Venting Afraid to die?

[yaya]

Is anyone else here afraid of dying? I thought I was ready, but I keep getting so terrified of what comes "after". I keep trying to tell myself that everything will go black and I won't feel anymore. That thought does scare me, but so do the alternatives (afterlife, reincarnation etc).

How are you able to get passed this fear? Some days I really want to end everything, and some days I want to have hope and I want to see who I could become, which I think stems from my fear...

 

[Moth]

I think I'm more afraid of failing and ending up either severely disabled or in a vegetative state.

 

[deflagrat]

Everyone is. Some people say they aren't but I don't believe them and think it's a coping mechanism to try and take control. Nobody wants to die...they want their pain to end and that pain is so great that they see no other way.

I disagree. You can learn not to be scared the same way you can change your mind about anything. I don't think being scared of death is a big deal, but if it's preventing you from ctb you will have to do something to bypass that fear. If you think your quality of life is bad, I think that's a pretty good reason to die and a good reason to motivate yourself to die.

Don't give me the "nobody wants to die" bullshit, most people who killed themselves clearly wanted to die. You say that because they are dead and that means they can't answer your question, it's called survivor ship bias. If life was perfect in every way and sense I wouldn't doubt it, but life it's far from perfect, and that means some people won't want to live at all. I don't need to be dead to assure you I don't want to be alive and I don't want this life, and I am not even depressed right now, it's just that my life is pretty bad from my point of view and will never be good enough for me even though it's not bad enough to kill myself (at least yet).

 

[creationisdeath]

Is anyone else here afraid of dying? I thought I was ready, but I keep getting so terrified of what comes "after". I keep trying to tell myself that everything will go black and I won't feel anymore. That thought does scare me, but so do the alternatives (afterlife, reincarnation etc).

How are you able to get passed this fear? Some days I really want to end everything, and some days I want to have hope and I want to see who I could become, which I think stems from my fear...

Yes. But I find solace in the fact that scientifically speaking I already experienced death. You too. We spend a third of or lives asleep. Without consciousness. (Dreams are only a short time) Why would it be any different when dead?

I hope for some ascension style god like evolution, but if there is nothing I wouldn't be able to perceive anything anyway.

Sleeping feels great, doesn't it? Not existing for a few hours.

 

[Dor]

The scary part for me is that the next state, if there is one which in my opinion there likely is, might be more miserable.

 

[LastDay]

Like how one my fave depresso song goes.

 

[21Neberg]

The scary part for me is that the next state, if there is one which in my opinion there likely is, might be more miserable.

At least we'll have escaped this miserable reality.

 

[Ashpac]

I tell myself i can keep suffering and then die one day naturally which im betting will be an unpleasant death.

Or i can end it now and not suffer anymore. For me, the choice is very easy, the action of ending it used to be very hard for me. Not anymore its not. Its time to be free once and for all.

 

[StreamingMySuicide]

I'm only afraid of pain. If the method involves pain, I'll be afraid

 

[Jon]

The scary part for me is that the next state, if there is one which in my opinion there likely is, might be more miserable.

The Tusculan Disputatious, by Cicero, addresses this very question in the first book, "On the contempt of death". No other work I've read has given such a balanced and impartial view to what could happen after death, and he gives an equal discussion drawing on many ancient sources now lost to us to address the questions, that (a) there is an afterlife, and (b), there isn't. In both cases, using his skill at persuasive rhetoric and sound reasoning he does a very good job at convincing the reader that there is nothing to fear in either case. Check out the link I put to Wikipedia for some background info, with some public domain translations and even an audiobook in the external links section. I've just spotted that there is a more recent translation (no doubt with more comprehensive footnotes) in the further reading section, called:

John Davie (2017) Cicero, On Life and Death. (Translation of Books 1, 2 and 5).

I'm going to see if I can find that book now as I've only read it in the older translations, without footnotes or introduction.

 

[Jai]

Everyone is. Some people say they aren't but I don't believe them and think it's a coping mechanism to try and take control. Nobody wants to die...they want their pain to end and that pain is so great that they see no other way. We don't even know what dying means and the unknown is terrifying to our lizard brains and higher brains alike. Some people find some numb peace with it enough to act...some get drunk or high or act in a desperation...but your feelings are perfectly natural, perfectly human. In my view as long as you have hope then all is not lost and you should climb toward that hope if you can. Sometimes there is no hope, sometimes we cannot climb anymore. That's ok too and just as human. One of us.

This, some people don't fear death I've been a soldier and in a war zone it doesn't scare you just get on with your task I've also had a gun pointed at my self twice and even completely sure of my convictions the first time death didn't scare me the act to violently kill myself did the second time I'll never know as I was caught it I ever get a third attempt I'm sure I'll do it with some sort of alcohol etc but that doesn't mean I know what I'll be thinking when the time comes I may be calm and become sentimental or I may be purged with fear these feelings are quite normal the actual fact that I'll be dead doesn't scare me it's all the variables in between pulling the trigger and being dead that get me thinking good luck and Godspeed

 

[lost_soul83]

I think I'm more afraid of failing and ending up either severely disabled or in a vegetative state.

Sometimes I think about hurting myself severely on purpose, just so I'm not the one that has to do everything all the time, just to get a fuckin' break from all the fuckin' day-to-day shit. But then I think that's stupid and I could just kill myself and hopefully get to heaven and be done with this misery.

 

[Jai]

Sometimes I think about hurting myself severely on purpose, just so I'm not the one that has to do everything all the time, just to get a fuckin' break from all the fuckin' day-to-day shit. But then I think that's stupid and I could just kill myself and hopefully get to heaven and be done with this misery.

I know the feeling mate what's the fucking point I felt like just wheeling my chair straight into traffic it would be so easy just take off the brakes but knowing my luck I'd get hit by a truck then another vehicle survive and would either end up hurting someone else or sued into abject poverty or go to jail so it was only a thought

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Oh yes indeed I am afraid *curls up a bit weakly and yawns, closing my eyes* <3

 

[Jai]

I know the feeling mate what's the fucking point I felt like just wheeling my chair straight into traffic it would be so easy just take off the brakes but knowing my luck I'd get hit by a truck then another vehicle survive and would either end up hurting someone else or sued into abject poverty or go to jail so it was only a thought

People in this city get murdered , killed by drunk drivers , strangest accidents even today someone slipped on ice going to their car taking caution ended up falling hard on their head the last storm here someone just parked up their car to I believe just double check they had something they needed but a fucking tree crushed their car and they died of their injuries , this is a dick move but anytime I've had confrontation with someone or a group I've been extremely hostile hoping a gun may be pulled but every time absolutely nothing happens not a thing just a lot of verbal can't get killed if your looking for it

 

[15dec]

I think it's natural to be scared of death -we're all biologically pre-programmed for self-preservation. The survival instinct is most likely exacerbated by society's fear of death and not wanting to discuss it openly.

I think the best way to stop being scared of what comes after is to think of what you want to happen after you die -nothing, heaven, or reincarnation, maybe. Then focus on that and tell yourself that when you die, that will be what happens. I've found that to be a good way to stop my fear of death.

Though since you seem to have some hope left for life, maybe ctb isn't the answer for you. Have you looked into recovery before? If you're certain that you want to ctb, the right time to do so tends to come naturally, it's not something you should force yourself to do, especially if you still have some hope and want to see how you'll grow as a person.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Not being a medically person, I just imagine being dead is not going to be any different to deep sleep, or being unconscious or a coma (are these things all the same? I don't know) but you don't know anything until you come round so it's fine.
As for what comes after, I don't know but I would like to think that it's something like eternal peace and sanctuary somewhere. Millions of people have gone before us and I take comfort from that.

 

[therhydler]

I am afraid I won't escape the suffering even with death

 

[Eren]

The same thing happens to me, when I do something for my CTB (buy materials for example) I feel a strange, uncomfortable feeling, we are pre-programmed to survive as long as possible, so fantasizing about CTB is easy but doing it is really difficult.

 

[couragetodie]

What I believe changes and it's frustrasting. I am trying to gear up for the final move. Sometimes I think all of this anticipation drives some of us crazy. I mean literally insane. Or maybe I'm just projecting. Maybe SI isn't even strong — maybe it's just fear of the unknown that keeps us from pulling the trigger, downing the N, taking the leap. Fear of the unknown — we have all had to overcome at some time in our lives. Flying for the first time, swimming for the first time, dunking our heads beneath water for the first time, and so forth. So much of our thinking is due to pre-programming, school, parents, friends, the media — where do any beliefs come from really? I for one really appreciate this OP: I just hope I have the courage to die. That's my name. I believe it takes some kind of courage. I believe that if I do not CTB, my life is going to become far worse than I can handle. I have already had bouts with psychosis, homelessness, and been hospitalized many times. I don't want to end up insane, homeless, or imprisoned. Plus, I have a bone marrow condition that I can feel is ripping me up from the inside. I feel pathetic in writing this. I feel like shit. I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I am even writing any of this. I have wronged too many people — nothing so extreme but enough to justify my sentence. I have seen my future and it's bleakness scares the shit out of me. I wasn't able to sustain. My personal goals in life were so far from what I actually achieved. I don't even think I could have ever been happy tbh. And what so many say is that I am too hard on myself. Idk. Too hard? Maybe I wasn't hard enough. And when I CTB that will be "the worst thing I can do" to all my loved ones as many tell me when I have confided in them my desire to CTB? And I think well actually I can imagine many worse things that I could do in the future if my mind has broken completely; if I am literally one of those homeless ppl you see talking to themselves; if I end up so desperate and broken. And in these moments I believe that regardless of what happens after death, I do not want to risk this bleak future on myself or others. Apologies for the long post; I feel the end coming and feel compelled to get some things off my chest.

 

[Jai]

What I believe changes and it's frustrasting. I am trying to gear up for the final move. Sometimes I think all of this anticipation drives some of us crazy. I mean literally insane. Or maybe I'm just projecting. Maybe SI isn't even strong — maybe it's just fear of the unknown that keeps us from pulling the trigger, downing the N, taking the leap. Fear of the unknown — we have all had to overcome at some time in our lives. Flying for the first time, swimming for the first time, dunking our heads beneath water for the first time, and so forth. So much of our thinking is due to pre-programming, school, parents, friends, the media — where do any beliefs come from really? I for one really appreciate this OP: I just hope I have the courage to die. That's my name. I believe it takes some kind of courage. I believe that if I do not CTB, my life is going to become far worse than I can handle. I have already had bouts with psychosis, homelessness, and been hospitalized many times. I don't want to end up insane, homeless, or imprisoned. Plus, I have a bone marrow condition that I can feel is ripping me up from the inside. I feel pathetic in writing this. I feel like shit. I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I am even writing any of this. I have wronged too many people — nothing so extreme but enough to justify my sentence. I have seen my future and it's bleakness scares the shit out of me. I wasn't able to sustain. My personal goals in life were so far from what I actually achieved. I don't even think I could have ever been happy tbh. And what so many say is that I am too hard on myself. Idk. Too hard? Maybe I wasn't hard enough. And when I CTB that will be "the worst thing I can do" to all my loved ones as many tell me when I have confided in them my desire to CTB? And I think well actually I can imagine many worse things that I could do in the future if my mind has broken completely; if I am literally one of those homeless ppl you see talking to themselves; if I end up so desperate and broken. And in these moments I believe that regardless of what happens after death, I do not want to risk this bleak future on myself or others. Apologies for the long post; I feel the end coming and feel compelled to get some things off my chest.

I feel for you friend the last few months I know somehow the end is coming vent all you can get it all off your mind may make the transition easier

 

[Deivis]

Is anyone else here afraid of dying? I thought I was ready, but I keep getting so terrified of what comes "after"..

You've probably never been too close to death? Either through shock, or blood loss, or road accident, or concussion, or general anesthesia, or very high fever (39,9C) or by simply practicing PS?
I've been to (once). It's euphoric and a lot of people here can prove my words..

If you like creepy stories of reincarnation, type "reincarnation" on Quora and you'll get hundreds of anecdotes about it. I don't believe in any of them whatsoever... or better to say - I don't five a ***** :) But if you do want to believe in it, some of them a quite reassuring, saying you'll meet your long-gone grandparents, and there is no Hell, no purgatory, no demons with pitchforks and nobody is going to torment you til the Kingdom Come. It's still a win-win situation.

 

[lost_soul83]

I know the feeling mate what's the fucking point I felt like just wheeling my chair straight into traffic it would be so easy just take off the brakes but knowing my luck I'd get hit by a truck then another vehicle survive and would either end up hurting someone else or sued into abject poverty or go to jail so it was only a thought

May I ask why you're in a wheelchair? My son has cerebral palsy and is also in a chair.

 

[Jai]

No worries I contracted Gullianne Barre syndrome from nowhere went from fit as as fiddle to bring paralysed and no reason after 4 months I can move a little but I'm in a wheelchair or a bed can't stand or walk on my own

 

[bigj75]

I'm not afraid of dying but i am afraid of physical and mental pain.

 

[Jiva]

The fear is normal. I feel the same. Sometimes i am almost ready to go, sometimes i am afraid. I did several attempts kill myself, but only by partial hanging. It is more easy, because i can stop it. If i will have more courage, maybe i try a way vithout any return. But i have afreid!!!

 

[creationisdeath]

I tell myself i can keep suffering and then die one day naturally which im betting will be an unpleasant death.

Or i can end it now and not suffer anymore. For me, the choice is very easy, the action of ending it used to be very hard for me. Not anymore its not. Its time to be free once and for all.

That's something I'm 99.9999999999% sure about in either case.

If I get 100 million dollars tomorrow and somehow manage to fix my issues then I would still prefer to go when I say. Doesn't matter if at 40 or 80.

Maybe I imply too much pathos and ego but I somehow even find that idea "powerful".

 

[Buddyluv19]

Yes. Yes I am afraid to die. I am afraid of the unknown, in general. As far as I know, I've never died - at least in this life. And this is the only life of which I have a memory. I'm glad to have seen the way others feel about it. I really wish I was not afraid to die. It would make certain things a lot easier.

 

[creationisdeath]

No worries I contracted Gullianne Barre syndrome from nowhere went from fit as as fiddle to bring paralysed and no reason after 4 months I can move a little but I'm in a wheelchair or a bed can't stand or walk on my own

I'm so sorry for you. Events like this one are why I absolutely do not believe in an all powerful benevolent God. Either he is not all powerful or not benevolent. People suffering from this makes no god damn sense.

There are literally wealthy pedophiles that live in mansions in Asia and abuse as much as they want. They even make it to old age in wonderful health and die peacefully. (The guy that turned this into videos was caught at 80 or something)

No loving creator-God would let this happen and then punish some random stranger that didn't hurt anyone....

I noticed that the more of an absolute asshole you are the better your life is. The exact opposite of the karma nonsense I've been taught. That doesn't mean I want to be an asshole. I simply find it depressing that it works this way. There's no logic to anything. Just mental/physical abuse.

Creation is death.

Sorry for the rant. I hope you all can find peace in which ever way you choose.

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

i read in this post that sleep may be like death. deep meditative states can be very peaceful. and have no thoughts or pain or suffering.