Venting am i just crazy

[scared2death]

hi so i'm new here and i just wanted to vent. i hadn't felt the intense need to ctb for years until really recently but to be totally honest i don't feel like myself, i feel there is something wrong with me i'm always out of myself and by the time i feel conscious again i'm just depressed by all the stupid things i've done. i'm scared that this is just me being crazy and impulsive but at the same time i feel like it's my time, despite not being sad about my situation there is nothing for me, i should go as soon as possible, i just would love to do it. i have never been diagnosed with anything else than standard teenage depression but i know this isnt normal and going for medical help saying "i would love to ctb right now!!" isnt the best idea ... i just don't know what to do, i feel like something inside me would be sad if i really went for it... sigh. i dont know, just wanted to get it out somewhere.

 

[RadioSilent]

I'm sure this won't do much for you, but, I hear you. I sympathize with your struggles and I hope you can find some peace during this time.