thefarter
i don’t smoke
- Dec 10, 2025
- 53
hi
i am making this post to ask all the ppl who are religious to pleeeeeeeeeeeeease pray my ctb attempt is successful this time. pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeeee.
i pray for it every single day.
i really hope it works.
i'mm just so desperate to die.
it's so awful constantly having to exist 'normally'.
sometimes i have crappy intrusive thoughts (?) about how badly my mum is going to react. i know it's going to be heartbreaking and traumatising for her but i am trying to not think about that because it will stop me from going through with it.
i like it when my thoughts convince me everybody will be better off without me.
i know it will make a lot of people from my past feel better. i think they probably want me to kill myself.
idk about my present honestly. i am just worried most of the people i interact with just hate me because of my past and so they just want me to feel crazy. it makes me feel sick.
i just want everything to stop. i want my brain to totally shut down. i am sick of overthinking every awful outcome. i am tired of these crappy people trying to make me feel insane.
i just want it to stop :(
i am prolly going to start self harming again because i am going to kill myself so there's no point in not hurting myself. i dont care about having more ugly scars.
i am making this post to ask all the ppl who are religious to pleeeeeeeeeeeeease pray my ctb attempt is successful this time. pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeeee.
i pray for it every single day.
i really hope it works.
i'mm just so desperate to die.
it's so awful constantly having to exist 'normally'.
sometimes i have crappy intrusive thoughts (?) about how badly my mum is going to react. i know it's going to be heartbreaking and traumatising for her but i am trying to not think about that because it will stop me from going through with it.
i like it when my thoughts convince me everybody will be better off without me.
i know it will make a lot of people from my past feel better. i think they probably want me to kill myself.
idk about my present honestly. i am just worried most of the people i interact with just hate me because of my past and so they just want me to feel crazy. it makes me feel sick.
i just want everything to stop. i want my brain to totally shut down. i am sick of overthinking every awful outcome. i am tired of these crappy people trying to make me feel insane.
i just want it to stop :(
i am prolly going to start self harming again because i am going to kill myself so there's no point in not hurting myself. i dont care about having more ugly scars.
