Venting am i overreacting lowk

[eyeswithoutaface]

Since I made a plan to ctb this July, I wanted to spend the rest of my life lazing and having fun at home, so I told my mom I'd take a break from college for the time being. I don't have a reasonable answer so I told everyone I wouldn't say why. Naturally my mom was pretty upset but I told her I'd tell her when I'm ready. In exchange for staying at home, I had to pay my dad's child support since he wouldn't pay it while I'm not in school.

We decided on 1000 per month, which was doable for me but since I'm burnt out and stressed I really didn't want to get a job where I'm expected to show up or have to interact with others, like I did during my last job. I told everyone I would be doordashing and my brother, being protective since I'm the youngest girl in the family, offered to pay 300$-400$ per month to help me. So I slacked off a little because I thought I wouldn't have to pay as much.

He ended up going through some financial trouble so he won't pay for the time being, which was fine and I appreciated the thought anyways. However I found out a few days ago, around a week before I have to pay. My mom and I got into a fight about why I wouldn't tell her my reason for not going to school, this is when she told me my rent would go back to 1000$. She knew a week before she told me, and if we didn't have that fight I don't think she would've told me at all. I asked her why she didn't tell me about this and she compared it to me not telling her the reason I'm out of school. IMO I dont think those are comparable at ALL. anyways im pretty pissed cuz now I have to grind double the money within 5 days and Im not talking to her. I can tell she's trying to make up with me though, by making food and trying to start a conversation with me. But I want an apology, which she never gives.

My familys pretty nice so idk maybe im just complaining for nothing but Idk what shes gonna do IF I dont have the money, I asked her if she'll kick me out and she told me I was trying to villainize her lol and never gave me a solid answer, if that's the case I'll have to ctb early. I'll probably get the money in time but im still pissed



Side note: would it be better to distance myself from my family since im dying soon? We don't spend that much time tg anyways so it's easier than enjoying moments with them. I don't want to hurt them if possible.

 

[Dot]

Sh/ prbbly knws tht smethng = up & tht u r hidng smethng frm hr

Also if u ctb thn hurtng thm = goin2 b unavoidble

 

[eyeswithoutaface]

Sh/ prbbly knws tht smethng = up & tht u r hidng smethng frm hr

Also if u ctb thn hurtng thm = goin2 b unavoidble

I did tell her that I was taking a break to think abt what career I wanted to focus on... I hope she doesn't suspect anything,, also that sucks

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's hard to really coment on what is reasonable because it depends on our perspectives.

Do you know much about your Mum's life? When she left home? When she was expected to start supporting herself? If it was either she studied or worked at the age of 18, 19, 20- whatever you are- she won't even consider it unreasonable to expect the same from you.

The better parents out there will be concerned for our future. They'll know that they won't always be able to support us so- I suppose a part of their role is to try to push us to be in a position we can support ourselves. I suppose- seeing as they accepted that reality- they expect us to.

If you've given off no clues- it's unlikely she's even considered you don't intend to have a future. I suspect many parents would find that hard to truly take in- even if we were honest with them.

As for whether it's an unreasonable expectation- yes if we hold anti-natilist type views. It surely isn't fair to subscribe a sentient being to a life of wage slavery against their will. But- seeing as their perspective is likely so different. They maybe never envisaged this kind of outcome, it's difficult to say they are being entirely unreasonable. I suppose we're all living according to our own perspective.

If they knew you wouldn't be receiving the money from your brother and they knew you wouldn't make it up in your salary then- it does seem unfair they didn't tell you in good time though.

It sort of sounds like your Mum is annoyed that you won't be honest- which is also understandable why you feel you can't be. But then, it does all feel a bit tit for tat. I've known my friend's parents threaten to kick them out on multiple occassions. I think it takes someone pretty heartless to actually do it though.

 

[eyeswithoutaface]

It's hard to really coment on what is reasonable because it depends on our perspectives.

Do you know much about your Mum's life? When she left home? When she was expected to start supporting herself? If it was either she studied or worked at the age of 18, 19, 20- whatever you are- she won't even consider it unreasonable to expect the same from you.

The better parents out there will be concerned for our future. They'll know that they won't always be able to support us so- I suppose a part of their role is to try to push us to be in a position we can support ourselves. I suppose- seeing as they accepted that reality- they expect us to.

If you've given off no clues- it's unlikely she's even considered you don't intend to have a future. I suspect many parents would find that hard to truly take in- even if we were honest with them.

As for whether it's an unreasonable expectation- yes if we hold anti-natilist type views. It surely isn't fair to subscribe a sentient being to a life of wage slavery against their will. But- seeing as their perspective is likely so different. They maybe never envisaged this kind of outcome, it's difficult to say they are being entirely unreasonable. I suppose we're all living according to our own perspective.

If they knew you wouldn't be receiving the money from your brother and they knew you wouldn't make it up in your salary then- it does seem unfair they didn't tell you in good time though.

It sort of sounds like your Mum is annoyed that you won't be honest- which is also understandable why you feel you can't be. But then, it does all feel a bit tit for tat. I've known my friend's parents threaten to kick them out on multiple occassions. I think it takes someone pretty heartless to actually do it though.

my moms upbringing and mines are very different, so I try not to take anything for granted. While she made the choice to work to get out of her situation, I can tell she doesn't really expect anything from me and idk if she thinks I can consistently make that amount of money anyways. Of course I knew I could, but only with proper preparation, which I dont have now.

I dont even care about the money, I just wanted to have the information I needed to actually get her the money

Frankly this whole thing made me feel kinda hopeless because idk what shes going to do if I dont have the money, and our relationship isnt the best right now...and even if we do make up I'm probably gonna be too upset to engage with her if she doesn't express any sort of remorse, maybe that is selfish of me but I think she made a mistake.

If i do get kicked out tho lol im fine w leaving early its wtv