Alcoholics thread part 2

[Dead_Inside]

Well I am officially now at 3 days of being sober (watching that clock) and it's hard....this is the time when everything just gets to me and I can't handle the memories inside my head.

I am hoping I can make it to day 4 but the pull is hard. Amazing what things can haunt you and what can help...at least for a few hours.

I'm rooting for you! I can't imagine letting it go right now. But just means I am not ready.
I need to get off my pills - I told myself I wouldn't tonight, but I failed. Got sad and went for the only thing I know for a damn fix.

What made you quit in the first place?

 

[StarDust]

I'm rooting for you! I can't imagine letting it go right now. But just means I am not ready.
I need to get off my pills - I told myself I wouldn't tonight, but I failed. Got sad and went for the only thing I know for a damn fix.

What made you quit in the first place?

I cannot tell you the countless times I have told myself I wont when I first wake up only to make til 4pm and then say, "I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE" and just drink myself to sleep.

A few things made me quit...first off I hated seeing all my money flying out the window because of it. Another is my liver...when I drink now, I swell up very badly. I am not at all a big woman just the opposite in fact but when I drink I retain water like you wouldn't believe. Which just tells me even more so how bad my liver has gotten since I last had it tested. Also my kidney's have been giving me issues due to the lack of water intake. I don't eat as it is. (I can't taste anything these days) and I also do not want to die being a drunk. (no offence to anyone here).

I have spent my whole life avoiding alcohol..because I saw what it did to my family growing up. Alcoholism runs on every single side of my family. After I lost everything in my life and I do mean everything...I spent nights never sleeping, wandering around an empty house....lost and alone...finally I decided to have a drink to see if it would help me sleep. Boy did it ever...it numbed everything and from that moment on, it was my coping mechanism. I still hate myself for taking that first drink...because I came what I vowed I never would become but at the time and honestly even now, it doesn't really matter because I have nothing. So I tell myself who cares, who cares, who care....?!?!?! But then I realise, it is the only thing left that I care about...I care. I don't want to die being this person. I want to know that when I leave I leave clean...and I leave in the best possible version of myself, which isn't much but it's something.

I know, it probably sounds silly when I am going to just off myself anyway but it's something I have to do for myself. I am not sure that I can do it and I probably cannot but I will give it a good try.

I will also be honest that I have half a bottle of white wine in my fridge that I didn't drink during my bender (and boy was that a bender...2 bottles of tequila, 4.5 bottles of wine an 1 bottle of champers) but I haven't touched it...I haven't looked at it. I haven't thrown it out bc what is the point? I can easily go out and get another one. So it seems pointless. I guess, to some degree I'm daring myself to look at it and walk away and I have...for 3 days now. It hasn't called my name or whispered anything evil to me (you know what I mean) I want the voices in my head to stop and I have thought about drinking it but again...it hasn't called my name. I keep telling myself the reasons I am doing this and it doesn't have to be for long or forever because my forever is coming soon enough.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I cannot tell you the countless times I have told myself I wont when I first wake up only to make til 4pm and then say, "I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE" and just drink myself to sleep.

A few things made me quit...first off I hated seeing all my money flying out the window because of it. Another is my liver...when I drink now, I swell up very badly. I am not at all a big woman just the opposite in fact but when I drink I retain water like you wouldn't believe. Which just tells me even more so how bad my liver has gotten since I last had it tested. Also my kidney's have been giving me issues due to the lack of water intake. I don't eat as it is. (I can't taste anything these days) and I also do not want to die being a drunk. (no offence to anyone here).

I have spent my whole life avoiding alcohol..because I saw what it did to my family growing up. Alcoholism runs on every single side of my family. After I lost everything in my life and I do mean everything...I spent nights never sleeping, wandering around an empty house....lost and lone...finally I decided to have a drink to see if it would help me sleep. Boy did it ever...it numbed everything and from that moment on, it was my coping mechanism. I still hate myself for taking that first drink...because I came what I vowed I never would become but at the time and honestly even now, it doesn't really matter because I have nothing. So I tell myself who cares, who cares, who care....?!?!?! But then I realise, it is the only thing left that I care about...I care. I don't want to die being this person. I want to know that when I leave I leave clean...and I leave in the best possible version of myself, which isn't much but it's something.

I know, it probably sounds silly when I am going to just off myself anyway but it's something I have to do for myself. I am not sure that I can do it and I probably cannot but I will give it a good try.

I will also be honest that I have half a bottle of white wine in my fridge that I didn't drink during my bender (and boy was that a binder...2 bottles of tequila, 4.5 bottles of wine an 1 bottle of champers) but I haven't touched it...I haven't looked at it. I haven't thrown it out bc what is the point? I can easily go out and get another one. So it seems pointless. I guess, to some degree I'm daring myself to look at it and walk away and I have...for 3 days now. It hasn't called my name or whispered anything evil to me (you know what I mean) I want the voices in my head to stop and I have thought about drinking it but again...it hasn't called my name. I keep telling myself the reasons I am doing this and it doesn't have to be for long or forever because my forever is coming soon enough.

That is not silly at all .... I can understand.
I don't want to die this person I have become. I don't want to be this person. I can't find my way back out ...but once upon a time I was not taking pills and drinking all the time.
I am fairly worried that my liver will just shut down and I will die an alcoholic drug addict. Or I will just accidentally OD on my pills one stupid night ....and no one will care because I am just one of "those" people.
So no, its not silly to want to straighten up before your suicide ..... I've said it before and I will say it again; suicide is about the person committing it ... it should be for them.

You are right to care for yourself ..... So few of us here have anyone who will or does care about us outside of this site. So for what its worth - I care about you too : )

 

[StarDust]

That is not silly at all .... I can understand.
I don't want to die this person I have become. I don't want to be this person. I can't find my way back out ...but once upon a time I was not taking pills and drinking all the time.
I am fairly worried that my liver will just shut down and I will die an alcoholic drug addict. Or I will just accidentally OD on my pills one stupid night ....and no one will care because I am just one of "those" people.
So no, its not silly to want to straighten up before your suicide ..... I've said it before and I will say it again; suicide is about the person committing it ... it should be for them.

You are right to care for yourself ..... So few of us here have anyone who will or does care about us outside of this site. So for what its worth - I care about you too : )

Honestly, thank you for that...I could honestly give you a hug for those words alone.

Since I have no one, I have had to plan for what will happen to me after. No one will claim me or do anything that most normal people would have others do for them.

My liver is on the verge of shutting down...hence all the swelling and other issues going on. And I just don't want to die like you said, one of THOSE people. Even if no one is around to claim me at least I will have gone out knowing that I did the one thing I could possible do and control in my life. It makes going home that much sweeter.

I just have to find a way to live with the memories just long enough to make it home....

Again, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm virtual hugging you right now.

 

[StarDust]

Honestly, thank you for that...I could honestly give you a hug for those words alone.

Since I have no one, I have had to plan for what will happen to me after. No one will claim me or do anything that most normal people would have others do for them.

My liver is on the verge of shutting down...hence all the swelling and other issues going on. And I just don't want to die like you said, one of THOSE people. Even if no one is around to claim me at least I will have gone out knowing that I did the one thing I could possible do and control in my life. It makes going home that much sweeter.

I just have to find a way to live with the memories just long enough to make it home....

Again, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm virtual hugging you right now.

Oh and you are worth in on my end as well... care and care alike. :)

 

[Dead_Inside]

Honestly, thank you for that...I could honestly give you a hug for those words alone.

Since I have no one, I have had to plan for what will happen to me after. No one will claim me or do anything that most normal people would have others do for them.

My liver is on the verge of shutting down...hence all the swelling and other issues going on. And I just don't want to die like you said, one of THOSE people. Even if no one is around to claim me at least I will have gone out knowing that I did the one thing I could possible do and control in my life. It makes going home that much sweeter.

I just have to find a way to live with the memories just long enough to make it home....

Again, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm virtual hugging you right now.

I'll take it : ) Think that is the only kind of hug I am going to get unless the coroner gets weird .....

 

[StarDust]

I'll take it : ) Think that is the only kind of hug I am going to get unless the coroner gets weird .....

It's a coroner, they are ALL weird!!!

 

[Dead_Inside]

It's a coroner, they are ALL weird!!!

.... then I guess I will probably be extra happy I'm dead ; )

 

[StarDust]

.... then I guess I will probably be extra happy I'm dead ; )

I should say so! At least you won't know you are being felt up by a necrophiliac.

 

[lv-gras]

I should say so! At least you won't know you are being felt up a necrophiliac.

would almost be willing to give them their shot, now. not like anything matters anyway.

 

[StarDust]

would almost be willing to give them their shot, now. not like anything matters anyway.

So long as I am not alive or know anything about it..they can do whatever they like.

 

[Mrs.O'Leary'sCow]

 

[FullFat]

I've had to cut back on my drinking because of heartburn. Doctor's orders, in fact. It's such a pain in the ass!
I don't know why I bother with the doc when I want to CTB. Habit?

 

[Slacker]

 

[Deckchairs]

Bought a six pack of one of my favorite beers last night (lagunitas) but managed to keep it to 3 beers. This is progress for me. Maybe I can moderate my drinking.

 

[Sun Stealer]

ME!!! But I'm behaving myself... 2 days back on the wagon going on 3...2.5 really. *sighs* Its always day two when I realise the most why I drink. When I realise why I am so hurt, so angry, so distraught....when my memories haunt me the most and the pain start to build like a rising tide.

Hopefully I make it through the day.

But for the hell of it, will one of you lot have a drink or 10 for me? Thanks muchly!

It's the same for me. I need to take the pain away

 

[Sun Stealer]

But I can just get through day knowing I can get wasted at the end

 

[Deckchairs]

I still have three bottles of beer - not on the wall. Take one , drink it two bottles of beer in the fridge......

 

[StarDust]

Still have that half bottle of wine in the fridge, still haven't touched it.... day 4 sober.... SIGHS

 

[bbq1]

Most I do is 2 bottles of wine a day now.

 

[Bandzbandz]

I have never had a sip of booze in my life. No lie.

 

[StarDust]

Most I do is 2 bottles of wine a day now.

wine always gave me the worst hangovers...ick talk about a sour stomach...although i did drink it

 

[bbq1]

It's nice with a pack of Cheddars and a Pot Noodle to finish.

 

[Deckchairs]

What are cheddars ? And What's a pot noodle?

 

[Deckchairs]

Well cheddars are a pack of round cheesey biscuits with a supposed cheddar cheese flavour.
In the pic is an unopened pack and a few loose ones.

A pot noodle, see pic again, is a dried nuked noodle style snack/meal thing.
You peel back the lid, remove sachet of tomato sauce, dump in 300ml boiling water, reseal lid as best as possible, wait 10 mins, stir, add sauce, stir, try and eat.

I'm not in the mood to cook this one now so can't provide 'ready to eat' pics but may do soon if requests flood in.

View attachment 752


This vid I just found mite explain better

Ah cool thanks for explaining.

 

[Oblivion]

Some of you solidary souls knows some good tips for preventing/reducing hangover?

drink lots of water before you go to bed and you won't have a hangover.
if you do have a hangover, drink some ginger tea and eat a banana.

 

[Oblivion]

I got myself a double black today, feeling happy!

 

[Tiburcio]

Basically, drinking a lot of water, orange juice and a long rest could reduce my hangover, and in case I'm sick, bananas or Coca-Cola could help me...


I had not in mind drinking again but I will do it anyway and see if this can be useful.

Thank you guys!

 

[skitliv]

Bottle of rum ready to be smashed tonight

 

[Sun Stealer]

Go for it