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SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
Im 41..i would do a lot differently if I'd know what the future held.
But im seriously trying to be alright with myself..
Wouldn't we all mate. I'd give every penny I had just to get a glimpse into my future. Even contemplated visiting a medium despite being a massive cynic, just to y'know maybe get a tiny bit of encouragement life actually could improve, looking for any light at the end of the tunnel before I crash and burn.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Illuminated
Feb 13, 2020
3,234
Wouldn't we all mate. I'd give every penny I had just to get a glimpse into my future. Even contemplated visiting a medium despite being a massive cynic, just to y'know maybe get a tiny bit of encouragement life actually could improve, looking for any light at the end of the tunnel before I crash and burn.

I really believe there's always a light... But sometimes it's not in front of you :)
 
SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
I really believe there's always a light... But sometimes it's not in front of you :)
Yeah mine's behind me, it's people in cars waiting for me to die so they can argue over who gets what.

Sorry, gallows humour.
 
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xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

“Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.”
Mar 3, 2019
248
I realize that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll end up taking a dirt nap just the same. What age I am when I die makes little difference because, ultimately, I'll still be dead. If the bad outweighs the good and I feel compelled to do so, I figure I might as well cut to the chase.
 
plough22

plough22

Living but not really, just surviving
May 1, 2020
226
I see my own death, death by hanging as was the case of my other work colleagues. It'll take bravery to get over SI and pain / fear. I just need the final push and it will happen. I am in early forties, only started having suicidal thoughts 3 years when blamed for something I did not do, life collapsed and no way out then ending it. I wish that a good natural end, heart attack.
I don't mind not be talked or worried about, it's my life my decision, just hope I do it right
 
SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
I like that kind of humor :smiling:
I'll remember that, it's nice to know who I will or won't offend with my typically British sense of humour. I can offend some people and it's never intentional, I just forget for every Bill Hicks lover, there's an Adam Sandler type who really don't appreciate darker wit.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Illuminated
Feb 13, 2020
3,234
I'll remember that, it's nice to know who I will or won't offend with my typically British sense of humour. I can offend some people and it's never intentional, I just forget for every Bill Hicks lover, there's an Adam Sandler type who really don't appreciate darker wit.

You like Bill!!! :heart: he's absolutely the best!!!
 
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SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
I love Bill, may he rest in peace the beautiful, sarcastic bastard. I used to watch his shows on a comedown after I'd been out clubbing, every week for years.
 
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Maximoo

Maximoo

Member
Mar 2, 2019
35
I've been mentally ill since I was little. Physically ill for years. There is no cure. I have been given the opportunities to make something out of myself, yet my own brain and body is working against me. I feel trapped, and the only way out is to catch the bus.
 
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Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
78
30, felt this was since pre puberty. Maybe it's genetics as my dad did it. I don't know I just was never able to find happiness. It's a chore. It's a "gift" I never asked for and everybody says they don't take returns but I'll make them :-). Haha I have many many reasons, physical pain physical disabilities, no community, probably some mental illness but I'm not going to go into that because he really cares y'all don't need to know my specifics. I don't know how to put it over there than this place never felt right to me I'm always riding at lower baseline of happiness than others I've felt. I've had more challenges and some but less than most most likely. I just wish I was aborted to safe everyone the trouble of me existing and being a burden+ it'd save me the trouble of over coming this god damn Survival instinct. The older I get the more unhappy, miserable and depressed I am but I've noticed with age my survival instinct grows also that and/or I am less reckless less impulsive and less likely to commit a thoughtless impulsive suicide now it's starting to be a more planned complicated complex suicide. I don't know maybe I'm just hoping to get caught up in some crossfire or T-boned at an intersection. I don't know but I don't want to be here kind of like the rest to you! I love y'all but I hate this place and myself and the vast majority of my life and on and on and on and on and on in circles. Hahaha take it easy y'all.
 
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Reactions: LastRide and moodygrl
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,864
48. Wanted to kill myself since high school. Too much of a coward.
But I think it's getting close to time.
 
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Reactions: Nunyabinniss, lululoo and moodygrl

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