Help Abuse

[L$D]

My parents verbally and physically abuse my sister. She is young and I worry about the effect this will have on her.

It's also painful for me to witness my parents acting in such a manner. Is there anything I can do? I will have to ctb eventually, but I don't want to leave her to suffer like this.

Is there any way I can help my parents be better?

 

[Pluto]

Yes.

In my area, the following website has information on how to report abuse:

Department of Health and Human Services Victoria | Reporting child abuse and neglect

If you suspect a child is in need of protection from significant harm, you should make a report to Child Protection.

www.dhhs.vic.gov.au

If you share your location I might be able to find something local.

There also tend to be kids' help lines for those who are underage. It is important to take action, because the likely long-term result for her could be a further lifetime of abuse in later life (attracting abusive partners, drug abuse, etc.).

 

[WadeingThru]

If ur in the US and the situation is an emergency, call 911.
did u suffer the same abuse? If so is it the reason you're wanting to ctb? This situation is not good for either of you. I hope you find the help you and your sister need.

 

[Ada]

I experienced abuse my whole childhood and really wish that I grew up in an orphanage. Don't expect them to be better. The best thing you can do is to get her out of there.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

The others have said good things about getting help for yourself and your sister. You guys deserve better than this.

I want to add that you can't help people who don't want it. People have to be motivated to help themselves. I would be wary with expending energy on helping them personally. How do you feel they would react to someone (even the police, CPS, therapists, the courts, etc) telling them that their behavior is harmful? Would they immediately try to defend themselves? Would they blame you two or someone else in their lives? Would they accept that their actions are wrong and that they need to change?

 

[Pluto]

Would they accept that their actions are wrong and that they need to change?

It's hard to predict the outcome. However, parenting is not a democracy, nor a free market. Parents have a monopoly on power and, if they are primitive or mentally ill enough, will abuse their authority to satisfy their twisted pathological urges.

Having the intimidation of legal authorities breathing down their necks may be sufficient to instill some sense of accountability to their behaviour, under the threat of the children being moved into foster care. It may motivate them to seek counselling. But either way, inaction is a really bad idea.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It's hard to predict the outcome. However, parenting is not a democracy, nor a free market. Parents have a monopoly on power and, if they are primitive or mentally ill enough, will abuse their authority to satisfy their twisted pathological urges.

Having the intimidation of legal authorities breathing down their necks may be sufficient to instill some sense of accountability to their behaviour, under the threat of the children being moved into foster care. It may motivate them to seek counselling. But either way, inaction is a really bad idea.

You're right. I should have asked, "Do you believe that they would accept…etc".

 

[L$D]

I experienced abuse my whole childhood and really wish that I grew up in an orphanage. Don't expect them to be better. The best thing you can do is to get her out of there.

I'm sorry to hear you endured something so difficult. Thank you for the kind words

The others have said good things about getting help for yourself and your sister. You guys deserve better than this.

I want to add that you can't help people who don't want it. People have to be motivated to help themselves. I would be wary with expending energy on helping them personally. How do you feel they would react to someone (even the police, CPS, therapists, the courts, etc) telling them that their behavior is harmful? Would they immediately try to defend themselves? Would they blame you two or someone else in their lives? Would they accept that their actions are wrong and that they need to change?

That's not an option, but if it came to that I do think they'd defend themselves. I've confronted one of my parents about this before, and they got defensive and generally blamed me.

If ur in the US and the situation is an emergency, call 911.
did u suffer the same abuse? If so is it the reason you're wanting to ctb? This situation is not good for either of you. I hope you find the help you and your sister need.

I do suffer the same abuse but not to the extent my sister does. She seems to have it worse in a few regards, which I dislike.

 

[Sherri]

Yes.

In my area, the following website has information on how to report abuse:

Department of Health and Human Services Victoria | Reporting child abuse and neglect

If you suspect a child is in need of protection from significant harm, you should make a report to Child Protection.

www.dhhs.vic.gov.au

If you share your location I might be able to find something local.

There also tend to be kids' help lines for those who are underage. It is important to take action, because the likely long-term result for her could be a further lifetime of abuse in later life (attracting abusive partners, drug abuse, etc.).

This is the best answer if the member is in the USA, just remind your sister to tell all the truth and not be scared.

 

[Angi]

Yes.

In my area, the following website has information on how to report abuse:

Department of Health and Human Services Victoria | Reporting child abuse and neglect

If you suspect a child is in need of protection from significant harm, you should make a report to Child Protection.

www.dhhs.vic.gov.au

If you share your location I might be able to find something local.

There also tend to be kids' help lines for those who are underage. It is important to take action, because the likely long-term result for her could be a further lifetime of abuse in later life (attracting abusive partners, drug abuse, etc.).

I second this opinion. As several others said before, it is impotant to do something, the more impactful the better. Call specialized child abuse services if available, they will be better trained for this than the police. Other continents have these as well, not just the US.

From personal experience: I wish somebody in my past had done something. Anything, really. It takes time to acknowledge that the way your own parents treat you is not "ok" or "normal", so I would not have spoken up for myself as a kid, never, but now I am sufficiently far away to recognize things for what they were and I feel it would be so much easier to bear if anybody had done anything. Several people knew, and turned themselves into silent accompilices, presumably for fear of the drama speaking up for me would have caused. It must be very scary to involve the authorities, but I see not better course of action for you. The will likely not take your sister out of the family if you do not have proof, but it will give your sister better leverage if she chooses to leave, and it may scare your parents enough to behave better for a while. Plus, it will certainly mean she knows someone noticed and loved her enough to care.

 

[Someone123]

My parents verbally and physically abuse my sister. She is young and I worry about the effect this will have on her.

It's also painful for me to witness my parents acting in such a manner. Is there anything I can do? I will have to ctb eventually, but I don't want to leave her to suffer like this.

Is there any way I can help my parents be better?

Truthfully, having been through something similar, it is very unlikely you can change your parents enough to make a difference, though trying is better than nothing. You could have a better chance of getting someone to intervene and get her to a new home- possibly child protective services, maybe an aunt and uncle or grandparents- maybe a teacher can intervene. Parents who do things like this almost always believe they are doing nothing wrong and that the child deserves it- even parents who kill their child as young as 2 or 3 almost always believe that the child deserved it; your sister is getting damage every day that never really heals fully- anyway you can get her to another home, even child protective services, is better than leaving her in this situation. Calling the police or giving an anonymous tip to the police might work, and they can call in cps; you have to be careful about how this is done- they may turn on you or escalate the abuse out of anger if they have the chance. You want to be confident someone will take her out of this home if you report this- she is in very serious danger, that's the reality- you maight be able to be her hero if you can get the right help for her. :)

 

[Shu]

Are you the old L$D?

 

[waitingforrest]

Hey there L$D, I know that this is a tough situation for you because you don't want to make things worse for her.

I do agree with others saying to call CPS in a careful way. Sadly doing nothing will not make the situation any better. As critical as I am of CPS, at least there still is a tiny sliver of hope that things can get better when authorities get involved.

She might not even know that this isn't normal or right for parents to treat her this way. If you do call CPS or the Police, they will most likely talk to the her and the parents. She needs to tell the truth, it's likely the parents will try to keep her silent.

Are you the old L$D?

I am almost certain it is.