An open letter to my dad

[ChiseHatori]

To my dad, who passed away when I was three by shooting himself in the head.

I was never angry at you. Not even once.

I just wished you were there. Mom was terrible. Did you know that she also tried to end her life? But she didn't commit.

I've always wanted to join you. But I know you're not out there, I stopped believing in the afterlife many, many years ago. But writing this is oddly therapeutic. So that's that.

Moonlight Showers was a song I wrote to you. I never finished it.

If I am to follow in your footsteps someday, I sometimes wonder how that would've made you feel. I don't want you to be sad, or disappointed... as some people are just born disadvantaged, with broken brains, bodies... etc. Some of us can recover and prevail, but many of us can't.

I'm sorry your last moments were alone.

I'm sorry you also lost your dad, just a few days before you parted this world.

I only wish we could've had our final moments together.

I've had good times and bad times in my life. I can't blame you for putting me into this world... I don't think you knew any better. And I am more often thankful to you than not. You were the only one that showed me unconditional parental love. That is something I can never get back and it was something truly special.

Even if our time together was short...

I loved you.

 

[TheSource]

I hope your life becomes joyful, and you're able to experience that blissful life for a long time.

May your father guide you back home once your time has come.