Afraid of death and want to die at the same time.

[Candleburn]

In afraid of dying. It feels so strange that I one day will stop exististing when I can think and feel today. But I'm also longing for death at same time and my life has always sucked. I think this is strange?

 

[sadalways]

I wouldn't say it's strange, i get these thoughts too. One day i won't be here anymore and think, breathe or feel. I used to have panic attacks over these thoughts but now i kind of started accepting them.

 

[Jaded_Wolf]

I don't think there is anything strange about having complex or contradicting thoughts about death/dying. Fearing the unknown is very common. As much as one may long for death, that doesn't always automatically turn off the survival instinct either.

 

[Valhala]

I'm not afraid of death as such, but the process that leads to it and the eventual SI.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Not strange at all. Many can relate.

 

[citruslynx]

I relate to this heavily. It's rather funny for me because a lot of my anxiety and depression comes from fearing death and dying, and it gets so bad and makes me spiral to the point where ironically I think of dying as the only solution to end these anxieties.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I relate to this heavily. It's rather funny for me because a lot of my anxiety and depression comes from fearing death and dying, and it gets so bad and makes me spiral to the point where ironically I think of dying as the only solution to end these anxieties.

Same here.
I've felt like this my entire life and I am 55 years old now with health problems on the horizon,some genetic. My depression is so bad over this. I need to kill myself now. I don't want to face any illnesses it terrifies me as does death.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

1 microsecond after the brain dies I and every human all will stop existing and never exist again

All thoughts experiences consciousness etc are only functions of a brain . That's all I am.

I want non-existence so I don't fear Death

 

[Candleburn]

Thank u all for your reply. It really help me.

Maybe its just best to get it done.

 

[fkyou]

I wouldn't say it's strange, i get these thoughts too. One day i won't be here anymore and think, breathe or feel. I used to have panic attacks over these thoughts but now i kind of started accepting them.

How did you start to accept them

 

[tartvinegar]

I feel the same way, I'm desperate to die but I'm scared at the same time. The thing I'm most scared of is becoming a vegetable.

 

[sadalways]

How did you start to accept them

I think it just happened over the course of me being a teen and now adult. When i was about 14-15 i'd get really sad over death, knowing that i won't be alive anymore, now i'm 24 and i kind of made peace with the fact that it's what happens to everyone, no way around it. Another part that helps is my beliefs of what happens after - a small part of me believes in reincarnation, i know it sounds unrealistic but it helps me cope.