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I cut corners here and there (like I won't shave for several days) but unfortunately I'm still a bit vain. I count my calories, I buy nice-ish clothes and I keep up with my haircuts. I just bought a new watch that I can ill afford. I don't know why I care even, but I do. I guess I don't really like to show my internal mess on the outside if I can help it.
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Hennessy, Circles, Morphinekiss and 1 other person
I cut corners here and there (like I won't shave for several days) but unfortunately I'm still a bit vain. I count my calories, I buy nice-ish clothes and I keep up with my haircuts. I just bought a new watch that I can ill afford. I don't know why I care even, but I do. I guess I don't really like to show my internal mess on the outside if I can help it.
I used to have lots of friends, girlfriends etc... It's overrated. We live in a very savage world, today. Every person in your social circle is a potential enemy, nowadays. Perhaps in a different period of time, it would have been nice. But today, I'd rather not surround myself with potential enemies unless I had total control over them, something not really possible with all the silly laws in place today.
I used to have a huge social group, haha, it's all long gone now. Not sure if I see everyone as an enemy, but I do despise almost everyone now. Fair weather friends, fake, shallow... There's still a part of me that wouldn't hesitate to put people against the wall if I were in charge...
Don't have the energy to ruminate now but yeah, different places and times social groups would have been tighter and stronger. It's one of many reasons today's world is fucked up and isolating - we've lost the power of core, meaningful packs
I used to have lots of friends, girlfriends etc... It's overrated. We live in a very savage world, today. Every person in your social circle is a potential enemy, nowadays. Perhaps in a different period of time, it would have been nice. But today, I'd rather not surround myself with potential enemies unless I had total control over them, something not really possible with all the silly laws in place today.
You're right except for one thing: this is how people have always been, since they were still monkeys.
When people talk about the "good old days" they are merely referring to a period of their own lives, before they became aware of how horrible the world really is. But it's always been horrible.
You're right except for one thing: this is how people have always been, since they were still monkeys.
When people talk about the "good old days" they are merely referring to a period of their own lives, before they became aware of how horrible the world really is. But it's always been horrible.
I was thinking, it also feels better to appear in a certain way, to avoid looking like a homeless person or someone who is insane. Because then you will avoid becoming targeted.
I used to care so much about how I present myself. I wouldn't leave the house without makeup for years and my outfits were always coordinated. I'm going to sound vain, but I am attractive; I didn't think that for years, but I've accepted myself and wouldn't want to look any other way. I really can't care for myself anymore. I have absolutely no appetite, which caused me to lose a lot of weight, I don't shower as much, never style my hair/wear makeup, and I wear the most ridiculous things in public. I just have no desire or strength to care for myself, possibly because I'm confident.
I used to care so much about how I present myself. I wouldn't leave the house without makeup for years and my outfits were always coordinated. I'm going to sound vain, but I am attractive; I didn't think that for years, but I've accepted myself and wouldn't want to look any other way. I really can't care for myself anymore. I have absolutely no appetite, which caused me to lose a lot of weight, I don't shower as much, never style my hair/wear makeup, and I wear the most ridiculous things in public. I just have no desire or strength to care for myself, possibly because I'm confident.
Are you vain or just confident? There is difference. Nothing wrong with being confident, other than it triggering people who envy you. Humility should be reserved for those who should be humble. Always being humble is just nonsense from Abrahamic religions. The only thing people should despise is ARROGANCE. And that is when someone is behaving in a way that goes against the natural order. Like an idiot acting like a genius because they have a degree from ____ <- insert university or college. And then telling depressed people, they need Yoga and refusing to accept "No." as an answer. Like someone who has very few qualities but sees himself or herself as hot shit because of some stupid reason or another. Like those women who think they are hot shit because so many guys want to fuck them...in a world where most guys will fuck anything(even each other in prison)... And then get offended when you don't treat them like royalty.
I shower daily; tho when I'm very depressed & down, sometimes I will skip a day. I mean what's point in showering if I didn't even get outta bed. That's maybe once or twice a month. I do try to take decent care of myself, but when I'm doing real bad, there are lots of things I Neglect and taking proper care of my self (eating well, hygiene, & Keeping my home tidy) is certainly one of those things.
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RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Circles and not_a_robot
I try to shower at least two times a week simply cause I couldn't take the embarrassment if my classmates or teaches made comments about how I smell, I'd start crying right there. But if I didn't have school it'd probably be like maybe once a week. Maybe. I usually brush my teeth once a week and I used to have longer hair (almost elbow length) but got a buzz cut cause I didn't want to put in effort anymore. I see no use in dressing up, I have like 3 shirts, 3 pairs of pants and two of shoes (I only buy new ones when the ones I have are really torn), more hoodies though. So I just rotate those. And I almost never shave. It's not like I'm trying to make a good impression anyway. Or any kind of impression really. I don't want to look nice, I want to blend in and not draw attention to myself.
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Circles, not_a_robot, AtomicNewt and 1 other person
Not unpopular at all, great for you! Was one of the few things felt I could control too. Hence feeling like truly have lost everything now, which is one of the things was trying to explain.
Don't care about a pretty corpse personally, just trying to ensure it's not a traumatic one
I never have and never will let go of my personal hygiene, but I honestly don't care about my appearance as much as I cared on the past. It just feels pointless if I will never be satisfied with my appearance. If I was a millionaire, however, I would be completely obsessed with my appearance and would never stop having plastic surgeries.
In my twenties I was reasonably pretty and even when low always would eat very well, it actually helped give me focus, and had plenty of exercise. As I've always had low self-esteem I would always make sure I thought my clothes looked good together and hair make-up paid attention to, so never minded looking on the mirror. One thing I did think was I looked alright if I didn't always even feel it.
Wow how that's changed. I'm out and about now not having brushed my hair (my hair is elbow length) or teeth for three or four days (I lose track) with quite a ridiculous combination of clothing on, as just getting dressed was hard enough. I haven't been able to stand looking in the mirror for nearly two years. The untreated ptsd and depression/anxiety has led to years of heavy drinking and my face is now permanently puffy and covered in red spider viens. I've almost lost my appetite and take no pleasure in food anymore, surviving off sweets and crisps. I barely exercise and sleep on the sofa, often not changing clothes for days. I can't stand being places where I might meet people I know, I look so haggard and revolting. I hate the mirror and I really hate people looking at me. I've turned into this disgusting skanky husk.
Anyone else too low to manage their health and appearance?
If these things are distressing you I'm sorry to hear your troubles sister.
They say when you look good you feel good, but that is wasted in people if our disposition.
I'm in pretty neat shape but when I scrub up and put in some effort I look pretty fly.
Look. Pretty. Fly
On the inside I am a rancid piece of ****
I never look how I feel, so I say if you're losing interest in your appearance and in a strange way you are finding comfort in that go with yourself.
DBD
Making my self look good everyday is one of the few things i enjoy doing. mostly so i don't walk past a mirror and scream.but clothes. yeah i know that pain. put on 70kgs over 3 years and all my nice clothes don't fit me. gotta buy small tents for clothes these days..
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Élégie, Kikoo Loool, Circles and 1 other person
I still brush my teeth cause going to the dentist fucked me up as a kid. But when Im feeling really shitty and I dont shower, I just put on deodorant for work lol. On days off I dont move from my bed. When Im out and about I still get dressed but I dont like how I look. Im not overweight but I avoid mirrors. I get complimented a lot cause of my hair color or my piercings or my tattoos. That actually happened today. I quickly smiled at her and went back to staring at the floor. I only do that cause Im always thinking about how shitty Im feeling, also cause someone is always staring at me and I hate that shit.
I use to let me acne get bad, but recently decided that I needed to keep up my acne regimen because I want to bang some women, so I need to look good and take care of my acne. Treating it only helps to a degree. But I realize that ultimately I need to work on my personality.
Don't get the wrong idea, I do want to get married, but one night stands is where I am at right now in the meantime.
I still brush my teeth cause going to the dentist fucked me up as a kid. But when Im feeling really shitty and I dont shower, I just put on deodorant for work lol. On days off I dont move from my bed. When Im out and about I still get dressed but I dont like how I look. Im not overweight but I avoid mirrors. I get complimented a lot cause of my hair color or my piercings or my tattoos. That actually happened today. I quickly smiled at her and went back to staring at the floor. I only do that cause Im always thinking about how shitty Im feeling, also cause someone is always staring at me and I hate that shit.
I want a bunch more tattoos now that I know I can never get hired again, but I won't do it because it gives tacky strangers an excuse to stare and talk.
"wut duz yer tattoo mean?"
Fuck that. I tell them my tattoo is chinese for "I don't want to chat."
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Circles, DoomedxFromBirth and AtomicNewt
Yes, I shower about once a week when I wash my hair, barely clean my teeth and now in pain with them. I live in either pj's if I can't be bothered to get out of bed or trackie bottoms. I have nice clothes but they haven't been out of my wardrobe for months. I've put on about 2 stone. What's the point? I feel like shit might as well look like shit and anyway no-one cares anyway.
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Egddios, Rukia, Circles and 1 other person
i do my makeup whenever i have to go outside my apartment because if i didn't i wouldn't be able to work up the courage to leave. usually shower every second day. wash my face usually every day but sometimes every other day. brush my teeth at least once most days, almost never floss.
despite forcing myself to do each of the above points listed i still despise my physical appearance. feel like people are constantly staring at me and judging me for how i look. so i'm not really sure there's much of a point to going through all the motions that i do in this regard.
there are qualities to your appearance you can change through effort, and then there are qualities to your appearance that you will never be able to change (aside from resorting to plastic surgery). my own perceived ugly qualities largely fall into the latter category.
i've never had an appearance to "let go" of, i guess. for my entire life, i've always just looked like a cross between some awkward adult toddler and a serial killer. i think i still wear the same clothes i did when i was 13, maybe even younger. all of them are stitched up or torn open. the worst thing for me might be shaving, considering my face looks like a disgusting minefield of acne and spots and god knows what else. i bleed almost every time i shave, and i'm far too stubborn/weak-willed to try to even figure out how to fix any of this or make it easier for me, because that would mean committing to doing something different for a long amount of time without any visible results or guarantee of success and fuck that. i brush my teeth once a day, usually, but it's dictated by what i eat. i shower maybe 3/4 times a week? my only reason for doing these things is basically so i don't have to do them another day. multiple factions of my mind and body start yelling at each other whenever i "have" to "do something" and i'm dragged along by them. escaping from these awful biological impulses is one of my favorite reasons for CTB'ing.
my weight is basically dictated by my mom since she makes all the food i eat. i've never gone near a stove in my whole life, i'm terrible at plating food also. i like to think that if my parents weren't around i just wouldn't bother eating and lose a lot of weight as a result. it wouldn't "help" much of anything but it would feel nicer. like physical proof that i'm for real. i'm apparently just really outright BAD at showering? my mom always says my hair is greasy. she reviews and criticizes all my behaviors, even how i put on deodorant or how i hold a piece of paper in public. i think she's completely right and i am just that dense. i obviously don't give a shit about myself or anything else. i can't even make an effort to look not awful, not for her or myself. there's a reason my family treats me the way they do.
the astonishingly awful part of this is how i'm supposed to be in the prime of my life right now. this is me at my sexiest and most energetic and most interesting. this is the part where i'm supposed to just enjoy life and be young and free like everyone else my age. and these people aren't even "normies" or whatever, they're actual people who have gone through far more abuse and suffering than i ever will, yet they all came out on top and are thriving now, full of life and autonomy. this could hardly be called a question or an enigma at this point. i just need to go away and stop wasting space.
I used to be gorgeous. My looks were robbed from me from an antibiotic. It was so strong that it sunk my eyes in and I lost all my skin elasticity and I look worse than a crack junky. this is why I plan on killing myself.
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AhG, blanketyblk, Circles and 1 other person
I want a bunch more tattoos now that I know I can never get hired again, but I won't do it because it gives tacky strangers an excuse to stare and talk.
"wut duz yer tattoo mean?"
Fuck that. I tell them my tattoo is chinese for "I don't want to chat."
Lol If I have a tattoo showing or if a piece of clothing has a cartoon character or phrase, people constantly try to discuss it with me. I'm conditioned to be polite but inside I'm like "WTF!" I have to be careful to wear plain clothes but it doesn't stop them. "WHY DO YOU DRESS SO PLAIN, YOU COULD BE PRETTY IF YOU TRY!"
I want a face tattoo but I don't want motherfuckers staring at it, asking stupid questions.
I used to be gorgeous. My looks were robbed from me from an antibiotic. It was so strong that it sunk my eyes in and I lost all my skin elasticity and I look worse than a crack junky. this is why I plan on killing myself.
Im so defeated inside that I feel a fraud if I try to put some effort into my appearence beyond basic hygiene. That said, I want to CTB well dressed, well shaved and well perfumed watching the sunset or under a sky full or stars. I find hotel rooms as depressing as hospital rooms.
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Ἡγησίας, blanketyblk, Circles and 1 other person
Lol If I have a tattoo showing or if a piece of clothing has a cartoon character or phrase, people constantly try to discuss it with me. I'm conditioned to be polite but inside I'm like "WTF!" I have to be careful to wear plain clothes but it doesn't stop them. "WHY DO YOU DRESS SO PLAIN, YOU COULD BE PRETTY IF YOU TRY!"
I want a face tattoo but I don't want motherfuckers staring at it, asking stupid questions.
Was it bactrim, or a sulfa? Sorry don't mean to be nosy, just curious. Apparently lots of meds can have permanent side effects.
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