funeraleveryday
please help me die
- May 16, 2020
- 39
the reason I can't make friends is because i always have this horrible anxiety in my heart that causes me to seek reassurance and comfort and it becomes irresistible. in real life ive spiraled to people who were just trying to talk to me. i dont know what the hell they thought was going on. i feel so guilty about it. I just can't regulate my nervous system and it feels physiological to me. I basically seek comfort nonstop and my anxiety about this is so bad and i age regress to simulate this comfort and basically all of my interests are centered around trying to regulate my nervous system this way but its never ever enough. I am so lonely
sometimes my thought loops lead me to this underlying metaphysical understanding that if people lived as me they'd understand, or in heaven they'd understand, there'd be ultimate understanding there. but I can't prove the existence of such things to myself anymore, because of beyond good and evil etc
People think I am evil and that I am choosing to have a victim mentality. It's truly not true. It's really truly not true, I swear to you, I go through every logical possibility, I know that there's beauty and I want it so badly
sometimes my thought loops lead me to this underlying metaphysical understanding that if people lived as me they'd understand, or in heaven they'd understand, there'd be ultimate understanding there. but I can't prove the existence of such things to myself anymore, because of beyond good and evil etc
People think I am evil and that I am choosing to have a victim mentality. It's truly not true. It's really truly not true, I swear to you, I go through every logical possibility, I know that there's beauty and I want it so badly
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