Help Anxiety and CTB

[Michelstaedter]

I've been analyzing my situation since I joined this forum. I've read several methods you mention, and I even started with the "non-methods" section to consider those that should be avoided due to their low success rate. The problem that's been plaguing me is the anxiety I've been suffering from. It's not normal anxiety, where you might be restless and fearful of certain situations. The fear of death, the fear of failure, the fear of pain and the after-effects of a failed attempt are some examples of what the anxiety I'm referring to is. My best idea for a method is N, which would help drastically reduce the anxiety factor, not only because we're talking about a substance used for this in therapeutic doses, but also because thinking about other substances, as I've often read about NS, it's almost like being able to regret it if you feel horrible symptoms at some point, if the anxiety of feeling that the attempt isn't working and therefore backing out. Having a gun can be the same, since the fact of having it, knowing that if you aim badly, the tension, I even read about a suicidal person who didn't find that method attractive because the trembling of his anxiety would be counterproductive to achieving his goal.

My question in these cases, or my idea to keep in mind for those of us who suffer from a lot of anxiety, even more than depression or boredom, is how they cope with it or how they are able to think about whether they once had that anxiety, how they managed to reduce it to feel calmer when planning their CTB and in that way not think about postponing it or evading the idea until it dissolves into wanting to do it but not being able to.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

What's helped me has been reading a lot about my chosen method. I've read through the vast majority of goodbye threads on here to look at symptoms people experienced, as well as the protocols they went with. I think being familiar with the worst case scenario helps me a bit, so I know what to expect if things aren't as peaceful as people say. I also run through and envision the protocol in my head most nights - it's relaxing in some way.

 

[AreWeWinning]

I've been analyzing my situation since I joined this forum. I've read several methods you mention, and I even started with the "non-methods" section to consider those that should be avoided due to their low success rate. The problem that's been plaguing me is the anxiety I've been suffering from. It's not normal anxiety, where you might be restless and fearful of certain situations. The fear of death, the fear of failure, the fear of pain and the after-effects of a failed attempt are some examples of what the anxiety I'm referring to is. My best idea for a method is N, which would help drastically reduce the anxiety factor, not only because we're talking about a substance used for this in therapeutic doses, but also because thinking about other substances, as I've often read about NS, it's almost like being able to regret it if you feel horrible symptoms at some point, if the anxiety of feeling that the attempt isn't working and therefore backing out. Having a gun can be the same, since the fact of having it, knowing that if you aim badly, the tension, I even read about a suicidal person who didn't find that method attractive because the trembling of his anxiety would be counterproductive to achieving his goal.

My question in these cases, or my idea to keep in mind for those of us who suffer from a lot of anxiety, even more than depression or boredom, is how they cope with it or how they are able to think about whether they once had that anxiety, how they managed to reduce it to feel calmer when planning their CTB and in that way not think about postponing it or evading the idea until it dissolves into wanting to do it but not being able to.

Your last paragraph is a bit confusing.

By reading your entire post, it's not clear to me what the source of your anxiety is. The fact that you want to CTB, and you're anxious about your decision, or anxious about dying?

Or are you already relaxed and happy about your decision, and is it just the method itself and a potential failure that gives you anxiety?

If it's the first one, and you're anxious about the decision, or anxious about death, then I don't have any good advice. For me, it just took me a lot of thinking, over a long period of time. I was highly emotional about it too, but over time, that fizzled out too.

In the second case, if it's the method that you're anxious about, then my advice is to find a different method. Personally, I prefer methods where there is a very clear "threshold", after which it's impossible to back out in any way, and death occurs relatively quickly after that. I'm anxious about a failed attempt too, and I'm not considering various gases and poisons for this reason.

 

[Michelstaedter]

Your last paragraph is a bit confusing.

By reading your entire post, it's not clear to me what the source of your anxiety is. The fact that you want to CTB, and you're anxious about your decision, or anxious about dying?

Or are you already relaxed and happy about your decision, and is it just the method itself and a potential failure that gives you anxiety?

If it's the first one, and you're anxious about the decision, or anxious about death, then I don't have any good advice. For me, it just took me a lot of thinking, over a long period of time. I was highly emotional about it too, but over time, that fizzled out too.

In the second case, if it's the method that you're anxious about, then my advice is to find a different method. Personally, I prefer methods where there is a very clear "threshold", after which it's impossible to back out in any way, and death occurs relatively quickly after that. I'm anxious about a failed attempt too, and I'm not considering various gases and poisons for this reason.

Oh, sorry, it's just that sometimes I use a lot of slang that I usually use in my language, so when I look up synonyms, I try to be as clear as possible, but the translator has its limitations.
Now, regarding what you're saying, I actually have anxiety about all of the things you mentioned, but the problem lies in that my anxiety is the disorder. That is, I'm a very anxious person, fatalistic, pessimistic, or one who always thinks about the worst-case scenario, and that makes me sabotage the idea that I actually want the CTB. I have no doubts, I don't like life. But pathological anxiety makes me, and perhaps many others, overthink several things to achieve the CTB, even though they have that problem.

 

[AreWeWinning]

Oh, sorry, it's just that sometimes I use a lot of slang that I usually use in my language, so when I look up synonyms, I try to be as clear as possible, but the translator has its limitations.
Now, regarding what you're saying, I actually have anxiety about all of the things you mentioned, but the problem lies in that my anxiety is the disorder. That is, I'm a very anxious person, fatalistic, pessimistic, or one who always thinks about the worst-case scenario, and that makes me sabotage the idea that I actually want the CTB. I have no doubts, I don't like life. But pathological anxiety makes me, and perhaps many others, overthink several things to achieve the CTB, even though they have that problem.

Well, I tend to overthink things too. I don't think I'm a pathological case, but I do overthink stuff. And I have seen other posts from other people who have the same experience. I think, there are some valid reasons for being anxious and overthinking here. If all goes well, we get to do this once, so it's better to make sure we do it right. But on the other hand, it can turn into a situation where we overthink it too much that it prevents us from doing what we want. I consider this to be a form of SI. At least that's how I look at it.

Sorry, I don't have anything useful to say. Everyone struggles with this in their own unique way. We feel like we want to do it, but we just can't. The reasons are always slightly different, yet, in a way, they are always the same. We just can't get ourselves to do it.