Venting any odd quirks that make it hard for you to maintain healthy relationships?

[ScottPilgram]

For me I fear stable healthy amounts of love. I tend to ghost people if they consistently express love for me because of my own trauma. I tend to enter relationships with people who love bomb me and then act very cold because it's how my mother acted. if the love is too consistent i panic and wonder when the person will switch up on me, i'm just not used to it, and i end up fleeing the relationship all together. consistent love feels so fake lol. but inconsistency can be so toxic too. its weird because im like a happy dog in a relationship, people find me to be way too clingy! i get called an orbiter consistently by one of my partners (im polyamorus for context) so it seems my brain has said "no one can give you consistent love but you can give others unending consistent annoying love" lol. I read a book called Polysecure; its a book about attachment trauma thru the lense of polyamorus relationships. If i were to give myself one itd be anxious attachment lol and i usually seek people with avoidant attachment out

 

[Forever Sleep]

Probably, mostly my fear of abandonment. I try not to rely on people now. I'm not convinced I'm incapable of making friends. I've had very close friendships in the past. I just fear the pain of losing them again. In my experience- romantic relationships/ families trump friendships. A level of social anxiety tends to mess things up too although, I'm not so bad on an individual level.

In terms of romantic relationships, I'm not attractive enough or feminine enough to be all that popular. I don't even try now. Plus, I tend to suffer from limerence over people I have no chance at all with! I'm pretty nervous around guys too. Around everyone likely now. I've barely left the house in a year! That's quite a stumbling block to relationships- never actually meeting anyone. Lol.

 

[SVEN]

Just me being me seems sufficient of a quirk to deter the majority of folk.

 

[ScottPilgram]

Probably, mostly my fear of abandonment. I try not to rely on people now. I'm not convinced I'm incapable of making friends. I've had very close friendships in the past. I just fear the pain of losing them again. In my experience- romantic relationships/ families trump friendships. A level of social anxiety tends to mess things up too although, I'm not so bad on an individual level.

In terms of romantic relationships, I'm not attractive enough or feminine enough to be all that popular. I don't even try now. Plus, I tend to suffer from limerence over people I have no chance at all with! I'm pretty nervous around guys too. Around everyone likely now. I've barely left the house in a year! That's quite a stumbling block to relationships- never actually meeting anyone. Lol.

oooof the abandonment issues is something i deal with as a system heavily LOL i feel that.

 

[CatLvr]

Yep. Hypervigilence and abandonment issues. I have spent me entire life beating whoever I was in a relationship with to the punch. I dunno WHAT is wrong with this man I'm married to now. He just rolls with it. I guess our issues "compliment" each other.

 

[casual_existence]

I can't be bothered to do communication. I barely like to talk to anyone and I don't feel a lonliness drive.

 

[ScottPilgram]

Yep. Hypervigilence and abandonment issues. I have spent me entire life beating whoever I was in a relationship with to the punch. I dunno WHAT is wrong with this man I'm married to now. He just rolls with it. I guess our issues "compliment" each other.

DHXIWJFJWKSJDKD LOOOL TOO REAL im glad you found someone who knows how to roll with that

 

[LostLily]

Fear of getting close to anyone and self-hatred of my sexuality . Which is why I never dated anyone