Anyone else doesn't see what's left worth salvaging in life and that death seems preferable to a life of mediocrity.

[Exhausted546]

In the first place it's been months that I knew I either had to lock in like crazy or die, half-assing and procrastination would only make the walls close in on me.

The walls are closed in. I barely applied to jobs,didn't study,homelessness in 2 weeks.

I have a friend who's also suicidal that suggested I move in with her and we both try our best one last time instead of giving up already. Part of me is tempted, but then I ask myself,what for? What's the end goal? Only a life of mediocrity awaits me, I prefer death to that.

My only remaining excuse that led me to procrastinate Ctb is that the woods are flooded due to the melted snow. I'll buy rain boots today so that won't be an issue anymore.

Each year that passes,my mediocrity is increasingly tragic and pathetic both in my eyes and the eyes of the world. My dignity only diminishes. Additionally,I feel more comfortable dying now at 31 with a tiny bit of dignity remaining than in my 40s as a pariah of society

 

[cluefixphantom]

I haven't anything to accomplish either imo, except seeking justice, but that's legally really difficult. In my country, Germany, there's no real victim support. Laws are made by the rich, offenders. You're just left to handle everything alone, especially if your poor. I'm also very sorry that you're threatened with homelessness. I'm always on the brink myself. Thanks to my parents, other relatives who don't build any financial security web and because of the society. Everything costs money, it's crazy that my parents who are low-wage slaves or unemployed had the chance to procreate. I only have physical and socioeconomic disadvantages. It's a human rights violation. I die because of these two stupid humans who are such losers and need to endure their shitty genetics and strangers that bullied me for it.

 

[truehappiness]

I haven't anything to accomplish either imo, except seeking justice, but that's legally really difficult. In my country, Germany, there's no real victim support. Laws are made by the rich, offenders. You're just left to handle everything alone, especially if your poor. I'm also very sorry that you're threatened with homelessness. I'm always on the brink myself. Thanks to my parents, other relatives who don't build any financial security web and because of the society. Everything costs money, it's crazy that my parents who are low-wage slaves or unemployed had the chance to procreate. I only have physical and socioeconomic disadvantages. It's a human rights violation. I die because of these two stupid humans who are such losers and need to endure their shitty genetics and strangers that bullied me for it.

Hey also german here!
Also really doesn't help that we only get one trash poltician after the next.

Die Linke never ever got their chance so far to make a proper change although they had some effect in some decisions.
Have been a member for over a year now and I don't see any hope politically for Germany. I am sure that we will enter a new Nazi Age very soon...

Well. And the justice you are speaking of is probably related to SA, huh? Especially in germany vicitims of SA or outright rape do not get any justice in any way.
Patriarchy is still to this day extremely strong in Germany and I have to admit that I do not see any way that this will change in the future.

I am currently just trying to find a partner that wants to join me in exiting. Pretty damn hard I have to admit... But yeah, as soon as I find someone I am out of here ^^

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'd take mediocrity! I can't do ANYTHING now

 

[Exhausted546]

I'd take mediocrity! I can't do ANYTHING now

I guess mediocrity is a spectrum. I feel the same but I also feel like working a shitty job just to struggle to survive as you're wasting away is mediocrity. Most of the human population does it without feeling mediocre,and don't get me wrong,I don't judge them nor think any lesser of them at all. They have a ton more resilience than me.

Personally couldn't,I have several reasons but it is what it is in the end

 

[LetMeOut67]

I think the wealthy and powerful like the idea that millions and millions of us got dragged into this hell without our permission and are forced to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop after hoop from the day we're born to the day we die and we're meant to shut up and be grateful. There really isn't a worse punishment than being born. It's the ultimate torture.

 

[TAW122]

I share very similar sentiments too, and I'm in my mid-30's, but ultimately, the same/similar path too. I kind of just go through the motions of day to day life while I keep in the back of mind that I will just go on my own terms. Of course though, I am waiting until the right moment and circumstance before actually going through with it because I am not risking failure with my method or making my already shitty circumstance even worse.

 

[ovaltinee99]

I think you should try your best one last time if you still have it in you. I tried again and again and that's how I know it's not for me. When I finally ctb, there won't be what ifs.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I guess mediocrity is a spectrum. I feel the same but I also feel like working a shitty job just to struggle to survive as you're wasting away is mediocrity. Most of the human population does it without feeling mediocre,and don't get me wrong,I don't judge them nor think any lesser of them at all. They have a ton more resilience than me.

Personally couldn't,I have several reasons but it is what it is in the end

I always told myself I was so noble that I'd kms rather than be mediocre. Now I've called my own bet--I never spontaneously grew into some great man--and I find I can't do it. It's a horrible in-between, just rotting depression.