astro
recovery gang
- Dec 19, 2019
- 89
Bonus question: Am I the only one actively hurting people (obviously not physically)?
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No I don't want anyone to feel like that. Why..
It's horrible
It's horrible
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,621
Not at all. Loads of people here don't want anyone to be happy because they're not. I'm glad someone's said it because now I can't get shot down for saying it
I honestly do not even understand that mindset.
Why the hell would I want other people to feel the way I do?
And you didnt specify anyone your life, so just random strangers?
No, I do not want anyone to feel like I do. I legitimately cannot even understand why anyone else would. Sure, people you know can make you mad and pain does awful things to us causing anger.
As a general rule though no, nobody should have to feel the way I do. Bringing other people down does not help me, and I promise it wont help you either. When you harbor anger it grows...just let that shit go life is hard enough without it
Why the hell would I want other people to feel the way I do?
And you didnt specify anyone your life, so just random strangers?
No, I do not want anyone to feel like I do. I legitimately cannot even understand why anyone else would. Sure, people you know can make you mad and pain does awful things to us causing anger.
As a general rule though no, nobody should have to feel the way I do. Bringing other people down does not help me, and I promise it wont help you either. When you harbor anger it grows...just let that shit go life is hard enough without it
I would like that, but just for an hour, a day or so, so people would understand the pain. Just because everything seems alright on the surface, it doesn't mean we aren't suffering and rotting in the inside.
It's just a matter of perspective. People who go through the same are more likely to understand us.
It's just a matter of perspective. People who go through the same are more likely to understand us.
Oyoy
Spatula
- Feb 2, 2020
- 741
Only the people who destroyed my life. In particular relatives and an old landlord are the name of my existence.
262653
Cluesome
- Apr 5, 2018
- 1,733
Misery loves company, I guess. It also might feel nice when people genuinely understand your struggle.
WhyamIstillhere
Member
- Jan 27, 2020
- 90
I don't want anyone else to suffer. It's not in my nature to hate others even if they hurt me.
Dont really want people to feel bad but somethimes i think if a lot of people in here where born deformed and had to live with it for some years they would appreciate life when there not. I really dont want to downplay anyone's feelings because i have lost a lover have been abused and have been homeless for 3 years, but i really would switch anytime if i could have a normal face/skull. I definitely get this post and where those feelings come from. Because let us all be honest we are all a bit jealous with people who are happy
As far as I'm concerned one person suffering is one person too many.
I would not want anyone to feel any kind of pain, physical or psychological.
Seeing other people (or animals) suffer causes me undescribable anguish.
I would not want anyone to feel any kind of pain, physical or psychological.
Seeing other people (or animals) suffer causes me undescribable anguish.
Just me suffering is enough. We'll be causing enough sadness to our loved ones when we CTB.
Anon2662
Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
- Feb 13, 2020
- 366
I'd like certain people who think that they can 'fix me' to experience what I do but only for a few minutes and just so they could fully understand what it's like. I struggle to talk about it so them experiencing it first hand only for a short time would help them to understand what is really going on.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
The questions in the thread title and the OP.... I get a sense of separation from others.
I think of my mom who beat me and how I wanted her to stop so we could be closer, because I loved and needed her. Her harming me made me hate her and feel impotent and enraged. Her harming me separated us, and because she won't take ownership of it, and either blames me or minimizes it or both, depending on the moment, it has never stopped being between us. It is so much bigger than she is willing to see, and only her admission and efforts to reconcile with me and herself could make it small and surmountable. I have grown bigger than the abuse, but she would have to make great efforts to grow bigger than and surmount it in order to both see me and to reach me, and she will not.
I see the questions asked here and at first I have knee-jerk reactions to reject and judge. I stop myself. Then I feel sad about the separateness inherent in these questions. I want to reach out and hug the OP but hold back, because s/he says they are actively hurting people, so it wouldn't be safe to do so when they're in that state, any more than it would be safe to try to hug a volatile person waving around a knife. And so I feel self-protective, hence the knee jerks, and then an ache in my heart for a fellow human's separation and pain, and then impotent to do anything constructive about these feelings, this person, this situation, and I feel all of this in cycles and at once.
I think of my mom who beat me and how I wanted her to stop so we could be closer, because I loved and needed her. Her harming me made me hate her and feel impotent and enraged. Her harming me separated us, and because she won't take ownership of it, and either blames me or minimizes it or both, depending on the moment, it has never stopped being between us. It is so much bigger than she is willing to see, and only her admission and efforts to reconcile with me and herself could make it small and surmountable. I have grown bigger than the abuse, but she would have to make great efforts to grow bigger than and surmount it in order to both see me and to reach me, and she will not.
I see the questions asked here and at first I have knee-jerk reactions to reject and judge. I stop myself. Then I feel sad about the separateness inherent in these questions. I want to reach out and hug the OP but hold back, because s/he says they are actively hurting people, so it wouldn't be safe to do so when they're in that state, any more than it would be safe to try to hug a volatile person waving around a knife. And so I feel self-protective, hence the knee jerks, and then an ache in my heart for a fellow human's separation and pain, and then impotent to do anything constructive about these feelings, this person, this situation, and I feel all of this in cycles and at once.
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GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
I wish that instead of prisons, people could feel for a bit the hurt they cause others, just to understand well enough so that they'll stop harming others and won't cause anyone that hurt again.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,359
While I don't want anyone else to suffer, I wish for an hour they could be inside my head and feel how I feel. It would make understanding me and helping me so much easier. Especially for doctors.
mesohappy
Cat piss sammich??
- Jan 10, 2020
- 674
I had that mind set a long time ago,when I was deep in my addiction and anger.I would straight up get bitter and resentful when others around me were "having to much fun" and enjoying life.I would lash out and act out for the stupidest things.mostly my own jealousy.Ive since recognized those feelings as the ugliness that they are and realized there were things inside of myself that I needed to fix/address.I still feel like shit a lot of the time,but I don't ever wanna take it out on others.I wanna leave positive vibes in the world before I check out,if that makes any sense.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 7,023
When I was a teenager, many years ago, yes I had such strong resentments and was way more unstable than I was when I was in my 20's. Part of that stems from bad home life, experiences with bullies in middle and high school. Other than that, I am just generally misanthropic towards humanity as a whole rather than wishing ill on an individual. Nowadays, I just want to end my own suffering after I have finished what I'm doing and truly made peace with everything.
Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
Sometimes. But it wouldn't accomplish anything, everyone would either get over it and become stronger, which would make me look weak, or they'll all become just as pathetic as I am, which would be horrible.
Either way, there's nothing to gain from it.
Either way, there's nothing to gain from it.
Despondent
Archangel
- Dec 20, 2019
- 6,777
I don't want anyone to feel this way! :( For some reason, I'm always under the assumption that others are hiding their hurt, just like I do and used to. I hate the thought of others suffering. Especially in silence. It makes me want to ctb even more. This world is so sad, it makes me want to make my exit quicker
Grandexit
Experienced
- Dec 4, 2019
- 200
I could never wish this on people. If anything, I so value the tiny snatches of kindness or joy I see in the world. It's so rare and precious.
I WISH I could make my emotionally abusive dad live in my chronically depressed shoes for five fuckin minutes so he'd hurt as bad as he hurts me.
Well, it's like this.
It's impossible to get people to accept your CTB because they believe you're a fundamentally decent person who deserves to live. People who are suicidal do things to reinforce this. Their letters are apologies, they try to take care of their pets in posthumous arrangements, etc. This is understandable. They think they're a burden and trying to lessen it, but paradoxically the things they do convince other people of the opposite.
Therefore, the only way to get people to agree your bus ticket is the right move is to harm them. Show them how much of a burden you are by actively making their lives worse. Lie, cheat, and steal. Become the kind of person who makes people say "good riddance" once they've heard you're gone.
If I take care of people they'll cry over my grave. If I hurt them, they'll spit on it once and never return. I very much want them to do the latter.
The people saying no, they would not like anyone to feel like them, I think they are not being honest with themselves. Down deep, we just want to be understood. Otherwise, why would we spend minutes and hours on this forum, trying to describe our pain, if it was not for wanting to be understood.
I would not like anyone to have to live with pain like mine, but I would like them to be able to walk a mile in my shoes so they could understand.
I would not like anyone to have to live with pain like mine, but I would like them to be able to walk a mile in my shoes so they could understand.
terry_a_davis
Warlock
- Dec 28, 2019
- 707
I wouldn't wish anything negative on almost anyone I'm able to accept I am responsible for my own situation. But there is a very small proportion of people who actively cause suffering and for them i wish them every misfortune.
Of course my wishes will make no difference as to what actually happens to people as they're just thoughts in my head. But life itself usually has a way, sooner or later, to bring misfortune to those that deserve it and when it does i'm glad justice is served.
Of course my wishes will make no difference as to what actually happens to people as they're just thoughts in my head. But life itself usually has a way, sooner or later, to bring misfortune to those that deserve it and when it does i'm glad justice is served.
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terry_a_davis
Warlock
- Dec 28, 2019
- 707
astro
recovery gang
- Dec 19, 2019
- 89
Just to clarify for anyone who stumbles upon this post in the future: I no longer feel this way. I have never felt this way before the time I made this post. All that I'm saying is that if everybody were in the same situation as I am I would no longer feel inadequate.
Your mindset is definitely toxic.
If you want people to feel the same you do or experience what you experienced.
Than that on its own is already a hateful personality and is narcissistic.
