Venting Am I old enough to give up?

[DoNotLet2]

Hello
I'm 19 and I have never had any close relationship with anyone that lasted longer than a few months. I don't have friends. I won't ever have them. I tried so many times but everybody gets bored of me... Am I old enough to give up trying? Should I wait until I'm 30? I don't want to wait I want to be gone finally.

 

[WornOutLife]

You're really young but it's up to to decide when the time to CTB is right.
I'm 32 and I've been thinking about suicide since I'm 12 but I'm still alive because I was kinda happy at your age in spite of the ups and DOWNS.
You're no failure for giving up. This world is just unfair and we don't deserve to suffer so much.

 

[Ardesevent]

Some members prefer it if people wait until they're at least 21, but I wouldn't ask for advice on this. It's your life, you should go when you're absolutely sure it's what you want.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

We can't really tell you, fellow soul, we're a pro-choice community which means the choice is yours. No one can tell you you must wait until some arbitrary date if you don't want to.
However, I was about your age when I made my first friends. Not having friends in childhood and teenage years isn't an indicator that you aren't ever going to have them. Unless you make an active decision to avoid social interactions and/or creating attachment to other people, that is. Trying or not trying anymore - the choice is yours, it is your life, after all.

 

[Heart Shards]

I've never understood why people think suicide has an age requirement? Someone can live a whole lifetime of hell, even at a young age.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

If you ask society it's forbidden.

Jokes aside, your question tells me you should go back to life and think it out for yourself.
The question itself is evidence you haven't explored life yet.

 

[Marauder]

I would say wait until 24 or 25. Doctors say that human brain and personality is fully developed at that age.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

@DoNotLet2
Suicide has no age limit despite it´s not popular to say on this forum and I know people will use the argument "the brain isn´t fully developed" which I hate when people always brings this up when talking about age just because the brain isn´t fully developed in teenagers i.e. The frontal lobe the part of the brain that is responsible for functions such as planning for the future, judgment, decision-making skills, attention span, and inhibition this doesn´t mean just because teenagers mainly make their decisions using the amygdala which is responsible for emotions that doesn´t mean they can´t think rationally just because they are more likely to act on emotions hell I wish I did when I was a teenager with my racing teenage hormones to motivate me to ctb and feel extreme sadness both were great drives/motivators to ctb now I among other things suffer from apathy and anhedonia so I can´t feel anything.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I've never understood why people think suicide has an age requirement? Someone can live a whole lifetime of hell, even at a young age.

I'm not advocating either point of view, but just to clarify, the doubts usually come not from the fact younger person hadn't suffered enough, but from the fact a younger person might have more opportunities to improve their life in the future, depending on what exactly is making them suicidal.
While I wouldn't say you can't already be fed up with life at any age and decide not to try anymore, I also want to point out that childhood and adolescence aren't necessarily "the best years of your life" like media is trying to present them, and things really can get better as you get older. The choice whether or not to give it a shot is up to everyone individually.

 

[Heart Shards]

I'm not advocating either point of view, but just to clarify, the doubts usually come not from the fact younger person hadn't suffered enough, but from the fact a younger person might have more opportunities to improve their life in the future, depending on what exactly is making them suicidal.
While I wouldn't say you can't already be fed up with life at any age and decide not to try anymore, I also want to point out that childhood and adolescence aren't necessarily "the best years of your life" like media is trying to present them, and things really can get better as you get older. The choice whether or not to give it a shot is up to everyone individually.

I can respect your point point of view.

 

[woxihuanni]

No. The abomination was about 15 when she took eternal ownership of my husband's soul by using her dearl-sold cunthole, upturned nose and mania episodes and psycopathy.

I never did it and cannot do it at this age, because men over forty cannot be caught and securely kept at that age.

You probably will never do it, either. If you are female, you are too old.

 

[DoNotLet2]

@Ngerboll
I have never lived actually. I'm still living with my "parents". I have been abused. I'm not attractive to anyone. I'm asking if that makes sense to keep looking for friends. If I don't have friends I don't want to live. It doesn't make sense to be always alone. I have tried here on SS because I feel I can relate to you guys. But even here few people care. I want to be cared for. I want someone to worry about me.

@TheGoodGuy My decision to stay alive is the emotional one.
All facts collected I don't see any logical reason to live. I am completely fucking unable to do anything. I want to succeed a bit at least. I cannot make myself to commit suicide.

 

[262653]

I'm in my mid twenties now and looking back at previous attempts I'm glad I didn't suffer any severe, irreversible damage that is compatible with life. But then, being "old enough" doesn't necessarily exempt one from critical failures at suicide. I'd like to end my life experience and cut my losses for good, but apparently my decision making system decreed otherwise. The distress I'm experiencing in the process of taking my own life is so intense it overrides any concerns for the future. Stupid and powerful lizard brain. Why do some people defend it so much? Is that a Stockholm syndrome I sense?

To you I'm probably a stranger who doesn't know much about you, and because of many variables unknown to me, I can't deny the possibility that from know on and until the rest of your days your life wouldn't turn out to be overall worth experiencing.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

That depends on you friend. If you are making this post then it would indicate to me that you're looking for outside validation which implies that you have doubt, meaning that you perhaps know or have a suspicion that 19 is very young.

If you want my opinion, then yes, 19 is very young. Life doesn't really start until your late 20s. That seems like a ridiculous notion of course, but a significant portion of your maturity and life experiences happen at around about your age. I was the same at 19. I'm now 32. I have a wealth of experience behind me. Girlfriends, friends, jobs, education. It all came and went and I learned from it. As people get older, a lot of those high school prejudices and cliques that make you feel inadequate cease to be.

What you feel now is not eternal. My advice and opinion is that you live some more. If at the end of that you feel the same, then that is a choice you can make. Trust in time and be kind to yourself. There are many here that will encourage you to seek the end, but they're just playing devil's advocate to validate their own weakness. I'm telling you to develop your own strength to make your own choices. I'm telling you to empower yourself so that whatever choice you do happen to make, life or death, it is yours and yours alone. It is your path. Your journey. Your struggle. If nothing else, you can say it is yours and that is something that no one can take from you.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

@Ngerboll
I have never lived actually. I'm still living with my "parents". I have been abused. I'm not attractive to anyone. I'm asking if that makes sense to keep looking for friends. If I don't have friends I don't want to live. It doesn't make sense to be always alone. I have tried here on SS because I feel I can relate to you guys. But even here few people care. I want to be cared for. I want someone to worry about me.

Okay, then it means you want to live rather than be dead as long as someone care sincerely about you.

First of all, it's gonna be hard to find the ideal person you're looking for, but it can be done.
If you ask me, people can't sincerely care about another human being if its not in their gains.

Second of all, everyone are shallow. If you're viewed as ugly or have any other defect like a mental disorder then you have to lower your demands and settle for the equivalent.

My last tip would be; stop searching for him.

 

[Sensei]

@DoNotLet2, you ask for opinions, so you'll get one. Young or not, I don't doubt for a second that you suffer. However, I think you should wait. Things can change very quickly at your age. I don't know your whole situation, but it may be completely different a couple of years from now. I think you should give life a second shot.

 

[xLosthopex]

I don't know the answer, it's a complicated one
I'm in my early 20s but my first attempt was when I was 14 and looking back now it would have only been a good thing if my attempt was successful when I was that age

 

[gus.nixon]

Hello
I'm 19 and I have never had any close relationship with anyone that lasted longer than a few months. I don't have friends. I won't ever have them. I tried so many times but everybody gets bored of me... Am I old enough to give up trying? Should I wait until I'm 30? I don't want to wait I want to be gone finally.

I'm almost 50. When I was 19 I didn't really have any true friends, had people I drank and did drugs with but no real friends. Not trying to deter you from anything you may want to do, but I'm just saying a whole lot of shit can happen (both good and bad in 30 + years)

 

[DoNotLet2]

@Sensei
It's a simple question, teacher. Will I be able to find friends or is it all lost by now? I don't mean to be rude but you know I lost all hope.

 

[Iloveyouall]

Will I be able to find friends or is it all lost by now?

Of course you will be able to find friends.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

Now you're My friend, as long as you like cats of course!
Honey you are too young to give up please don't do it, don't give up, when you're 30 you can do it, but not so young, you have to live a little longer, try it, I know it's difficult but you can, here ewtoy if you need your new cat friend!

 

[Dima2]

It really depends what makes you wanna ctb in the first place , but generally speaking a lot can change at 19

 

[YellowSneakers]

Social skills can be developed over time. Allow yourself to experience more & make a determination then. With more interaction you can get a better feel for the course of your life.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Will I be able to find friends or is it all lost by now?

Life has very few guarantees that go one way or another. There is simply no way to say with 100% confidence that you either will, or will not find friends. Ironically, the only thing that can guarantee you will never get to experience friendship in your lifetime is to cut your life short now, when you haven't experienced it yet.
I don't see any evidence that probability of you ever finding friends, assuming you stay alive, would be exceptionally low.

 

[bornfree]

Hello
I'm 19 and I have never had any close relationship with anyone that lasted longer than a few months. I don't have friends. I won't ever have them. I tried so many times but everybody gets bored of me... Am I old enough to give up trying? Should I wait until I'm 30? I don't want to wait I want to be gone finally.

firstly are you sure you have identified the reason why you have no friends correctly? When i was 28-29 years old i had a period having no friends then i worked at an organisation for a couple of years and had some who i thought were friends. Once i left the organisation these colleagues stopped being my friends. This might be because i am boring or it might be because i didn't ask them to meet up or other reasons.

It's over a decade later and now i have no friends but what i also found out is i have never had anyone i can count on as a friend. Better than having a thousand friends who think you're cool and interesting is having one friend you can count on and trust. You can also try to be the sort of friend who can be trusted and counted on.

It can be hard to get rejected in your attempts to make friends and this might make you want to die. It can be lonely without friends and this might make you want to die. But you can learn. This is perhaps the most important thing. You can learn how to make friends and hold onto them. I am reminded of someone i thought was a friend. When i met him at university he had no luck with women but years later after learning and practicing he would walk into a bar and start up a conversation with a stranger then get her phone number or just shag her the same night. He learned and he used trial and error and got rejected a lot but eventually he became skilled. When we were at university i was the confident one but years later when we went to bars he was the confident one whereas i was not confident so he'd easily strike up a conversation with a stranger while i didn't know what to say so i stayed silent or just mumbled. Sometimes not having confidence in yourself makes it harder to make friends. You expect no one wants to be your friend then this changes how you act. So you might give up too quickly when trying to make and sustain a friendship.

If you can survive the pain and are willing to learn then it isn't hopeless. It's harder now because of the lockdown but after it ends I'm sure there will be parties and everyone celebrating getting their freedom back so you might find lots of opportunities to make new friends. If you go to university this can be an important way to change your psychosocial development and you'll get lots of opportunities to make friends.

 

[BLUE1970]

It's not a numbers game, it's about maturity of the mind and ability to make a rational, balanced decision. When you know you are ready to go, you know, you don't need to question. Take plenty of time and space before you making any decisions, life is fluid and can change in an instant - better or worse, death is not fluid, it is finality....the end.

 

[bornfree]

It's not a numbers game, it's about maturity of the mind and ability to make a rational, balanced decision. When you know you are ready to go, you know, you don't need to question. Take plenty of time and space before you making any decisions, life is fluid and can change in an instant - better or worse, death is not fluid, it is finality....the end.

yes you have to recognise the protection of assisted suicide is a guarantee as well as a risk. But it's so easy for others to make it even worse than becoming suicidal so the rationality point cuts both ways by which i mean do you trust the monsters who call themselves the human race have the competency to care about you when you are suicidal.

I think you can sense that i do not trust the monsters who call themselves the human race to care about me or any other suicidal individual. They have had for centuries the explanation that suicidal thoughts and feelings are the product of a brain defect - this is the idea of mental health and illness. This is not rational or a basis for humane care.

 

[BLUE1970]

yes you have to recognise the protection of assisted suicide is a guarantee as well as a risk. But it's so easy for others to make it even worse than becoming suicidal so the rationality point cuts both ways by which i mean do you trust the monsters who call themselves the human race have the competency to care about you when you are suicidal.

I think you can sense that i do not trust the monsters who call themselves the human race to care about me or any other suicidal individual. They have had for centuries the explanation that suicidal thoughts and feelings are the product of a brain defect - this is the idea of mental health and illness. This is not rational or a basis for humane care.

My suicidal ideation is not the result of a brain defect / mental illness / or anything else to that matter - I simply have no desire to continue with life on earth, my existence is neither happy or sad. I strongly oppose those that are keen to pigeon hole my desire to no-longer exist as mental illness. I have achieved all I have ever wanted to achieve at the grand old age of 50, I am not depressed, I have my affairs in good order, I am not running or try to escape problems or emotionally weighty current or past events...I merely no-longer wish to exist, my time on earth is at an end.

 

[spooky]

You're the one who gets to decide. It's your life.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

@@TheGoodGuy My decision to stay alive is the emotional one.
All facts collected I don't see any logical reason to live. I am completely fucking unable to do anything. I want to succeed a bit at least. I cannot make myself to commit suicide.

My exact point. You are 19 years old and thus I can explain my logical reasons for suicide while following the rules on this forum since you´re older than 19 years old, you seem to have weighed out the logical reasons for suicide which you´re entitled too since you never asked to be born no matter what age you are but it seems you weight out the pro´s and cons and followed your logical conclusion to why which suicide is the most logical CHOICE of all and age doesn´t define how we´re able to distinguish between what is rational/logical and what is not and it seems that you´ve proven that to all the nay say´s.