all the bad girls get songs -- venting

[.twilight.girl.]

My boyfriend is a singer/song writer and my dumb bipolar brain won't let this go. I know it's for art, but hearing him have 4-5 songs about other girls is driving me up the wall.
mostly ex girlfriends and one that is made up.
I know this is unreasonable, I know it's not because he wants those people. But my mind keeps trying to convince me otherwise. I am struggling to maintain being a supporting partner and just pushing through or not wanting to participate at all.
Makes me feel awful. I no longer want my mental and abandonment issues to drive my life anymore, I literally can't enjoy anything and it takes away others happiness cause I am such a drag. I wish I was able to hide my mental illness better, like some other people can, you know? Like the ones where everyone is like "omg, we never knew". Makes me think I am not doing this right? Can I be doing mental illness wrong? Am i supposed to be vocal? I am not trying to get attention, i always worry what people think about me. I just wish I wasn't so obviously unwell. I have been in therapy since I was 4, (i am 25 now) I've done countless medications, but I feel like a different person every time i see my therapist so i can't really get to the root of the problem. I am constantly confused.

I managed to find the SN site. Although I struggle with payment due to my own financial stability. Will revisit at a later time.

 

[deadstillwalking]

Hey!! I think it's completely understandable not to feel alright when someone makes songs about someone beside you.. I think that's natural and many other people would feel somewhat uncomfortable as well.

 

[Whale_bones]

It's completely understandable that hearing those songs would make you feel bad. Lots of people feel upset if their partner just talks a lot about an ex, and a song is something that's expressing a lot of emotion and is much more visceral.

I know that the inspiration for a new piece of art can hit randomly, but you can let him know that it's hurtful/upsetting to hear songs about other girls, though you still support him as an artist and you're not judging his creative process. I bet if you had a hobby that was repeatedly expressing emotion about 4 of your exes, he would also feel bad being around that!

So if you let him know how this makes you feel, hopefully he will choose to avoid singing/playing those songs in front of you or bringing them up. It's an easy thing to do and definitely worth it to respect his partner (you).

 

[.twilight.girl.]

thank y'all for the replies. i'm glad i wasn't alone in my thinking.