that again with someone I love. I tried my best. I was hoping that I'd finally find someone good after all that pain and after several fruitless efforts during the next 7 years after she broke up with me. I worked on me, became the best version of myself. And it wasn't enough. I fell in love, I did my best, and I got replaced again for a man who's the antithesis of who I am. And it's worked wonders for my ex, she's happy, she's changing. Life rewards her and I'm stuck with a wound that feels like being raped for a second time.

Please, God, give me back my michi or end my suffering.

 

[pauly369]

I have cptsd due to abuse I suffered as a child.
I just cant get what happened to me out of my head.