A Formal Goodbye

[deathbyginger]

Tonight is my night. I was luckily enough to unexpectedly receive my SN this morning.

I'll explain the story from the point I ordered everything.

So, the day I had decided the SN method was for me, I had ordered both Meto and SN. But me being anxious about the quality of the one I ordered, I ordered another. Then I waited about a week. My Meto came in quickly, and I was able to pick it up at my post office so no one could find it and interfere with my plans. But, still no signs of my SN and I have been aching (is that the right word) to get of this place.
So, I ordered another SN from an American seller that doesn't actually ship to my country, but I was able to ship it to a "Cross Border" Shipping company for only a fee of $5. This worked perfectly, my SN delivered within 2 day's (crazy!) and I went and picked it up this morning.

Now here I am, I've got all the materials I need and I'm sitting in a hotel with my regime already started.

I'm having trouble understanding how I feel. My emotions seem be to all over the place and I can't put a name on one. I guess I'm excited, excited to be finally free. I'm also feeling guilty, guilty that I'm abandoning my loved ones. Not only that, but I feel sad, sad that I'm never going to see what the iPhone 12 is or what a flying car is. But I have to keep coming back to the reason I'm doing this in the first place. My life is a ticking time bomb no matter if I CTB or not, it's only best that I make the final move myself.

Anyways, back to my situation. I'm in a sub-par hotel by myself with a Roku Express for entertainment and a candle for pleasure. I'm planning on placing a sign that states to call emergency services, as I've passed away.

Methodology

Saturday (23/11/2019)

11am: 1 x 10mg Metoclopramide
4:00pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
5pm: fast begins
9pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
11am: water fast begins (except for small amounts to wash down pills)
12am: 500mg Tylenol, 1mg Xanax
12:15am: 3 x 10 mg Meto
12:30am: 800mg Tagamet
1am: 25g of SN dissolved in 50 mL of water

As you can see, my method involves some morph of the stat dose and the 48h method. I decided to go with this, as I had only had enough time to start my Meto this morning (wasn't expecting to CTB tonight), and I had originally planned on doing the 48h method.

If I puke, I will have a second glass of SN prepared to drink but I don't think it'll be a problem being that I have a pretty strong stomach.

I'm a little nervous, but not overly anxious. I have not noticed any Meto side effects so that's good news. I could use everyone's comfort as I make my journey into the beyond.

 

[develish]

I hope you finally find the piece you deserve, even if this is the only way you see it possible

 

[itistimetoleave]

Good luck! Hope you have a peaceful journey ahead!

 

[Lefty]

Hope you find peace.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Are you gonna watch something or listen to some nice music? I hope you are feeling as calm as can be.

 

[realjunes]

Tonight is my night. I was luckily enough to unexpectedly receive my SN this morning.

I'll explain the story from the point I ordered everything.

So, the day I had decided the SN method was for me, I had ordered both Meto and SN. But me being anxious about the quality of the one I ordered, I ordered another. Then I waited about a week. My Meto came in quickly, and I was able to pick it up at my post office so no one could find it and interfere with my plans. But, still no signs of my SN and I have been aching (is that the right word) to get of this place.
So, I ordered another SN from an American seller that doesn't actually ship to my country, but I was able to ship it to a "Cross Border" Shipping company for only a fee of $5. This worked perfectly, my SN delivered within 2 day's (crazy!) and I went and picked it up this morning.

Now here I am, I've got all the materials I need and I'm sitting in a hotel with my regime already started.

I'm having trouble understanding how I feel. My emotions seem be to all over the place and I can't put a name on one. I guess I'm excited, excited to be finally free. I'm also feeling guilty, guilty that I'm abandoning my loved ones. Not only that, but I feel sad, sad that I'm never going to see what the iPhone 12 is or what a flying car is. But I have to keep coming back to the reason I'm doing this in the first place. My life is a ticking time bomb no matter if I CTB or not, it's only best that I make the final move myself.

Anyways, back to my situation. I'm in a sub-par hotel by myself with a Roku Express for entertainment and a candle for pleasure. I'm planning on placing a sign that states to call emergency services, as I've passed away.

Methodology

Saturday (23/11/2019)

11am: 1 x 10mg Metoclopramide
4:00pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
5pm: fast begins
9pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
11am: water fast begins (except for small amounts to wash down pills)
12am: 500mg Tylenol, 1mg Xanax
12:15am: 3 x 10 mg Meto
12:30am: 800mg Tagamet
1am: 25g of SN dissolved in 50 mL of water

As you can see, my method involves some morph of the stat dose and the 48h method. I decided to go with this, as I had only had enough time to start my Meto this morning (wasn't expecting to CTB tonight), and I had originally planned on doing the 48h method.

If I puke, I will have a second glass of SN prepared to drink but I don't think it'll be a problem being that I have a pretty strong stomach.

I'm a little nervous, but not overly anxious. I have not noticed any Meto side effects so that's good news. I could use everyone's comfort as I make my journey into the beyond.

DBG - you have my support and comfort, as requested. I am a lightweight when it comes to Xanax, and I hope
you are not, but would only be concerned for you that you do not get drowsy from Xanax in the one hour before
SN drink.
Because I would like to know for future reference, and only if you can, what is a "cross border" shipping company
and if you have a name or website please, if you can, PM it to me so it won't go on the forum.
I don't know what you meant by ""involves some morph of the stat dose " as I don't see that in your schedule. I
am pleased you are not overly anxious and no side effects from Meto. That is what we can hope for.
If you need to reach out, do so. Your plan seems solid to me and iIF you decide to proceed, the "beyond,
a place of peace, will welcome you.

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

My SN unexpectedly arrived this morning also, but another few days for me to finish my notes and clean house.

Wishing you a peaceful journey and sending love. Your input on this forum will be greatly missed.

 

[mediocre]

We are all here with you

 

[zeroambition]

I wish you all the best and hope you find peace

 

[readytoleavenow]

Good journey to the emptyness

 

[TrailerTrash]

Sending good thoughts your way and moral support no matter what you decide ..... go forward, wait, or whatever path you choose. Peace to you now and forever .......

 

[Stan]

It's been a real pleasure knowing you. I hope everything goes as you wish. Will be thinking of you

 

[deathbyginger]

Are you gonna watch something or listen to some nice music? I hope you are feeling as calm as can be.

I plan on definitely listening to some Lorde as I pass. I've always found peace listening to her music, and I think it'll help me fade out. I just plan on having my phone die so that the music doesn't play throughout the night.

 

[Final Escape]

Goodbye :(" I hope it goes ok, it's just very sad alone having to go but really u aren't alone we are here with u. I feel like I need assistance to ctb I'm so disorganized and impulsive when I'm about to try to ctb.

 

[develish]

I plan on definitely listening to some Lorde as I pass. I've always found peace listening to her music, and I think it'll help me fade out. I just plan on having my phone die so that the music doesn't play throughout the night.

You should check out Lorn on YouTube : Anvil

 

[deathbyginger]

DBG - you have my support and comfort, as requested. I am a lightweight when it comes to Xanax, and I hope
you are not, but would only be concerned for you that you do not get drowsy from Xanax in the one hour before
SN drink.
Because I would like to know for future reference, and only if you can, what is a "cross border" shipping company
and if you have a name or website please, if you can, PM it to me so it won't go on the forum.
I don't know what you meant by ""involves some morph of the stat dose " as I don't see that in your schedule. I
am pleased you are not overly anxious and no side effects from Meto. That is what we can hope for.
If you need to reach out, do so. Your plan seems solid to me and iIF you decide to proceed, the "beyond,
a place of peace, will welcome you.

I'm somewhat a lightweight to Xanax but I know I can handle 1mg of the stuff without passing out.
Also, a cross border shipping company is just any business that is located near the border (usually between Ontario and NY). You can do a quick search for one that you can ship to and you'll find one. Mine just charged $5 to pick up the package, and was named something along the line of "us address inc".
Also the difference of method and the stat dose is that I begun Meto in the morning, as opposed to waiting til an hour before CTB and taking it all. It just means I have a little extra Meto in my system

 

[Astral316]

Good luck, and remember... the grass is much greener on the other side.

 

[deathbyginger]

You should check out Lorn on YouTube : Anvil

Will do! Thanks :)
I'll take any of your song suggestions
Also. thank you for all your support guys. It means the world to me. Knowing that there is people that care about me on my way out will make this whole thing smoother

Good luck, and remember... the grass is much greener on the other side.

You're right!

My SN unexpectedly arrived this morning also, but another few days for me to finish my notes and clean house.

Wishing you a peaceful journey and sending love. Your input on this forum will be greatly missed.

I considering waiting a few days but I knew that I would have to wait a whole another week and I couldn't bare the pain no longer

 

[Science Is Scary]

I've enjoyed getting to know you in the little time we spent together @deathbyginger. It's rare for me to find a receptive ear to my research ramblings, and you were a very receptive ear indeed. I wish I'd had a chance to look into more methemoglobin reductase inhibitors with you.

I hope you are proud of your phytic acid research. You really did accomplish something no one else on the forum had. I wish you might have decided to stay a little longer and continue your research.

Should you change your mind, I'll be in the usual place. Either way, I respect your medical decision.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I plan on definitely listening to some Lorde as I pass. I've always found peace listening to her music, and I think it'll help me fade out. I just plan on having my phone die so that the music doesn't play throughout the night.

That sounds lovely. yeah she's got a nice voice, music is the key to drifting off in a serene way. Floating & peaceful. enjoy the music.

 

[Nem]

Hugs

 

[deathbyginger]

I've enjoyed getting to know you in the little time we spent together @deathbyginger. It's rare for me to find a receptive ear to my research ramblings, and you were a very receptive ear indeed. I wish I'd had a chance to look into more methemoglobin reductase inhibitors with you.

I hope you are proud of your phytic acid research. You really did accomplish something no one else on the forum had. I wish you might have decided to stay a little longer and continue your research.

Should you change your mind, I'll be in the usual place. Either way, I respect your medical decision.

Thank you, it means a lot to me. If I decide to change my mind, I'll be sure to keep in touch. However, at this time I'm pretty set on my decision.

That sounds lovely. yeah she's got a nice voice, music is the key to drifting off in a serene way. Floating & peaceful. enjoy the music.

You know exactly what I'm talking about! Do you have any music suggestions for me?

also side note: I'm rethinking my dosage of Tagamet. I'm limiting it to 400mg as it suggested that you dont comsume more than 2 tablets per day (each tablet is 200mg)

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Just keep in mind their is no pressure from anyone to do this, no one here would think less of you or give you a bad time if you bail out... it's never to late to decide to live. I dont know your story, so I dont know you're issues. if you go through with it, I wish you peace and comfort in the end and during the transition. I have no idea who you are but this makes me cry...

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Gonna miss you greatly, Ginger. May you sail smoothly! I loved talking with you. x

 

[reapandsow918]

Rest easy mate and I hope all your worries are soon resolved.

 

[okaoki]

safe travels good luck

 

[deathbyginger]

Just keep in mind their is no pressure from anyone to do this, no one here would think less of you or give you a bad time if you bail out... it's never to late to decide to live. I dont know your story, so I dont know you're issues. if you go through with it, I wish you peace and comfort in the end and during the transition. I have no idea who you are but this makes me cry...

Reading this made me cry... If you didn't say it I don't think I would've been able to tell myself the same. I think I may have to call it quits. I don't think I can do this tonight. Not here. I'm leaving at a bad time. It's too rushed. I don't think it was meant to be tonight... my stomach is turning and I feel dizzy at the thought of death right now
I feel ashamed. I don't know what I'm going to tell anyone when I'm back

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

Tonight is my night. I was luckily enough to unexpectedly receive my SN this morning.

I'll explain the story from the point I ordered everything.

So, the day I had decided the SN method was for me, I had ordered both Meto and SN. But me being anxious about the quality of the one I ordered, I ordered another. Then I waited about a week. My Meto came in quickly, and I was able to pick it up at my post office so no one could find it and interfere with my plans. But, still no signs of my SN and I have been aching (is that the right word) to get of this place.
So, I ordered another SN from an American seller that doesn't actually ship to my country, but I was able to ship it to a "Cross Border" Shipping company for only a fee of $5. This worked perfectly, my SN delivered within 2 day's (crazy!) and I went and picked it up this morning.

Now here I am, I've got all the materials I need and I'm sitting in a hotel with my regime already started.

I'm having trouble understanding how I feel. My emotions seem be to all over the place and I can't put a name on one. I guess I'm excited, excited to be finally free. I'm also feeling guilty, guilty that I'm abandoning my loved ones. Not only that, but I feel sad, sad that I'm never going to see what the iPhone 12 is or what a flying car is. But I have to keep coming back to the reason I'm doing this in the first place. My life is a ticking time bomb no matter if I CTB or not, it's only best that I make the final move myself.

Anyways, back to my situation. I'm in a sub-par hotel by myself with a Roku Express for entertainment and a candle for pleasure. I'm planning on placing a sign that states to call emergency services, as I've passed away.

Methodology

Saturday (23/11/2019)

11am: 1 x 10mg Metoclopramide
4:00pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
5pm: fast begins
9pm: 1 x 10mg Meto
11am: water fast begins (except for small amounts to wash down pills)
12am: 500mg Tylenol, 1mg Xanax
12:15am: 3 x 10 mg Meto
12:30am: 800mg Tagamet
1am: 25g of SN dissolved in 50 mL of water

As you can see, my method involves some morph of the stat dose and the 48h method. I decided to go with this, as I had only had enough time to start my Meto this morning (wasn't expecting to CTB tonight), and I had originally planned on doing the 48h method.

If I puke, I will have a second glass of SN prepared to drink but I don't think it'll be a problem being that I have a pretty strong stomach.

I'm a little nervous, but not overly anxious. I have not noticed any Meto side effects so that's good news. I could use everyone's comfort as I make my journey into the beyond.

We're sorry to see you go, but obviously support you. Thank you for your time with us and sharing this moment. We love you.

 

[Nem]

May you have an anxiety free departure
peace/hugs

 

[Stan]

I feel ashamed. I don't know what I'm going to tell anyone when I'm back

Nothing at all to feel ashamed of. Just take some time and think about what you want to say to people when you get back.