Story Am I valid for wanting to end it all for being a failed writer?

[EuclidianMisery]

Short story; I attempted to become a writer around three years ago and produced two books. Was finished with third draft and in the middle of editing it. Couldn't finish it, decided to share it with AI and both models tore it to shreds. Got angry, threw my flashdrive against the wall and swore to never become a writer again.

There, that's the story.

I know pathetic. But I'm not a normal person and what can I do when I've been writing for so long only to then be reminded I'll never get better no matter how hard I tried? I attempted to reach out to writer's forum and they went all 'JUST READ MORE'. Attempted with Reddit and was full of assheads. Attempted again and again until I just gave up.

Now I'm stuck and got suicidal ideation.

Great!

Anyways,
Am I completely valid for wanting to end my life for failing to achieve my dreams?

 

[memo]

I wouldn't base your skill level on AIs input, computers can't even begin to appreciate good writing for what it is, share your work with real people who enjoy reading the kind of things you wrote at least

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Short story; I attempted to become a writer around three years ago and produced two books. Was finished with third draft and in the middle of editing it. Couldn't finish it, decided to share it with AI and both models tore it to shreds. Got angry, threw my flashdrive against the wall and swore to never become a writer again.

There, that's the story.

I know pathetic. But I'm not a normal person and what can I do when I've been writing for so long only to then be reminded I'll never get better no matter how hard I tried? I attempted to reach out to writer's forum and they went all 'JUST READ MORE'. Attempted with Reddit and was full of assheads. Attempted again and again until I just gave up.

Now I'm stuck and got suicidal ideation.

Great!

Anyways,
Am I completely valid for wanting to end my life for failing to achieve my dreams?

never knew writers block could be so deadly

Why not write about how a writer killed himself? I mean theres one about a salesman isnt there?

 

[EuclidianMisery]

I wouldn't base your skill level on AIs input, computers can't even begin to appreciate good writing for what it is, share your work with real people who enjoy reading the kind of things you wrote at least

Problem is that its really hard to get people to read my stuff.
The fault mostly lies on my head for not finding the right audience and not knowing how to market said books.
But its still a crappy feeling nonetheless and using machines is like drugs in that its the easiest route to dopamine and one rife with negative side effects.
Also my rage against myself was partially fueled by my spectrum disorders. I know stereotypical but when there's no support networks what can a person do during a moment of genuine rage?

 

[Tomorrow Is Today]

Hey there. I don't think it's invalid to want to commit suicide because of failed dreams. Sometimes the world can be harsh and pursuing certain goals can be impossible. It's natural that we may not be able to reconcile our ideals with reality in that way, and it will certainly bring a lot of dissatisfaction and misery.

However, the decision is yours in the end. We can never tell whether things will work out in the end for us. If you deem that this is where you cut your losses, it's just as valid as continuing to pursue your dreams with no guarantees.

I for one think that there's some form of beauty in us stubbornly upholding our ideals against circumstances that only seem to push back. Maybe it's blind hope, but continuing to fight without the comfort of destiny can be one way. If the pain becomes too overbearing, no one has the right to hold it against you if you choose to exit as well.

Wishing you the best.