Help A friend

[15dec]

I think one of my friends might have a problem with me after an argument with another mutual friend (who I don't particularly like anyway). Is it worth messaging the friend I do actually like and want to carry on being friends with to make sure things are fine with us or just leave it?

 

[Johnnythefox]

I don't know, I don't have any friends.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I think one of my friends might have a problem with me after an argument with another mutual friend (who I don't particularly like anyway). Is it worth messaging the friend I do actually like and want to carry on being friends with to make sure things are fine with us or just leave it?

I would probably contact them and let them know things are cool.

 

[gingerplum]

I don't know, I don't have any friends.

Ouch, I'm hurt. Yes you do, Foxy. You're my only friend in Scotland!

 

[gingerplum]

I think one of my friends might have a problem with me after an argument with another mutual friend (who I don't particularly like anyway). Is it worth messaging the friend I do actually like and want to carry on being friends with to make sure things are fine with us or just leave it?

I mean, it's up to you and how much you value 1) the friendship, and 2) keeping the peace. I always feel obligated to smooth things over and make sure there's no hurt feelings, but that's just part of my pathological need to be liked by everyone.

 

[15dec]

I would probably contact them and let them know things are cool.

I mean, it's up to you and how much you value 1) the friendship, and 2) keeping the peace. I always feel obligated to smooth things over and make sure there's no hurt feelings, but that's just part of my pathological need to be liked by everyone.

Thanks for the advice, he's said we're fine so hopefully we'll carry on being friends since our friendship is really important to me ♡

 

[JustAboutDone]

I'd text and make sure things are all ok. Friends that matter are important to hold on to. Xxx

 

[Trulysorry]

Ask yourself... do I really care?

 

[15dec]

Well, turns out things are a lot more complicated than I thought. He's said a lot of stuff about people not caring about him, only doing stuff because it benefits them or has the smallest burden on them (which in fairness he has a point), actions speaking louder than words, etc. And well, I love this guy and seeing him in so much pain honestly breaks my heart. I've done my best to try and show I care, getting him get well soon cards and stuff like that (he was in hospital a lot recently) and trying to check in when I've thought he was upset (also has a fair amount of mental health problems) but there's only so much I can do without being weird, so I don't really know what to do to try and support him. Other than sending him a link to this site but that's probably not a good idea.

Hell, part of me is hoping that he's just bullshitting this to me because he actually wants nothing to do with me and that he's actually out there living his best life and is having a great time. I don't really know anymore though.

 

[agreement]

It's always better to communicate rather than not

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hmmm. I'd probably write a note or lengthy message telling him you care a great deal you're there if he wants to talk and then step back. You don't want to get caught up in an emotional push me pull you situation. I know you care for him but you also have to care for yourself first - or you want be fit to care for anyone xx