advice needed

[aikomaxxing]

i just feel hopeless and need to know if the final option is my only option

i almost ctb a few weeks ago but got too scared and untied my noose, i really wish i had the courage but i dont so i think i need to at least make a post about it to get a second opinion before i go through with this

i think my life is cooked, it's objectively going really well but i still always wanna ctb. im bipolar 1 mixed so im constantly getting these ups and downs and i physically cannot tkae it anymore my life could be going perfect and ill feel just complete despair and i think that ending it is the only option left for me as ive been feeling this since i was a little kid and i jsut cant take it anymore

im too scared to go on meds and i have before but like i just need to know is this the right choice for me to make

 

[yowai]

i just feel hopeless and need to know if the final option is my only option

i almost ctb a few weeks ago but got too scared and untied my noose, i really wish i had the courage but i dont so i think i need to at least make a post about it to get a second opinion before i go through with this

i think my life is cooked, it's objectively going really well but i still always wanna ctb. im bipolar 1 mixed so im constantly getting these ups and downs and i physically cannot tkae it anymore my life could be going perfect and ill feel just complete despair and i think that ending it is the only option left for me as ive been feeling this since i was a little kid and i jsut cant take it anymore

im too scared to go on meds and i have before but like i just need to know is this the right choice for me to make

What about these meds you say you've been on before? I'd say if nothing else works just force yourself to go on them, I was really hardcore against them but they actually helped me for a couple of years, you might end up a little numb emotionally but its better than constant mood changes and extreme emotions. You can work on your mental health better once you kind of block the rollercoaster in your brain

 

[getoutgirl]

I second the trying meds option first. That + all the mental health help you can get. I feel like you do most days, pure desperation and a call to the void, it seems terrifingly inevitable, and yet others I see such beauty I just don't ever want to stop looking. Sometimes it do be like that.
If your brain and its antics are getting in the way of an unclouded enjoyment of your life, I think you should at least try and tackle that first, then see how that goes.
I wish you the best of luck with that. Take care <3333