All of this could’ve been avoided

[suicidal flapper]

Every horrible part of my life could've been avoided. I'm forced to take my life after years of torment. My life could've been a fairy tale. A happy little existence. This world could be a utopia if it just tried even a little. All of our issues could be resolved so easily and yet we don't

My life didn't have to be miserable. My existence could've been wonderful. My one and only little life could've been truly amazing. The world destroyed it with not an ounce of sympathy

 

[FuneralCry]

This world truly is such a hellish place and it's cruel how people have to suffer so much, in my case I never would wish to exist no matter what but it must be so horrible being in that situation where you feel forced to leave on your own terms. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Enlighten]

It's not too late for change. It's never too late for change. I believe you can still live happily.

 

[suicidal flapper]

It's not too late for change. It's never too late for change. I believe you can still live happily.

it's too late

 

[Enlighten]

What makes you say that?

 

[suicidal flapper]

What makes you say that?

because I'm about to be 22 and for the past 10 years I have spent in pure isolation and even after escaping the house I was still isolated due to having crippling dysphoria and being unable to pay for surgery. My body is masculine and I have no way of fixing this.

I lost my entire youth. High school and college are now gone. I never went to any of them. I was homeschooled and raised to never leave and I haven't had an irl friend in years. I'm about to be 22 and I'm still trapped. Unable to get a job, an education, a life and move on due to being transgender and stuck in a miserable house

It's too fucking late. In 8 years I'll be 30. Unless I have a time machine it's over. All I do is pace every day because I'm using my benefits to save for a surgery to make it so I don't break down at a mirror. I have nothing to do and all I do is endlessly scroll


It's too late

 

[DesperateOne]

because I'm about to be 22 and for the past 10 years I have spent in pure isolation and even after escaping the house I was still isolated due to having crippling dysphoria and being unable to pay for surgery. My body is masculine and I have no way of fixing this.

I lost my entire youth. High school and college are now gone. I never went to any of them. I was homeschooled and raised to never leave and I haven't had an irl friend in years. I'm about to be 22 and I'm still trapped. Unable to get a job, an education, a life and move on due to being transgender and stuck in a miserable house

It's too fucking late. In 8 years I'll be 30. Unless I have a time machine it's over. All I do is pace every day because I'm using my benefits to save for a surgery to make it so I don't break down at a mirror. I have nothing to do and all I do is endlessly scroll


It's too late

I know this is old, but I'm in a very similar situation apart from dysphoria. I hope we soon find the peace.

 

[sadslime]

I'm in almost exacrly the same situation except i'm about to be 24 so i feel like i've lost my early 20s too, I have an irl friend and it just hurts seeing her get to live the life i could've had

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you have struggled so much in life. On the one hand, I would say- it isn't too late. I did a second degree when I was 28- so, I was 31 by the time I got in to my prefered job.

On the other hand though- I understand. Some of our anxieties feel too crippling and too frightening to face. Social anxiety and lack of confidence have held me back in life. They were obstacles I was only willing to fight so far. I guess that is what it comes down to in the end- will we let these personal anxieties dominate our lives? Sometimes, the alternative just seems so frightening and sometimes- it simply doesn't seem worth it. I guess it's a choice we make.

Of course, it depends on the severity of our insecurities too. I used to feel so envious of people who seemed confident. I thought- how much nicer life must be when you aren't feeling like some despicable failure the moment anything goes wrong. Still, talking to people- I often found out they were struggling too. They maybe just masked it better.

Dysmorphia though, has to be so hard to live with. I'm sorry. I've always had insecurities about my appearance but, not to that extent. I'm sure certain things just feel crippling.