Afraid to fail on CTB

[mistakenhope08]

Hello everyone! I'm a newbie here. For the last few years I've been struggling from a worst mental health condition and decided to CTB next month soon as I save enough money to buy SN and other needs especially a rent for a place to execute it. But what I'm afraid of is failing to CTB? I can't afford to fail. I want it to be successfully completed coz I don't wanna live anymore and this life is such a bullshit!

 

[FuneralCry]

I fear the same, in my case it terrifies me how trying to die can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering as a result and I find it horrific how such can happen, it really scares me how there is literally no limit as to much agony a human can feel in this cruel, torturous existence, I also just wish to be gone. But anyway I wish you all the best, I hope you find the peace you search for.

 

[ramon]

I know NOTHING about neurology, psychiatry or any other sciencitfic discipline related to this thread. The consequences of how this post is interpreted relies solely on whoever is reading it.

That being said, some other member in this forum said something that helped me cope with the fear of failing at CTB.

I can't recall neither the exact words nor who wrote them, but that member said that becoming brain dead is not that bad since what would be left of me is my mindless functioning body. If my sentient self is no longer there to experience any mental and/or physical pain before and after any failed attempt, then It seem like it's mission accomplished.

Again, since I have no reliable knowledge on the matter any corrections are highly appreciated.

 

[nasigoreng99]

Hello everyone! I'm a newbie here. For the last few years I've been struggling from a worst mental health condition and decided to CTB next month soon as I save enough money to buy SN and other needs especially a rent for a place to execute it. But what I'm afraid of is failing to CTB? I can't afford to fail. I want it to be successfully completed coz I don't wanna live anymore and this life is such a bullshit!

Hello my friend, it's normal to be afraid of failing to ctb. What i suggest is to follow the protocol. Do more research about it.
From what i read, most of failure cases of SN are because:
1. Getting found and saved (make sure you won't be interrupted, based on PPh, the death occurs within 40 mins to 4 hours)
2. Panic and SI kicks in and call for help
3. Purity of SN is not enough (must be more than 95%)
4. Vomit (taking antiemetics is essential) but not a guarantee you won't vomit, so prepare second or third glass

Go through the SN guide again and again until you have confidence, don't ctb in a rush.

Hopefully it will help reduce your anxiety of failing.

Best of luck my friend