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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
As per the title …
 
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S like Siren

S like Siren

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,556
Nothing is just that i failed for the umpteenth time ... and when you realize you can't even kill yourself you feel lost and trapped
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

That's the hell I live with
Apr 19, 2018
659
Because survival instinct is a bitch.
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
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hʚll

hʚll

not real.
Jun 18, 2021
467
time alone., i think.
about the s.i. i think everyday that passes i'm getting more used to its tactics to keep me in here, so is like the way my s.i acts is becoming predictable. and when i have time alone, i don't think i will be fooled again. at least i hope lol
 
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Seiko

Seiko

"Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby."
Jul 9, 2021
167
Because killing yourself is difficult. According to the American Association of Suicidology, there are twenty-five suicide attempts for one successful suicide, and the odds you doing it successfully are a 100-200:1 ratio against you.


A fitting quote from lostallhope.com (before it got removed): "The people who discuss suicide the most, think about it for the longest time, attempt suicide the most, yet fail suicide most often, are those looking for peaceful and painless methods to go."

I'm not encouraging, but rather stating: if you are going to kill yourself—get a gun. It is statistically the most effective method of suicide. I am graciously waiting until my 21st birthday to purchase one in my state. Until then, I am done with my multiple failed attempts at simple suspension. I am willing to live until I have a reliable exit.
 
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HelloHell

HelloHell

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
443
Lack of access to SN or N, and my SI didnt let me execute hanging successfully
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
the children, SI
 
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StringPuppet

StringPuppet

Lost
Oct 5, 2020
579
I'm trying to see how much longer my family will put up with me
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,321
As per the title …
Fear of remaining alive after a ctb attempt but with brain damage or disabled. Life is bad enough for me now. don't want to make it worse. So i'm caught in very severe trap between a rock and a hard place. If i don't commit suicide soon i'll suffer extreme torture and unbearable long lasting pain.

i have to do it soon . just have to improve my chances of it suceeding and me actually achieving Death. once i'm dead imo there is no more chance of pain or suffering ever again. All i want is to not suffer torture . but pro-lifers and others say that is no good that i have to suffer.

pro-lifers say i can' t have a choice and they banned things like nembutal pills which were available by prescription decades ago. the only reason nembutal is banned and criminalized is to prevent people from commiting suicide.

The world population is exploding around 7 billion people will soon be 8 billion. artificial intelligence robots are also soon to be here so there is no need for 8 billion people and 20 billion and billions of robots to compete for jobs etc. so these pro-lifers and those that agree with them are insane: they could just let me go and less suffering for all. someone else could have my job house etc. that's logical but they want to keep me here suffering .
 
Last edited:
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WrongPlaceWrongTime

WrongPlaceWrongTime

Better never to have been
Jul 4, 2021
695
I don't live alone, so its hard to find a chance to do it w/o being discovered too soon
 
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Cockney_Rebel

Cockney_Rebel

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Jan 7, 2021
455
I don't live alone, so its hard to find a chance to do it w/o being discovered too soon
Could you not jump?

Or do what I did once, and book Into a hotel for a night (overdose.)
 
Carrotcake

Carrotcake

Experienced
Nov 27, 2019
265
I feel coerced into trying to live/trying more treatment options.
 
U

unworthy_

Member
Mar 19, 2021
89
My family and pets. My brother is not working and I dont know how he would do it if im gone. I think i need life insurance for that. If I dont have them, I wont hesitate for once. Everyday is almost an agony just to live and survive for them
 
hermes

hermes

Student
Jun 4, 2021
179
My family and pets. My brother is not working and I dont know how he would do it if im gone. I think i need life insurance for that. If I dont have them, I wont hesitate for once. Everyday is almost an agony just to live and survive for them
Life Insurance doesn't cover suicides.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
That's a bloody good question……
SI, people I love and my cats….. We'll see how much longer I can go on like this…..
 
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TheDevilsAngel

TheDevilsAngel

LetMeFree
Apr 22, 2019
768
My children and I'm scared of death it really has held me back
 
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D

disfiguredone

Cursed
Aug 23, 2020
187
Life Insurance doesn't cover suicides.
Not true. The typical life insurance policy has a waiting period and won't pay out if the person commits suicide within the first year (sometimes two) after taking out the policy. This is to prevent people from buying insurance bc they are planning to kill themselves. But after the waiting period ends, the typical life insurance policy will pay out even if the policyholder kills themselves.

I have a policy that I purchased 25 years ago. Last year, after I was diagnosed with an incurable, horribly disfiguring and debilitating disease, I sat down with my insurance agent and asked what would happen if "I chose voluntary euthanasia or ended my own life" and he explained that the policy paid out no matter how I died, that any cause of death, including suicide, was covered as the waiting period was over. He said he gets that question all the time and that it is a common misconception.*

*Each policy has its own specific language, read your policy, and ask your agent to be sure.
 
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hermes

hermes

Student
Jun 4, 2021
179
Not true. The typical life insurance policy has a waiting period and won't pay out if the person commits suicide within the first year (sometimes two) after taking out the policy. This is to prevent people from buying insurance bc they are planning to kill themselves. But after the waiting period ends, the typical life insurance policy will pay out even if the policyholder kills themselves.

I have a policy that I purchased 25 years ago. Last year, after I was diagnosed with an incurable, horribly disfiguring and debilitating disease, I sat down with my insurance agent and asked what would happen if "I chose voluntary euthanasia or ended my own life" and he explained that the policy paid out no matter how I died, that any cause of death, including suicide, was covered as the waiting period was over. He said he gets that question all the time and that it is a common misconception.*

*Each policy has its own specific language, read your policy, and ask your agent to be sure.

Thank You.

My bad. Apologies. I was under the wrong impression.
 
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D

disfiguredone

Cursed
Aug 23, 2020
187
Thank You.

My bad. Apologies. I was under the wrong impression.
Oh no worries, wasn't trying to call you out, I just thought it might be helpful to post bc many people- myself included - assume their life insurance won't pay out.
 
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Nutshell

Nutshell

I’d feel better dead.
Feb 23, 2020
272
Because I want to be 99% sure that I won't land myself in a worse state than I'm in now.
 
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Elysium Searcher

Elysium Searcher

Longing for eternal sleep
Jun 12, 2021
62
Sometimes I have a slight hope that with proper help I might be able to make some changes in my life and make it more bearable. While I don't believe at all it's possible to reverse the consequences of everything that I've experienced, maybe there's a slight hope to live a happy life, with some of my issues solved and others made less impactful on my life in a negative way. Sometimes these thoughts distract me from CTB.

Despite of this, I want to CTB soon anyway, not sure when exactly.
 
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Reactions: t0rnbetween, Beached_whale, Largeletters and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,484
The survival instinct is the main thing, it is the way we have evolved and it can make doing ctb methods hard. I am worried about failing and being left with consequences. It is hard to take our lives, as humans we all deserve a right to die.
 
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Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
Like others says, SI is a bitch, and I often don't have the right time to complete my methods.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,732
Because killing yourself is difficult. According to the American Association of Suicidology, there are twenty-five suicide attempts for one successful suicide, and the odds you doing it successfully are a 100-200:1 ratio against you.


A fitting quote from lostallhope.com (before it got removed): "The people who discuss suicide the most, think about it for the longest time, attempt suicide the most, yet fail suicide most often, are those looking for peaceful and painless methods to go."

I'm not encouraging, but rather stating: if you are going to kill yourself—get a gun. It is statistically the most effective method of suicide. I am graciously waiting until my 21st birthday to purchase one in my state. Until then, I am done with my multiple failed attempts at simple suspension. I am willing to live until I have a reliable exit.
Yep. Gun or go home for me. There is no other way I'd be willing to go beside doctor-ordered euthanasia, and I know that ain't on offer here in FL.
 
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Foreversad

Foreversad

(D)uck prolifers
Jun 21, 2021
413
The absence ofsolid well decided way
 
CatTheBus5689

CatTheBus5689

Member
Jun 22, 2021
76
I'm just making sure this is absolutely what I want and trying to think of one solid reason not to. Maybe life will toss me a bone but I highly doubt it.

Starting to iron out the fine details for my plan though.
 
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Reactions: t0rnbetween, Nolen, Elysium Searcher and 1 other person
weepingfree

weepingfree

Time’s tide will smother you, and I will too
Feb 28, 2020
97
I'm waiting for a few things in the mail, then it's my time to book a hotel room, gather some of my favorite art and get to mixing a deadly drink
 
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S

Sakura94

empty
Nov 26, 2020
673
I can imagine things beyond my mind and I don't like to imagine my mother bringing on a stroke after it. And that's after lessening the impact of them not finding my body.
It's true I won't be there to witness the aftermath but until then the images of the possible timeline haunt me.
 
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