forsaken_fallacy_12
Member
- Mar 12, 2023
- 7
hello, i am new to this site and this is my first post.
i used to sh -- somewhere between 3 and 6 years ago -- and put absolutely no effort into hiding it. i had been doing it for a bit when some bad influences around me encouraged me to glamorize and glorify sh and being suicidal as a whole. because i was young and impressionable, i began to accessorize this aspect of my vulnerability (a period i refer to as an edgy phase that pains me to look back on). i would cut my left arm the most as i am right handed, occasionally cutting my right arm and thighs. i made no effort to wear makeup or long sleeves or even cut a less conspicuous part of my arm; i am honestly astounded it went unnoticed for months. eventually i stopped after my horrid mother noticed and took me on a car ride, crying at the fact that i'd "do this to myself" and saying she'd "be a better parent" (i slightly suggested that she was part of the reason i started, which is more or less true, but i didn't go too in depth). i would relapse again months later, and my mother noticed quickly. her reaction then was to tell me that if people saw scars on my arms they would think i did drugs, and she told me that if i ever cut myself again, she would take my box cutter and "cut me herself, because that meant i wanted it". definitely not traumatic or anything. gotta love my mom.
i would go back and forth relapsing and taking breaks from it until finally my kind older brother put his foot down and made me tell him where my box cutter was so he could throw it away and told me i could confide in him. this was years ago.
recently, i managed to purchase some new discreet box cutters as i've been going in and out of mental breakdowns and depressive episodes that i believe only self-harm could provide some much-needed momentary relief from. i currently have cut myself twice on my left arm and once on my inner left thigh and have been a bit more careful to scratch away the scabs so that they look older and wear long sleeves more often, but i wanted to ask this forum if anyone had any advice on better ways to hide scars. i was considering using my cc cream (i find foundation to be dreadful), but i don't have setting spray or powder and it will almost definitely smudge right off. please note that if it requires that i order anything, it will be seen by my mother as she always opens my mail before i can get to it and makes me show it to her if i somehow manage to get to it before she can (she saw the box cutters i ordered-- i convinced her i needed them for art, and she took 6 of the 9 that were in the package). thank you and i look forward to posting on here more in the near future!
i used to sh -- somewhere between 3 and 6 years ago -- and put absolutely no effort into hiding it. i had been doing it for a bit when some bad influences around me encouraged me to glamorize and glorify sh and being suicidal as a whole. because i was young and impressionable, i began to accessorize this aspect of my vulnerability (a period i refer to as an edgy phase that pains me to look back on). i would cut my left arm the most as i am right handed, occasionally cutting my right arm and thighs. i made no effort to wear makeup or long sleeves or even cut a less conspicuous part of my arm; i am honestly astounded it went unnoticed for months. eventually i stopped after my horrid mother noticed and took me on a car ride, crying at the fact that i'd "do this to myself" and saying she'd "be a better parent" (i slightly suggested that she was part of the reason i started, which is more or less true, but i didn't go too in depth). i would relapse again months later, and my mother noticed quickly. her reaction then was to tell me that if people saw scars on my arms they would think i did drugs, and she told me that if i ever cut myself again, she would take my box cutter and "cut me herself, because that meant i wanted it". definitely not traumatic or anything. gotta love my mom.
i would go back and forth relapsing and taking breaks from it until finally my kind older brother put his foot down and made me tell him where my box cutter was so he could throw it away and told me i could confide in him. this was years ago.
recently, i managed to purchase some new discreet box cutters as i've been going in and out of mental breakdowns and depressive episodes that i believe only self-harm could provide some much-needed momentary relief from. i currently have cut myself twice on my left arm and once on my inner left thigh and have been a bit more careful to scratch away the scabs so that they look older and wear long sleeves more often, but i wanted to ask this forum if anyone had any advice on better ways to hide scars. i was considering using my cc cream (i find foundation to be dreadful), but i don't have setting spray or powder and it will almost definitely smudge right off. please note that if it requires that i order anything, it will be seen by my mother as she always opens my mail before i can get to it and makes me show it to her if i somehow manage to get to it before she can (she saw the box cutters i ordered-- i convinced her i needed them for art, and she took 6 of the 9 that were in the package). thank you and i look forward to posting on here more in the near future!
